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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

My miscarriage experience

49 replies

pv3012 · 20/10/2021 18:17

Hi I'm new to mumsnet, never posted but have been reading threads non stop since I found out I was pregnant about 2 months ago.

I wanted to share my experience here because I thought there might be someone like me frantically reading threads to get some reassurance. I thought that if I can just help one person then it’s worth it!

I’m 36 and decided to start trying for a baby this year as we’re all told that fertility nose dives after 35. I got pregnant in month 2 of trying and we were surprised it happened so quickly but very happy.

At week 6 I started having a bit of brown spotting after BMs (very faint and only when I wiped) but I read this was normal so tried to calm myself down and decided not to think about it too much (easier said than done).

The spotting disappeared for almost a week but then it came back a bit darker. One day at 7 weeks exactly, I was out for a long walk and when I went to the toilet I wiped and found a massive dark brown clot, about the size of my index finger. I immediately freaked out and went straight to A&E. As I was not in pain or bleeding heavily then they referred me to the EPU which was closed but would open at 9am the next day.
The next day my husband and I went to the EPU where I was scanned and told they could see a sac but nothing in it. They advised we wait 10 days to see if anything changed but I knew it was over. That night I cried and cried, I felt like such a failure - I even found it difficult to see pregnant women in the street. Even though it was only 7 weeks, I had so many plans and hopes and they were all gone just like that.

After the emotional turmoil of that day, in the evening the brown blood had turned to red - and then the fear started. I thought I’d have time to get a D&C but if the blood was red already and becoming heavier than spotting I read I could be having a natural miscarriage.

I trawled through the web reading horror stories about women having horrible miscarriages and ending up in A&E. I worked myself into a panic so intense that I couldn’t breathe. That night I couldn’t sleep… I couldn’t even lie down because I was so nauseous. I could only pace around my flat in the dark reminding myself to breathe.

I wanted to write this so that anybody out there going through this knows that even though the ending up in A&E cases do happen there are also cases where it’s like a bad period. Which was my case.

The pain started on Monday afternoon, just normal period cramps that became more intense as the evening went on. I took paracetamol at the beginning of it and managed perfectly fine with that and a heat pad. The cramps were bad at times but nothing too different from a bad period. I passed a number of clots and after about 5 hours of on and off cramps I felt like I needed to go to the toilet, I felt the need to push and then a big clot fell that was about the size of my palm in length. After that the cramps almost stopped completely. I only had some minor cramps for the rest of the evening.

The next day I had some bleeding but just like a normal period and I never filled a pad with blood. So having read what I did I thought this wasn’t over and was bracing myself for it to come back. It never did - the bleeding lasted for a couple of days and then it completely stopped. I got scanned today - about 9 days after the miscarriage and they confirmed all tissues had been passed and my womb looks healthy and normal.

I just wanted to share this as this difficult experience became even more difficult due to my anxiety. Because what I read didn’t line up with my experience, I thought it wasn’t over and stressed myself out waiting for the heavy bleeding and pain that never came.

Each body is different and I think it’s important that we share our experiences - the good, the bad and the average ones also.

I do not wish anyone to go through this but unfortunately it is very common and I appreciate all of you who’ve shared your miscarriage experiences here. Even though some gave me terrible anxiety they also reassured me that this is normal and I’m not broken.

Sorry for the very long post but I do hope it helps someone out there who’s going through the same thing and wondering what to expect.

OP posts:
Snowrose21 · 21/10/2021 13:37

Hi there

I wanted to say thanks so much for sharing your account. I am going through a miscarriage right now and it has been a very drawn out process (not by choice). I am awaiting medical management (again not by choice but the surgical option doesn’t seem to be available) but my body seems to keep starting to do something then stops. I read accounts of natural miscarriage on the miscarriage association website and it has terrified me. I have to say I never appreciated what this process can involve physically. Your post has given me hope that it might not be as traumatic as some of those accounts. I know they are good to manage expectations but I’ve been really scared since reading them and have already been waiting 10+ days (since initial scan) so mentally I’ve been struggling and quite scared.

So thanks so much again. I’m so sorry you went through this too and hope your recovery continues to go smoothly. Best of luck with the rest of your journey.

pv3012 · 21/10/2021 15:13

Hi @Snowrose21, so sorry you’re going through this also. But just know you’re not alone. I completely understand what you’re going through. Actually it was after reading a story in the miscarriage association website that my panic attack started! The wait is truly terrible but one thing I realised is that my body just knew what to do and when I was in it I could manage.
However, something that did help was to have a bag prepared in case we had to rush to hospital - my husband and I looked up the route to the nearest A&E and decided if things went wrong then we would go there. It gave me some comfort to have a plan even if it was never needed.
I also went for walks everyday and that really helped with the anxiety. And when I had cramps the heatpad was great, so if you have one or a hot water bottle - believe me it helps.
Hang in there and I hope at least the physical part of it is over soon for you !

OP posts:
Snowrose21 · 21/10/2021 16:12

Thanks for all the advice @pv3012 - those are some good tips! I have focused on getting supplies I may need for in the house if it happens naturally but hadn’t actually thought of packing a bag. The hot water bottle has been great on the occasions so far that I’ve had cramping but then it tails off, I think my body is just so confused. Getting out for walks is good I agree, I’ve barely moved from the sofa/my bed for the last two weeks that this has been going on as I’m so scared of something happening if I venture out. The miscarriage association website has some really traumatic accounts, we must have panicked at the same ones! I actually left a voicemail for my midwife after reading them asking for her to call me back to talk about my concerns as I was caught so off guard. It just reads so differently from what the midwife at my scan told me I could expect.

I really hope that I can come back to this thread soon to post a similar story to yours, fingers crossed. Thanks for going to the effort to post a more positive account, it has definitely helped me just to know it’s a possibility!

Daisycat16 · 10/01/2022 19:49

Thank you for sharing your experience and sorry to hear of your loss. I am currently going through a miscarriage and feeling so anxious about what to expect and when. Reading about other people’s experiences helps a lot.

pv3012 · 13/01/2022 12:11

Hi @Daisycat16 - sorry to hear you’re also going through this. Hang in there !

OP posts:
pv3012 · 13/01/2022 12:12

@Snowrose21 it’s been a while but how did you get on?

OP posts:
Daisycat16 · 13/01/2022 22:04

Thanks.Tomorrow I’m planning on taking the medication but I have to say I’m feeling terrified. I’m not sure this is the right option in terms of me being able to cope with it but I also know I need to try and move on.

Snowrose21 · 14/01/2022 10:05

Hi @pv3012 thanks for your message! I’m so sorry I didn’t update you, I think after it all ended I tried to focus on Christmas as a distraction and try and put it out of my mind as much as possible. I have to say my experience was very similar to yours! I had some cramping (nothing unmanageable with a hot water bottle like you said) on a Tuesday evening and some heavy bleeding - then it all stopped. Then on the Thursday I actually felt the bleeding before any cramping, when it started I used a hot water bottle and some paracetamol but it was nothing too severe, I went to the toilet and everything just kind of came out (sorry TMI), there was no pushing or anything dramatic at all, it just kind of happened. To the extent my husband and I couldn’t believe it. Then I just went to bed as normal and had some heavy bleeding for a few days/nights then got a scan a few days later and they confirmed that I had passed the majority of the pregnancy and that the rest would hopefully come away itself. So it was all much less traumatic (physically anyway) than those accounts we had read and panicked about! That’s not to say it will be like that for everyone of course, but I was past 11 weeks when I started spotting then the scans showed the development had stopped before 7 weeks. But it was still quite sizeable in terms of what I passed. And obviously the emotional side of things is still tough and I would reflect on it all as a really traumatic time. How are you getting on now?

@Daisycat16 I’m sorry to hear you are going through this, it really is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever gone through. I was due to start medical management a few days after it happened naturally. I just wanted it over with and actually a lot of my distress was due to how long everything took. Because it was a MMC I had the long wait before first and second scans (my second scan was nearly 2 weeks after spotting started) then when they confirmed the pregnancy wasn’t viable (which I knew) I was told it would be a 4-6 week wait for surgical management (vacuum procedure). I still can’t quite get my head around that. I was really upset and my expectations were not managed that this would be the case, I though this would happen quickly after the second scan. Even the medical mgt option involved a 10 day wait from second scan. I found the hanging about waiting and the fear of what was going to happen so difficult. Hang in there, you’ll be okay and be really kind to yourself - sending a big hug.

pv3012 · 14/01/2022 14:02

@Daisycat16 the wait is really the worst part! I totally understand that you’d want the physical part to be over and done with as soon as possible. I didn’t have to wait long because it happened naturally but even after it was over I wasn’t sure if it was truly over until I had that scan a week later. The wait is just agonising. I have no experience with medical management but I do hope it goes well for you and you can start the healing process.
@Snowrose21 so glad to hear your miscarriage wasn’t physically traumatic ! I’m doing ok but the emotional side of things feels harder to get over, I’d like to try again but there’s also a fear element now that wasn’t there before.
I also used Christmas to get my mind off things ! Hopefully I’ll feel ok to try again soon and see how it goes !

OP posts:
Daisycat16 · 14/01/2022 15:05

It really is. Just not knowing what will happen and when. I panicked earlier as all 4 tablets came out and this was after 5 hours. I called for advice and this should not make a difference (thankfully) but in my mind I had expected more to have happened by now. Whilst I’m happy to go out and about I think its that fear of thinking if I do go anywhere what if something happens. I guess see what the next 24/48 hours brings.

Snowrose21 · 14/01/2022 15:44

Will be thinking of you @Daisycat16 I really do think it’s so bad how we are just left to our own devices to go through these things. I really hope it progresses quickly and and as painlessly as possible for you today. Hopefully you have lots of support nearby. Flowers

Snowrose21 · 14/01/2022 15:47

@pv3012 we are so on the same page then, there is so much fear now Sad It has been a really quick few months in a way and I do feel a lot better and sometimes like it was all a bit of a dream. But I do still have my moments and just need a good cry! Sending you lots of good vibes for the months ahead x

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 14/01/2022 16:36

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think I'm having a miscarriage. Pretty sure in fact. But trying to be seen has been a nightmare. I know there's nothing they can do to stop it, but I just need to know if that's what is happened (I'm not sure it is possible to bleed and cramp so much and continue with the pregnancy) so that I can move on and know what to expect. I've been to A&E twice, had to call and call the midwives and the early pregnancy unit, and they wanted the wait between the initial bleeding and a scan to be a week. That just seems insane to just be left without knowing for all that time. I have 2 other children and need to know what to expect and whether to try to get them looked after as I don't want to pass the baby with the possibility of them hearing me cry and in pain.

It's just a horrible, horrible situation and no-one seems to want to help

pv3012 · 14/01/2022 17:16

Hi @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated, I'm sorry you're going through that. As both @Snowrose21 and @Daisycat16 have said, it really is awful how they leave us alone to deal with what is a very traumatic experience physically and emotionally.
I think the not knowing is really terrible, I also called the EPU constantly but they insisted on me waiting even after I already bled and passed all the tissues (except I didn't know it at the time).
It may still not be the case for you, but if you end up having a miscarriage - you're definitely not alone. All I can say is hang in there and I hope you get some answers soon.

OP posts:
pv3012 · 14/01/2022 17:20

@Snowrose21 I feel exactly the same. Sometimes I find myself thinking - did it really happen ? And sometimes I'm just very sad. A good cry always helps though !

@Daisycat16 sending positive thoughts your way and hope it's all over soon !

OP posts:
ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 14/01/2022 17:40

Thanks. I have a scan and appointment booked at the epu for tomorrow morning, but I've only got that through mithering to get seen.
The cramps have gotten much worse, as has the bleeding, but as you've said, it's more like a bad period at the moment than the awful stories you hear.
I'm still trying to stay positive, as I've read about women who have had haematomas or have been pregnant with twins and miscarried one but not the other. But I'm totally prepared for, and expecting the worst tomorrow.
Thanks for the support x

Daisycat16 · 14/01/2022 17:58

Thanks for listening and sharing your experiences and advice x

@ShouldIStaySelfIsolated I am sorry to hear your news also. Keep strong ladies x

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 14/01/2022 18:16

I think it's just happened to be honest Sad I passed something that looked like an * TMI alert* intestine, about 3 inches long. Nothing that looked like a sac or a foetus, but the cramps have subsided significantly.

I guess I'll know in the morning

Daisycat16 · 14/01/2022 18:22

@ShouldIStaySelfIsolated not TMI, I’m absolutely clueless what on earth I should be expecting tbh. The medication I took this morning has not had any effect yet apart from very very mild bit of cramp first thing. I’ve had a d&c in the past and maybe thinking for my own anxiety I should have opted for one this time.

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 15/01/2022 10:46

Just had the scan and it was as I expected Sad hopefully the bleeding won't carry on for too much longer

Daisycat16 · 15/01/2022 11:46

I’m sorry x

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 15/01/2022 12:07

Thanks. It hit me harder than I expected... I thought that would be the easy bit, having it confirmed, especially after the awful cramping and passing of tissue last night. Feel quite numb and hollow now that the tears have stopped.
I showed the nurse a picture of the tissue and she said it looked placental. The scan couldn't see any trace of the baby. I wish they'd seen me sooner, as I might have been able to get a picture of the baby at least. I'm furious and desperately sad that it took them 5 days. I know they couldn't have stopped it, but I might have got a glimpse of something.

Sorry for the rant Blush

How are you feeling @Daisycat16 ?

Daisycat16 · 15/01/2022 13:45

Definitely not ranting. It’s an awful experience and I understand that feeling of being hollow. I am still waiting for things to happen. I will take second medication tomorrow.

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 15/01/2022 14:03

Let us know how you get on. I hope you're ok x

The nurse at the EPU prescribed wine and cake... at 10 am! I think I'll wait til tonight, but hopefully that will make me feel a little better

Daisycat16 · 15/01/2022 14:13

@ShouldIStaySelfIsolatedc yes I’ll tune back and let you know how it goes. I’m 💯 per cent on board for wine and cake x