Hi I'm new to mumsnet, never posted but have been reading threads non stop since I found out I was pregnant about 2 months ago.
I wanted to share my experience here because I thought there might be someone like me frantically reading threads to get some reassurance. I thought that if I can just help one person then it’s worth it!
I’m 36 and decided to start trying for a baby this year as we’re all told that fertility nose dives after 35. I got pregnant in month 2 of trying and we were surprised it happened so quickly but very happy.
At week 6 I started having a bit of brown spotting after BMs (very faint and only when I wiped) but I read this was normal so tried to calm myself down and decided not to think about it too much (easier said than done).
The spotting disappeared for almost a week but then it came back a bit darker. One day at 7 weeks exactly, I was out for a long walk and when I went to the toilet I wiped and found a massive dark brown clot, about the size of my index finger. I immediately freaked out and went straight to A&E. As I was not in pain or bleeding heavily then they referred me to the EPU which was closed but would open at 9am the next day.
The next day my husband and I went to the EPU where I was scanned and told they could see a sac but nothing in it. They advised we wait 10 days to see if anything changed but I knew it was over. That night I cried and cried, I felt like such a failure - I even found it difficult to see pregnant women in the street. Even though it was only 7 weeks, I had so many plans and hopes and they were all gone just like that.
After the emotional turmoil of that day, in the evening the brown blood had turned to red - and then the fear started. I thought I’d have time to get a D&C but if the blood was red already and becoming heavier than spotting I read I could be having a natural miscarriage.
I trawled through the web reading horror stories about women having horrible miscarriages and ending up in A&E. I worked myself into a panic so intense that I couldn’t breathe. That night I couldn’t sleep… I couldn’t even lie down because I was so nauseous. I could only pace around my flat in the dark reminding myself to breathe.
I wanted to write this so that anybody out there going through this knows that even though the ending up in A&E cases do happen there are also cases where it’s like a bad period. Which was my case.
The pain started on Monday afternoon, just normal period cramps that became more intense as the evening went on. I took paracetamol at the beginning of it and managed perfectly fine with that and a heat pad. The cramps were bad at times but nothing too different from a bad period. I passed a number of clots and after about 5 hours of on and off cramps I felt like I needed to go to the toilet, I felt the need to push and then a big clot fell that was about the size of my palm in length. After that the cramps almost stopped completely. I only had some minor cramps for the rest of the evening.
The next day I had some bleeding but just like a normal period and I never filled a pad with blood. So having read what I did I thought this wasn’t over and was bracing myself for it to come back. It never did - the bleeding lasted for a couple of days and then it completely stopped. I got scanned today - about 9 days after the miscarriage and they confirmed all tissues had been passed and my womb looks healthy and normal.
I just wanted to share this as this difficult experience became even more difficult due to my anxiety. Because what I read didn’t line up with my experience, I thought it wasn’t over and stressed myself out waiting for the heavy bleeding and pain that never came.
Each body is different and I think it’s important that we share our experiences - the good, the bad and the average ones also.
I do not wish anyone to go through this but unfortunately it is very common and I appreciate all of you who’ve shared your miscarriage experiences here. Even though some gave me terrible anxiety they also reassured me that this is normal and I’m not broken.
Sorry for the very long post but I do hope it helps someone out there who’s going through the same thing and wondering what to expect.