It’s all over, Christmas miscarriage

[Lbiddis]

Sorry to message such a sad message on Christmas Day but feeling very lost and lonely and can’t reach out to my family as it will ruin their day.

After 2 days of bleeding and clots at 6 weeks I have just done a pregnancy test and it’s negative. What an end to 2020. I’m so sad, we were so happy and it was this lovely light at the end of the tunnel and now I just feel empty and lost.

I’m a teacher and this year has been so difficult, stress levels through the roof and worrying the stress was affecting my chances to conceive so it was wonderful when we found out (and did like 9 tests to check). I don’t even know how I can face the stress of school year again in January.

Although I’m tier 2 my family all live in tier 4 so my plans just ended on Saturday and so just me and my partner, I just really want a hug from my mum and sister. Feel so lonely, no one knows except my partner who is lovely but finds it all very different to talk about and wants me to wait til my appointment on 4th just in case but I can just tell it’s ended, the feelings have changed and I don’t have the need to pee constantly and the negative test just confirmed it.

Sorry for just moaning, this is supposed to be a lovely day but I’m just broken x

I'm so sorry to hear this if you can't hug your mum and sister I'm sending you a big virtual hug! Nothing much I can say will help you but I'm thinking about you x

Ahh OP, that is so sad. 💔 I'm so sorry.

So sorry to hear this, OP.

Very sad news, I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you, just putting it out there and hearing back from someone has been good. Just woken partner up and he’s hungover so not going to get much support from him today.

I haven’t posted on here before but it’s become a bit of a bible since getting the first positive.

Thanks for your kindness, it means a lot x x

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you a massive virtual hug

It's a really shitty thing to happen any time of year - but you have the triple whammy of Covid and Christmas - be kind to yourself today, do what you need to do to get through it.

I know you don't want to spoil your family's Christmas - but if you are close, and they are good people, they will want to support you right now. X

Oh OP. This happened to me many Christmases ago, it was so hard and I feel for you. Sending warmth and light your way today - take care of yourself, let yourself grieve, and please talk to your loved ones. Its not moaning its grieving.

I’m sorry for your loss. I too suffered a miscarriage this week. I spent nearly all day alone at the hospital on Christmas Eve. You’re not alone. It is a tough time but I hope you will begin feeling better soon.

I’m really sorry OP, I too miscarried 3 weeks ago, it’s an awful feeling. I was shocked by the huge level of grief I felt.
My only advise would be to be really kind to yourself. Take time for you. Grieve. Lay in bed and do nothing or cry for as long and as many times as you need. Just do whatever it is you need and don’t worry about anything else.
Sorry for your loss, sending you love 💕

So sorry to hear that OP. FWIW I've had multiple miscarriages too, ended up, like most other women who have had miscarriages, with two lovely children so don't despair, you'll have your baby in your arms soon enough.

Virtual hugs

Thank you, not sure if I’ll contact family as they’ve had a rough year and deserve a day to relax but might just sit and watch mindless tv all day. Became addicted to online colouring app the past 2 days to stop thinking about things

@Copernico I’m so sorry that sounds so lonely, I hope you are also looking after yourself and taking time to grieve. Sending hugs x

@Namechangedforthisoct2 I’m so sorry to hear about yours too but thank you for your kindness and sending you lots of love too

@custardbear thank you, sounds like you’ve had an ordeal but thank you for the hope you’ve given me x

@custardbear do you ever stop thinking about the babies you've lost, even when you do go on to have kids? I miscarried a year ago and am still grieving for it, imagining what it would be like.

Miscarriages are so sad, and without your support network is tough. Fellow teacher here with a virtual hug.

I'm so sorry to read this OP, what difficult timing for this to happen, and so considerate of you to think of your families feelings in this. I miscarried at 10 weeks a few weeks ago and still have an incomplete miscarriage so am back on January 4th too. The timing makes any treatment or appointments so much more difficult at this time of year. Be kind and gentle with yourself today ❤️

I’m so sorry OP. Sending you virtual hugs.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, I didn’t find out until the 12 week scan. It was so depressing at the time and naturally disappointing.

I went on to have 3 healthy DCs and the mc is just a distant memory now. One day this will likely be the case for you OP, hold on to that thought.

Hi @Lbiddis, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I had a miscarriage at about six weeks on new years day 2019, because of the holidays I couldn't get scanned right away and it may be the same for you but I see you mention taking home tests to confirm the miscarriage and wanted to advise you to contact your local early pregnancy unit at the hospital. I was told I needed a scan to ensure there was nothing else going on e.g. ectopic pregnancy or rule out needing any medical management. 'Luckily' for me, my body handled my miscarriage naturally with no complications but I have a friend who did need a procedure.

Also, I hope this isn't insensitive but hopeful for you - as last xmas was approaching I was dreading the 'anniversary' of the miscarriage coming up when after months of trying again I got a positive test! It felt like it was never going to happen for me but there is now a beautiful little girl feeding and dozing in my arms as I type.

I think it is all the more difficult for a loss like this to happen at this time of year and as others have said, be kind to yourself, make time to grieve and allow yourself to hope for a better 2021.

@Lbiddis I'm going through something similar. I found out on Monday I had a MMC at 9+5. I was going to for private scan so I could tell family for Christmas as a surprise, and instead found out I had lost the baby even though I had seen it with a heartbeat 3 weeks earlier. My body won't let go and I'm booked in for surgery Wednesday. It has been absolutely heartbreaking going through Christmas. We are in tier 4 so was just my husband and I, but I felt so sad. So sad to not be drinking. So sad feeling I've let the baby down and guilty I couldn't protect it. And so sad knowing the sac is still inside me and my body still thinks it is growing a baby. It has been the hardest thing, I'm so sorry you're going through this too xx

OP and AMS19 and all the other women who have lost their babies. Those of you who are keeping things to yourselves, please do now tell your family. They will want to support you.

@HidingInTheToiletFor5minsPeace ❤️ Will do, sadness and crying has turned to flatness and didn’t sleep much (although I finished half a cross stitch instead) but will call my family later today even though I think it’s will go back to tears again.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to send me messages yesterday and share your experiences. It really did help me to feel less alone, thank you from the bottom of my heart and sending love for you all to have happy futures x x

@AMS19 I’m so sorry to hear everything you are going through, that must be even harder to know you have these horrible days to come. I hope these days soon become a blur for you but take your time to heal. Sending you so many thoughts and love for next week, your not alone and if you need to talk just pm me x x

I guess I should get myself checked on the 4th just in case

I'm very sorry

So sorry OP

@Lbiddis thank you! It is so sad finding others in the same boat but also provides some comfort! Keep me updated on how everything going for you. Definitely get yourself scanned and checked xx