Conceiving after Miscarriage

[5unshine]

Hi Everyone,

I had my 12 week scan last week and had started light bleeding the day before. I was hopeful that it was just spotting, my unfortunately my baby had stopped growing at around 6 weeks and I was therefore starting to miscarry :(

Me and my husband are really keen to start trying again as soon as possible and was wondering what everyone’s experiences were with this?

The nurse at the hospital advised me to wait at least one full menstrual cycle, however my midwife told me that they only tell you this for dating purposes, and I can actually try whenever I feel physically and emotionally ready to, even if I haven’t had a proper cycle yet (if I’m ovulating of course).

If anyone could share their personal experiences of conceiving after a miscarriage, I would be really grateful.

Thank you so much

I had an MMC earlier this year and then RPOC after my op so needed another. It was horrific and I thought my cycle wouldn't start again, I was convinced there were problems.

Luckily it finally started but I ended up with a false positive, followed by a chemical pregnancy, followed by my current successful pregnancy (coming up to 30 weeks). Took just under 6 months from my 2nd op to positive.

Regarding waiting a cycle, we planned to, then we wanted to stop waiting to DTD so went for it. I did have a cycle though, which I'm pleased about as wouldn't have forgiven myself if something happened to baby because my womb wasn't "flushed out" although I'd had a very thorough D&C.

Good luck and you will get there!!

No me neither @Daffodil21 never realised it would all be this hard, despite already knowing beforehand how common miscarriage actually was. I was able to go through the last two weeks from finding out without thinking it was my fault or anything that I did, but I’m struggling now since the surgery to stop looking things up and convincing myself it was my body that did something, or that I did something wrong 😔

@PumpkinEverything I know it's such a horrible feeling. I'm constantly thinking 'oh I didn't do this last time, maybe I should because if I had then maybe it would have been ok' etc. And then I have some totally crazy moments where I'm like 'fuck it I want to eat all the pate and things I shouldn't eat because I tried everything I could have last time and it still didn't work!' It's so unfair. Whatever the reason, it is NOT our fault. We haven't done anything that would harm a pregnancy. Even if it's our bodies response to pregnancy, that's not something we can take blame for

@Daffodil21 I think it would be hard not to be like that for sure. I would probably be thinking the same sometimes that what’s the point of not having what I want, but then I know I’d just feel so guilty afterwards! I hadn’t been drinking peppermint tea during my pregnancy as I once read it can cause uterine contractions, and around the time my baby stopped growing I had a bad stomach and decided to actually have a cup to see if it helped. I now need to keep telling myself that it wasn’t from having one cup of tea that I wasn’t even completely sure wasn’t allowed as it wasn’t on an nhs website!

@5unshine hi, lovely. I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm going through this journey with you! I had MC on 29th November when I was 6 weeks. My bleeding only lasted for three days afterwards and I was advised that my hormone levels were exceptionally low. We TTC as soon as the bleeding stopped, the nurse told me to wait one week so I could confirm negative test but I really didn't want to wait. I've just taken a test now it's negative (no surprise) so I'm just testing each day to see when I ovulate. I'm desperate to be pregnant again, it's such a horrible feeling. Good luck! Xx

@PumpkinEverything oh gosh that's such bad timing! But the tea won't have had anything to do with it, you can't think like that ❤️ I remember living a heavy bag while food shopping during my first (early) pregnancy. I actually remember thinking 'if I have a mc it's because this bag was too heavy'. Then I had two further MCs so I have to try and remember that it's probably not due to lifting that shopping bag...

Yeah @Daffodil21 @PumpkinEverything I fell and hit myself (not my belly!) Doing a sport the week before the baby died. I've found myself thinking "that couldn't have... could it?". NO, that couldn't have. No one would have a baby if they were so fragile in utero that these things affected it. But I understand the thoughts. I think its cause we so badly want control. Even if that control is self blaming or what NOT to do. It's so hard that a huge amount of whether or not a pregnancy works out is completely out of our control

Wow! I have o my just logged in again and really didn’t expect to have so much response form this post, it’s so comforting to hear from people in the same boat as me. I really didn’t realise how common miscarriage was and thought it was something that wouldn’t ever happen to me or anyone that I know.

Having an open discussion with people going through what I am going through makes me feel less ‘guilty’ about what happened as I am also constantly thinking what I maybe did wrong during my 6th week to cause my baby to stop growing, but from all your comment it just proves that these things happen and I really think we will all get through it and get our rainbow babies when our bodies are ready for it.

If doesn’t make the pain from loss go away, but it does comfort me to know that we are not alone ♥️

@TheDaydreamBelievers it was absolutely NOT anything you did ❤️ I am so very sorry to hear things didn't work out for you either (we've spoken previously on the Scottish first trimester thread)

@5unshine I’ve found a lot of these threads very helpful and comforting during my whole TTC and loss journey as there’s so many people going through the same thing that it reminds you that you aren’t crazy with your thoughts.

@TheDaydreamBelievers you’re so right. I feel like I just want there to be a reason for what happened so I know and understand, and definitely so that I feel more in control. It’s so hard to accept sometimes that some things aren’t in our control at all.