1st pregnancy ending in miscarriage at 5/6 weeks. Please tell me your stories!

[Nannon145]

I am currently going through my 1st miscarriage and this was my 1st pregnancy. Currently having a medium flow with hardly any cramping.

1. What was your miscarriage like? Should I expect cramping and heavier flow?

Also, looking into the future I do want to try again straight away, we really really want a baby and are seeing this as ‘not meant to be’ as heartbreaking as it is. Thinking about trying again scares me though.

So, 2. How soon after your miscarriage did you conceive and was it a successful pregnancy?

When I realised I was having a miscarriage, I was distraught, and coming to this website has made me realise how common it actually is and I really do think it should be spoken about more in day to day life.

please everyone tell me your stories, I want to hear them all. It will really help me get through this and feel like I’m not on my own

Thank you. ❤️

Hi OP

I miscarried almost a year ago with our first pregnancy. I was 6+6 and abroad on holiday when it happened.

My bleeding was quite minimal I had expected it to be horrific. Had a few clots when I went to hospital (only went as I was on holiday) no cramping at all. It wasn't what I had expected, nothing like what I'd read about which is why I was confused as to whether it was a miscarriage or not. I was absolutely heartbroken as was my husband (which upset me more)

It had taken us 6 months to fall pregnant with that pregnancy. We started trying as soon as we could after the miscarriage. Took 3 months and I'm now 39 weeks 🌈

I found talking openly about my miscarriage with friends really therapeutic and helpful. I did get the baby loss awareness ribbon as a tattoo which I again found helpful. You will get your rainbow baby and you will treasure every part of the pregnancy.

I thought I'd be super anxious during this pregnancy because of our loss but honestly I haven't been.

You must look after yourself and take time to heal mentally as well as physically x

Hi

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last October. Honestly mine was quite painful, I found the pain worse then period pain but it only last a few days. The bleeding lasted about a week and was very heavy to begin with and then became lighter.

I will be 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow and conceived at the end of december. I know many people who got pregnant again quite quickly, before having another period. I waited however because I developed an infection following my miscarriage (this was really rare and unlucky, so dont worry about it).

My advice would be to talk about it, its happened to more people than you might realise and I found women were quite willing to talk through their own experiences and offer emotional support.

It's sad and it hurts to think about the possibility lost, however you will get through it. I told myself that baby wouldn't have been healthy and well and it was best for them, that did help. Let yourself feel your feelings.

Thank you both @MrsH497 @Blindingpeaky, your stories give me hope.
I'm so glad you've both gotten your rainbow babies, I got I get mine soon.
It's so lovely hearing other peoples stories and being able to talk about it ❤️

@Nannon145 I was amazed how many friends had been through pregnancy loss. Don't bottle up your feelings, share them with your partner and they must also grieve.

Like @Blindingpeaky I told myself it was natures way of telling me baby wasn't meant to be and something was wrong. It's heartbreaking but you'll get your 🌈 just don't put pressure on yourselves

I had 2 MCs in 2018, one in June and one in December, both around 5 to 6 weeks. Having 2 in a row is less likely than having a successful 2nd pregnancy, I was told (but I have a uterine abnormality).
I had cramps but nothing much worse than a period, and I think I bled for about 10 days, decreasing over time.

I conceived my son in 2019 and he's now 4 months old.
They like you to wait until after you have your next period to try again, but that's just for the purpose of dating if you get pregnant again straight away.
Take your time to be sad about it, but it's fine if you want to try again straight away. I did (apart from waiting the one month).

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

@Lostvoiced thank you for your story and kind words xx

Hey op,

I'm really sorry for your loss. I miscarried with my first in August at nearly 6 weeks. It was just like a really painful period. We fell pregnant the following month and I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant

@Lemonysherbet exactly the same situation as me. I'm nearly 6 weeks. Hopefully I get the same outcome as you too!!!! Fingers crossed, congratulations on your pregnancy x

Everyone's stories are really helpful. I'd love to hear more stories x

Hi OP. I miscarried around the same time. The actual physical process wasn't as bad as I had been told it would be, the emotional side was much harder. We decided to wait a few months before trying again but when tried again we did get pregnant and now have a beautiful 13 month old girl. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, time will make it easier xx

@babysnowman thank you for your story. So glad you have your beautiful rainbow baby now ❤️❤️❤️

I lost two in a row at 10 weeks. Minimal pain but hospitalised overnight for both due to blood loss. I have two older children and a rainbow.

First time we conceived after 2 months once I felt stronger. Second time I asked the consultant (during the miscarriage) and she said you can ttc straight away but I’d advise leaving it a few months for your mental health. We left it 6 months.

Both times I didn’t have the option of keeping it private, as my blood loss meant I was needing to sit down at nursery pick up etc so people were asking what was up. I’m really glad I opened up about it irl because i found out so many others had been through the same. Before that I only knew of one other, but her story was a great help to me during my first miscarriage.

If you do feel in a position to share with people irl then please do, you never know who you could help with your honesty. It’s such a taboo in our culture.

@Nannon145 I'm so sorry you're going through it 💕 I'm currently in the middle of one too although was a missed miscarriage and I had medical management this morning. It's been brutal to be perfectly honest, I thought I was going to end up in hospital late this afternoon. I hope everything goes as easy as possible for you and someday we get our little dream!

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in 2011. At the time I couldn't imagine ever actually getting the baby I was desperate for and didn't dare to try for 2 years as I was scared it would happen again. Fast forward and I've just had my 3rd baby! Keep the faith, it will happen!

We found out at our 12 week scan that id had a missed miscarriage. It was devastating!! I was given medication to get things started, it gave me cramps and made me want to push, sat in the loom for the longest time. Sadly it didn't work but that wasn't discovered until a month later at a check up so I had to go through it again. Wasn't as bab second time round but they called me in alot earlier and again the meds hadn't worked. I eventually had a DnC. So I miscarried in the Oct and had the DnC in the Dec. I had to wait till my next period before we could try again which came at the end of Jan and we conceived in the Apr.

@peajotter so happy you got your rainbow babies in the end ❤️ thank you for your story.

@Stabal sorry to hear you're going through it now too. Hopefully we will both get our babies soon ❤️ always here if you need to talk.

@theginge thank you for your story, so happy to hear about your rainbow babies!

@Misskg1982 sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. But so glad to hear you conceived again ❤️

My bleeding has been quite heavy today but not noticed many clots & not had bad cramps at all. I'm worried it's gonna get worse and worse but I'm strong I can get through this

Sorry for your loss. Its difficult being the 1st pregnancy. I'm currently going through my 3rd loss and have no children.

1st loss had a genetic disorder discovered at 11 weeks on NIPT. Had medical management. It was painful, but bearable. I bled constantly for 2 mths after, but fairly light. I wasn't told to do a repeat pregnancy test, wasn't on any forums and didn't realise this wasn't normal. Finally a retained product came out and all was well.

Took 8mths TTC to get pregnant again, and MC at 7 weeks. No pain, bleeding MUCH lighter than the 1st loss and only lasted 1 week. Cycle started exactly 30days since the MC, which is my usual cycle anyways. TTC another 16mths after that loss and nothing happened.

3rd/current pregnancy loss was IVF, but MC at almost 10 weeks, despite a scan at 7 weeks showing a heart beat.

I got through my losses by thinking of the positives. I know this sounds odd, but there are many we can be grateful for. Everyone will have their own positives, but some of mine were: My own health is good and I can try again. I live in a country with modern medical facilities where I can have tests, scans and treatment. None of my pregnancies were molar. There was obviously things wrong, so I was glad things ended early, rather than a later MC or still birth , which would have been much harder to deal with. x

I had a few. My 6 week one was ok, like a bad period. If you like (or if you feel a bit anxious about any pain to come) you can take paraceramol, just check the packet how much and how many hours between doses.

I never wanted to try right away again so can't advise you there (besides, ended up needing ivf anyway). I felt that I needed to heal and get stronger and healthier before my next TTC.

I had a missed miscarriage, discovered in a scan at 14 wks (I was meant to have CVS after the scan due to a positive NIPT result for T21). I was recommended medical management at the hospital due to size of baby and because I’d had lots of bleeding when my son was born. I went into hospital the next day for the first tablet and two days later for the actual thing (nothing happened with the first tablet). I was worried about being in hospital because of the Coronavirus and also because you have to come alone but actually the experience was okay as it was quiet, I had my own room with a toilet in the EPU (originally labour ward but then luckily they changed the location) and the same nurse for the whole day. It took 3 hrs for the tablets to take affect, I didn’t have much pain but felt something and ran to the toilet and the sac came out (sorry for graphics), there was a lot of blood for the next few hours, I wasn’t in much pain but was happy to be in the hospital as the nurse took care of everything. I don’t think I could’ve coped seeing the baby, dealing with the blood or having to do something at home, to worry about my partner or my son who is 7 etc. The nurse was so lovely and took pictures which I have looked at but chose not to see the baby in person, it was better for me but I think everyone is different. It took another 3 hours until placenta came out, I had a headache as was probably dehydrated so had a drip and some paracetamol and I was discharged at 5pm. It’s now day 10 since I was in the hospital and I still have some light bleeding but looks like it’s almost finished. I had some cramps the first night but no other pain since then. I feel sad at times, but not so tiery - I did a lot of crying in a short space of a week and a bit between my 12 wk scan, combined screening, NIPT and then the MMC so I think by the time of the miscarriage I was all cried out. I do want to try for another baby in the future. Wishing you all the best OP, reading through MN has/ continues to help me process this - it’s so so sad and feels so unfair at times but we’ll get through this and will hopefully go onto having another baby. X

So sorry to hear you're going through this. This time of the year always brings back sad memories because I had my first MC exactly four years ago. It was also around 5-6 weeks and I naively assumed that nothing could go wrong after seeing a positive pregnancy test. Started bleeding a few days later and it was exactly like a normal period. I was sad for quite some time afterwards especially as it was so early I felt like I didn't have a "right" to grieve and there wasn't even an ultrasound picture or anything.

I went through a MMC later the same year (stopped developing at 7 weeks, discovered at 10 weeks). That one was slightly more painful but definitely not unbearable or traumatising. Managed it with hot water bottles and OTC painkillers. Reading online accounts of MCs made me terrified that there was going to be blood gushing everywhere but I actually bled about the same, maybe a tiny bit more than my usual period.

I did feel very alone after that, and reading Mumsnet really helped. I also heard from many female relatives that having a MC in your first pregnancy is very common, and happened to many of them. It's like your body needs to practise being pregnant and doesn't always get it right right away, just like anything you learn to do (sports, dance, hobbies etc). I liked that theory as it made sense and stopped me from worrying that the MC was because I didn't take prenatal vitamins or had too much stress.

The good news is I got pregnant again two years ago, which progressed without any problems and DD is snoring away on the baby monitor next to me. Having MCs did make it harder to enjoy the pregnancy as I was constantly waiting for something to go wrong but of course it was all worth it in the end.

Just wanted to add that I found a lot of comfort in reading about Japanese Jizo Statues. Eg here: www.nytimes.com/2017/01/06/well/family/the-japanese-art-of-grieving-a-miscarriage.html?_r=0
After my second MC I ordered a small one from Amazon and made a small red hat for it.

@Elouera @walkingchuckydoll @May5th @CoffeeDay Thank you so much for your stories. It truly does help me with every story I read to get through this. I love feeling that I'm not on my own ❤️

Sorry to hear about everyone's losses but I'm happy to hear about your rainbow babies. Or, if you haven't got your rainbow baby yet, I pray that you get them soon ❤️

HI OP, I had a mc at just shy of 8 weeks first time around. I think I had a month off then went back to trying and was pregnant with my first child 2nd cycle after trying again. I had bleeding at about the same point and thought it was all over again, but it was different, more brown blood, and turned out to be implantation bleeding and all was well.

I then went on to have 2 more children 3 and 6 years later, both conceived first attempt, no bleeding or issues with the pregnancies.

I think it is really, really common to have a very early mc the first time around, almost like your body trying it out. Like you, it was a massive shock to me as I wasn't expecting it and nobody had mentioned it to me. I had a month off, mainly so that I had at least 1 period between any pregancies for dating purposes and also I felt that it was "closure" if you like on the first one. But I don't think you have to, it might just make it harder to know when to test, dates etc if you were to get pregnant again right away next cycle.

Good luck, what you are going through is incredibly common and you're right, we should talk about it more x

@MinteeFresh thank you so much for telling me your story. It makes me very happy to hear other people going through the same and having positive outcomes.
I had no idea how common it was to miscarry with your 1st!!! Should definitely talk about it more x