1 Week Post Ectopic - can’t stop worrying about future

[Bumble88]

Hi, this is my first post. Tomorrow will be one week since my ectopic and op to remove right tube. It was my first pregnancy, I’m 31 and I was just coming up to 7 weeks. Ruptured, blood loss, blood transfusions etc. I realise I am lucky to be safe, but I just cannot stop thinking about the future and fertility.

I have trawled through all the forums looking for good news and stories of hope, of which I have found lots. But sitting here recovering, it is constantly on my mind. I can’t think of anything else but “will I be able to have another baby?”

I just don’t know how to stop worrying. My DH and Mum have looked after me, but I can’t share how worried I am because (perhaps rightly) they just say we have a good chance, not to worry excessively etc etc. Just feeling so down atm.

That's great news you are back at work @Bumble88! Very positive how have you found your work colleagues?

I'm still struggling mentally but I guess that's normal as it still feels quite raw. I keep getting twinges on my left side even though the bleeding has finished which is worrying me. I had expectant management and my mind is playing over time!

Hey.
Just came across your post.
I haven't had an ectopic but I had a MMC last year at 8 weeks then a still born at 22 weeks due to my baby boy having a bad heart (October just gone)
I've came home from work today and burst into tears worrying about my future and scared about what's in store for me.
It's great to here your back in routine but remember not to be so hard on yourself. Your doing great and it will work out for you. It may seem stormy now and somedays you will have an episode of sadness (like me tonight!) but you will get there and the storm doesn't last forever. I've had a good chat with my husband tonight and your mind can be a scary place when you let negative thoughts slip back in!
All you can do is try again and aim for that happy ending.
Sending you so much strength xxx

Hi op. I just wanted to say this happened to me about 9 years ago. Almost exactly as you described. I too was terrified that my fertility would be impacted in some way. My sister had fertility problems and the 'reassuring' leaflet they gave me did not help. I was desperate to try again and we did after one cycle. I got pregnant straight away, all fine. It's awful, and I know what you are going through but just wanted to say it can work out

Just wanted to share with you positive news after my ectopic and tube removal 18 months ago. I asked the surgeon about reasons why this had happened and impact on my future fertility. He said that there was no reason I was just unlucky and that the outward appearance of the tube is indicative of its health inside and that my other tube was perfectly healthy. I think it is called the patency. I was very anxious and upset about things and I actually paid to see a specialist. He explained that what the surgeon had told me was correct and also as I think a few people have already mentioned it isn't quite as simple as reducing your fertility by 50%, your body is an amazing thing and it is even possible for an egg from the tubeless side to migrate to the other side. He told me to go back after a year of trying if I didn't get pregnant. I got pregnant 9 months after my ectopic but in reality we were probably only trying in earnest for maybe 4 or 5 months by which I mean doing ovulation tests etc. When I got pregnant the second time i was also worried about it happening again. The EPU at my hospital had me in for an early scan without any questions asked and out my mind at rest that baby this time was in the right place. Take your time and allow your mind and body to heal. You are going through a very tough time and with the added worry of what will or will not happen in the future it can feel all consuming or at least it did for me. Sending you massive hugs and and happy, positive thoughts for your next pregnancy xxx

Thanks ladies for your positive stories and sharing your wisdom. It really does help to know that others have been in the same place and there are lots of positive endings. I had a bad week last week, my neighbour told me she was pregnant, but to make it even harder - she’s same number of weeks as me/I would have been. Feel like I’m going to see her enjoying her pregnancy knowing I should be in the same position Definitely ups and downs.

Other ladies who were going through this now, please do keep us posted on how you are xx

Hey @Bumble88 how are you? I completely agree with the ups and downs. I'm having a harder day today but that's maybe because I've started some talking therapy focusing on ectopic pregnancy and it so raw.

Hope you are having a better day

@Bumble88 I'm so sorry for your loss OP it's devastating enough knowing you are miscarrying but then to also lose apart of your reproductive system it's just incomprehensible... I had an ectopic last July which resulted in my left Fallopian tube being removed because of rupture... you just feel numb and seriously confused I remember just asking myself why did this happen?.. why me? I seriously do feel for you

A bit of good news though I'm now 7 weeks pregnant... pregnancy confirmed to be in the uterus also saw the babies heart flickering away last week on a scan! So there is hope definitely! I also ovulated from my right ovary which the egg then travelled through my tube so your body does find away to facilitate.

So you can definitely go on to have a lovely and healthy pregnancy and I'm so sure you will!!

Sending you so much love 💕xxx

@MoStew18 ♥️ Thank you for your message I really hope this pregnancy goes amazingly well xxx

Ahh congratulations on your pregnancy 💕 It’s so lovely to hear positive stories, I hope you’re pregnancy goes well. Thank you for your kind words.

Can only imagine how it must feel to see that little heart fluttering. Really hope all of us who are TTC get that soon enough xx

How are you feeling now? My second AF has come and so we’ll be back on the TTC wagon after this week. I’m feeling impatient already! Xx

@Bumble88 A bit impatient too. We are currently ttc but I haven't went back to using LH strips yet, i've been going on CM to plan DTD. I've had the flu this cycle so there hasn't been much action 😂 Next cycle we are going to just dtd every 2 days I read somewhere that was the best course of action 😂

Hi Ladies 👋🏼 Just thought I’d check in to see how we all are? We’ve just gone through our first month of TTC with tracking ovulation, and now we’re in the “wait and see” if AF comes phase. I hate the way it sort of consumes me, if there’s ever a quiet moment (late at night when DH is asleep, in the shower, driving etc) I just think “when..if...will it happen?” Reality is we only tried for two months and then had the ectopic, so this I kinda like our third month really. So I know I’m being impatient!! Best wishes to all xx

@bumble88 i'm currently 5+3 pregnant. I found out last week. It was an absolute shock as although we came off contraception I had been ill most of January & not up for DTD much. Really worried at this point but so far I have had no sinister symptoms. I have a scan booked for 7wks with my EPU. It has been a total whirlwind. Not 100% sure i'm ready for this but here I am. How are you? Xx

Aww whispered congratulations! I have everything crossed for you. I don’t think anyone is every ready, especially after what we’ve been through... but hopefully when it does all go to plan, we’ll be so ready for it. I’m ok thank you, I actually have a glimmer of hope myself. I took an early pregnancy test this morning and I have a BFP! I am going to wait until tomorrow and do a First Response one (today’s was just a cheaper variety) not that I’m sure that makes much difference! I’m also nervous, but I so want this and I just hope it all goes to plan xx

@Bumble88 I really hope it works out for you too how exciting! I'm 6+4 now. I have my scan at my epu on Thursday to check everything is in the right place. It has been a horrible wait, i'm pretty anxious if i'm honest! Let me know how the testing goes.

I can only imagine what the wait is like. The more the days go by the more you must be hoping this one is the one! I assume you haven’t had any symptoms? Does it feel different to the ectopic? I just “felt” like something wasn’t right before, plus of course the light bleeding. Let me know how Thursday goes, sure it’ll be fine and you can finally relax and enjoy it a little bit more xx

@Bumble88 it is so funny you say that because I felt like last time I just "knew" it wouldn't go right even before the bleeding. The whole pregnancy was off.

This time I haven't had any bleeding. I have had mild left sided pains (where my remaining tube is) but my mum who is a nurse said they are far too low to be related to an ectopic and are more likely groin pains from my body preparing to change.

Funnily enough I have had much more constipation and nausea compared to last time but my boobs haven't been as sore.

I'm trying to be positive with the differences but also thinking every pregnancy good or bad is different.

Funnily enough with my ectopic I had no pain until the day I went into surgery.

I think it’s natural to worry about the pregnancy all the way through! But yes, despite all the googling of “non scary” reasons for the bleeding, and calling the EPU three time’s (being told I just had to wait each time as I was low risk) - I just knew it wasn’t right. This time I’m cautious because it seems too good to be true, falling pregnant in our first month of trying....

I was exactly the same as you, no pain at all until I was in hospital just before surgery. But the bleeding had been on and off for a couple of weeks. I’m trying my best not to be on “knicker check” but so apprehensive every time I wipe after a wee!

I’m going to call the EPU today as they said to call as soon as I found out. Is 6 weeks the earliest they’ll scan? Keeping everything crossed for you for Thursday xx

@bumble88 I was a bit annoyed with my EPU because when I first called they basically said "You are very early call next week." And I thought hold on I was told by you to call asap!

So I called the next week and pretty much demanded an appointment was made because I had to take time off work for it. My scan is at 7 weeks when I was told to call they had said it would be at 6 weeks. But I think if you don't have any bleeding etc they like to leave it until 7 because you are more likely to see a HB.

So I called my EPU today and they have also booked me in for 7 weeks, I thought it would be 6 weeks. It’s just not very reassuring when I ruptured at 6+3.... 7 weeks just seems a bit late! I’ve thought about going for another private scan next week (that’s how the ectopic came to be found before). That said, if I haven’t any sinister symptoms, wonder if I should leave it until the 7 weeks...?

@Bumble88 I wondered about booking a private internal scan at 6 weeks. But then I thought nothing has happened to make me worry. Like you with my last ectopic I had been bleeding on and off for two weeks before being put to surgery. I was lucky I never ruptured but I had started to bleed internally so it wasn't far off. I think I would have been about 6 weeks when I had surgery. I can't be sure because my cycles were all over the shop at that point and I hadn't had a period for 40 days by the time I got a bfp.

I had an ectopic nearly 9 years ago now. I got pregnant first month of trying afterwards and although all was fine, I couldn’t let myself really believe that it would all be okay. I was about 29 weeks before I let myself believe it might be fine. My DS was born full-term and perfect. Good luck with your current pregnancy, I hope everything goes well. Eventually, years later, your ectopic pregnancy will just be a time that you look back on. It won’t dominate your head like it does when it’s just happened. Take care.

Hope your scan went well today!

@ThreeLeggedCat thank you - fingers crossed for this time and I look forward to my ectopic being a distant memory

@Bumble88 Hey I was just away to send a message. The scan went well measuring just under 7 weeks, saw the heartbeat too! Well worth the weight. I didn't really know how to react when it was a positive outcome! Keeping my fingers crossed for your scan xx