Missed miscarriage -when does it start?

[Bee1710]

Hi!
I've been going through a terrible phase. I got pregnant in October and went for my 12 week scan on Monday. The sonographer said that there is a pregnancy but in no way it is 12 weeks seems very early. He also did a vaginal ultrasound and found that everything is in place just that the embryo is 3.2mm and measures 6 weeks! The heartbeat is uncertain as he said he couldn't be too sure. I've been booked in for another scan for 9th December but i know its all over now as I started to have some pink mucus discharge while wiping just on The same night after scan.
Since then I've been having some brown mucus or discharge while wiping (sorry TMI) but my pad is clean. Last night the mucus was a bit redder. Still no bleeding. So when does it all start??
I wanted it to go naturally, afraid on what to choose for Monday if it doesn't happen by then. Have heard risks of scarring in D&C and scared of blood loss from medical management.

Any positive stories of getting pregnant again after having D&C or medical management.
I've a daughter too before this so never thought this could happen. Have been crying for days.

Hi @Bee1710. Sorry to hear what you are going through . I have just had a MMC at 9weeks. Like you I was terrified of all options and really struggled to know what to do for the best as all came with risks and none felt like the 'best' option. In the end I opted for surgery as the thought of going through a mini Labour, loosing blood, possibly seeing an embryo/baby I felt would be too traumatic. Obviously I was further along than you and there was a very visible baby on the ultrasound so your experience may be very different to what I anticipated would happen for me. I was also advised that if everything didn't pass I would need surgery anyway. This kind of swayed things for me. I read a lot about the procedure and got really worked up about the possibility of scaring. I spoke to the nurses who reassured me that this was really rare and they had never seen any cases of this. Still not completely reassured I spoke to the consultant who was going to perform the procedure and she advised me that in 5 years of doing these procedures almost daily she had only ever seen 2 cases of scarring and this was following complications. She also advised me that the procedure itself has improved greatly over recent years and they are now much more cautious of being over vigorous and they use more flexible tools which seems to have reduced the risk of scarring. I hadn't read this information anywhere online (I was told to step away from google!). Obviously the procedure is still not completely risk free but I went ahead and I feel at peace with my decision now. The recovery has been easy and I think this has helped me cope better emotionally too. Its an awful situation to find yourself in and I really don't think there is a 'right' or wrong way - I think you just have to go with what you feel most comfortable with managing. Feel free to ask me any questions if it helps, I found the support on here really useful

Oh and in relation to positive stories following d&c, obviously I don't have one myself yet but having spoken to 4 people who have also had the procedure - all went on to have successful pregnancies which also reassured me

Thank you so much @GoldenBauble!
So sorry for your loss

Im also scared of imagining myself go through a bit of labour for not the actual baby. It hurts.
That's why I'm tilting a bit towards d&c. How quick was the recovery? How long did the whole operation take?

Also if you don't want to answer this question you can completely ignore but how long did it take for your hpt to come negative and period to come back after survery?
Plus did you ttc again? Im afraid how long it'll take and for a healthy baby again.

@GoldenBauble I see youve answered my question for ttc. Sending all good luck and wishes your way

@Bee1710 I only had surgery on Monday but the recovery had been pretty smooth. I initially had some heavyish bleeding immediately after the procedure but this quickly tapered off and I've pretty much just had very light bleeding/spotting now. I've had no pain or cramps so I've felt generally quite well in myself and have to keep reminding myself to take it easy. The operation itself was really quick. Last time I looked at the clock it was around 10:20 and I was awake by 11 and immediately came round and back on the ward with my husband by 11:30.

I've been advised to wait 3 weeks to do a pregnancy test but if the bleeding has stopped this is a good sign. If there are retained products apparently the bleeding is likely to continue as your body tries to expel the tissue.

We've been told to wait one cycle before ttc. Which I'm happy with. Right now I've told my husband to not even so much as look at me 😂

@GoldenBauble haha I can understand. I'll tell my husband the same! So glad you're recovering well!
Also they've called me in on Monday to scan and ask for what i choose.. will they operate the same day or do they appoint for another day?

I was initially seen on the Tuesday and offered an appointment for Thursday or Friday but then when I had my pre-op on the Wednesday they realised I'd been on aspirin because of a blood condition I have so had to wait until the Monday. The waiting was probably the hardest bit as I just wanted it over with. Now it's done I do feel a sense of relief and hoping to move forward without there being any complications from this 🤞and looking forward to a glass of wine or two over Christmas now! (Got to cling on the the positives in these situations)

@GoldenBauble oh okay so ill get booked for another day.

I totally understand what you mean. I also want to just move forward now after all the grieving. Hope you recover soon and enjoy Christmas. Pls wish the best for me too..

Sending love and support your way. Thank you so much for helping me out

I was in your position this time last year - pink mucus and all. I had a d&c because I couldn't face going down the medical route. It was fine and I would do it again in the same circumstances. Going to sleep and waking up with it all dealt with was such a relief. I had my own room in the hospital before and after (though I was out after a couple of hours). The staff at the hospital were all lovely and kind. They gave me a sick note for two weeks off work afterwards, but actually went back early because I felt like I wanted the distraction of work.

The doctor told me to wait until after my next period before trying again. I tried to have a nice Christmas (and ate as much brie and drank as much wine as I liked) and started ttc again in the new year. I'm now typing this as my one year old tries to shove a toy frog in my face!

Be kind to yourself - it's really hard and unfair, but it will get better.

Oh, they scanned me and then asked me what I wanted to do. When I requested a d&c they did a pre-op check there and then, but the operation was a couple of days later.

Sorry - I keep noticing other questions - I had a period exactly a month after my op and started ttc after that. I got pregnant again 2 cycles after that (end of Feb).

@bumpyknuckles thank you so much.. it gives me hope that everything will be better soon.
Awww lots of love for your lo 💗

@Bee1710 I will be thinking of you and sending best wishes . The waiting really is horrible and it feels like a form of a torture but I can honestly say that even though I'm only just out of the other side it's not been anywhere near as traumatic as I thought it could be. And it's really positive to hear stories like @bumpyknuckles too

My first pregnancy ended in a D&C and I got pregnant again fairly quickly after that. That sadly also ended in a missed miscarriage so I took a while to come to terms with it and grieve. About 6 months later I was pregnant again and immediately felt very different ( morning sickness all day). I went on to have two DC.

The procedure itself is nothing to worry about. I'm not sure how they do it in the UK but where I was, I was given a sedative to keep me calm before the OP, which helped a lot. Recovery was fairly quick.

Try and distract yourself the next few days. The waiting is the worst but once you get passed this, you can begin to heal.

@mmelindor thank you for sharing your story. So glad it ended well for you 💗
Hope this time passes soon and it all goes well..

@Bee1710 :( So sorry :(
I found out at a scan at 9 weeks after browny pink spotting. Similarly to you, a follow up scan was arranged but it all happened naturally before the next scan.
From the beginning of the spotting to the miscarriage was 8 days but obviously everyone is different.
I never decided which option to choose. I think if I had another mmc, I'd choose the surgical.

Hi if it helps I had a scan on the Thursday and they booked me in the next day for surgery, my hospital only did it on fridays so felt lucky I didn't have to wait another week, think I got the last spot for the week.
Recovery was fine, minimal pain and bleeding, far easier than the emotional side of things. It felt weirdly like a relief too and started feeling a lot better about it all since then. Hospital said I can try again after 1 cycle but GP said he would advise 3 months to ensure the uterus lining is fully healthy and in best possible shape to receive a new baby. Not sure what I'll do given the mixed advice, am seeing what others have done on here, but so reassuring to hear lots of success stories of LOs since these dark days! Good luck xxx

@zoey36 thank you for replying. I'm wearing pads but there is nothing on them. Just when I wipe there is a red tinged mucus (sorry TMI). Did the same happen with you too?

@redhen85 good to hear you are recovering. Yes I've heard people try straight away. I'm also confused regarding that but will think once I'm over with this and get my period again.

Yeah that is how it started with me. It was like that for about about 5-6 days and then it started to be more until the actual miscarriage happened.

I am so sorry that you all the ladies here have experienced this. I'll tell you my story, as I'm 2 years into it now and feel like I've come out of the other side although I'm still very sad and I mourn the loss of my lost baby. Warning - I do go into detail.

I believed I was around 13 weeks pregnant, my scan had been delayed due to the Christmas period.

My scan was due on the Friday, however on the Wednesday I woke up no longer feeling pregnant, my sore boobs had disappeared and by tiny bump had shrunk. I went to the loo and I was bleeding.

I went to a&e, they and pregnancy unit said they couldn't do anything to help me until my scan on the Friday. I continued to bleed on and off until Friday. Thursday night I passed some bright red clots that looked like liver.

Friday morning I had what can only be described as contractions. They became more intense and more frequent but tailed off as I headed to the hospital for my scan.

On the Friday at the scan, my worst nightmare was confirmed, our baby had died between 8-9 weeks. What made it incredibly hard was that we saw the baby on the screen at that point.

The midwife came and spoke us through the options. I was told to come back on Monday for surgery if the "products of conception" hadn't passed.

How the hospital treated me on both occasions leaves a lot to be desired.

On Saturday morning, the contractions returned and were more powerful and intense. I suddenly felt the need to push, I went to the loo, the waters broke and I miscarried.

I bled for the the next week or so, on the Monday I returned to the hospital, this time I had an internal scan, they said I had passed most the pregnancy but there was still a bit of retained tissue. I passed this the next day.

With hindsight I would have gone back a demanded they surgical management. I spent Friday to Monday not knowing if I had the miscarriage, I didn't know what to expect. It was at this point I discovered Mumsnet and this is what kept me sane. If I had the surgical management at least the whole experience would have been over in one go.

I turned into a woman hell bent on getting pregnant, we started trying as soon as the bleeding stopped. I had one period after this and I conceived my daughter 5 weeks after the miscarriage. She is 2 years old now.

My heartfelt sympathies to all you ladies. My thoughts are with you all 💐

@salemspellman so sorry to hear what you went through. I just got some red spotting on my pad so i believe sth has started now. I'm afraid of passing clots and contractions as you said. Dont know what to think that will it be better if it waits until Monday.
So happy to hear you conceived soon and have a healthy baby

@zoey36 I just got some red spotting or discharge on the pad now. This time it's dark red. I think maybe its starting. How was it for you? Is it very painful the contractions and everything?

@Bee1710 I am thinking of you, mine was painful but it wasn't unbearable. Do you have someone with you?

@salemspellman yes my daughter who is 2 and husband and other family too.. I'm just scared of the pain as people say it's like contractions. And do you see the sac? As people say they pass the sac how do we know its a sac??