Awaiting PM after loss at 17 weeks.

[Mszvg83]

Hi ladies,

I’m waiting for the post mortem result after giving birth to my son at 16+6 five weeks ago.

Did anyone get any answers from a PM if chosen to have one conducted?

I’m a scientist (blame the poor writing on 4am and not intelligence!) and it’s my job to find answers,I’m going to struggle I think if the results are inconclusive. I feel there was a growth issue, that he was too big for his gestation. He most likely died at 16+2 yet was measuring 16+5 and as I have fertility issues and was tracking everything from ovulation and times we had sex to CM I know he couldn’t been any older than 16 when he died. I suspect something may come back on that and also after he was born they kept asking me about the trisomy testing and what my risk was.

Would like to hear your outcomes please.

And sorry in advance to everyone for your losses, we are a club that I’m sure none of us would every want to be in but I feel I am in good company x

@Slops1990 yeah I defo know what you mean with thinking about doing things the first time since you were pregnant, sometimes I still think oh I can’t do that cos I’m pregnant then have to remind myself that I’m not anymore 😞 that’s hard.

That’s good that your midwife has said about starting trying when you want to, I guess they like you to wait for results as well but I have heard that if you get pregnant in the mean time that they can rush the results through a bit quicker and obviously give you more support. I’ve been told I’d get early scans on the nhs next time to make sure everything progressing as it should so that would hopefully take some of the worry away, although I know I will still be worried sick!

It’s our first, really thought he was going to be our rainbow baby but it wasn’t to be 💙 its hard because I have no normal pregnancy to compare things to and now think I will always think the worst. What about you?

@bellesjp yes i am exactly the same. Its like when you wake up in the morning & you go to put your hand on your bump then you remember everything thats happened.

Oh really? I didnt know about rushing the results. The bereavement midwife said that they will come to the apts with me & arrange early scans & i will be consultant led so i will have weekly apts with scans aswell.

Yes i know exactly what you mean, i am going to be so anxious through any future pregnancy, i have been in other pregnancies.

Oh bless you, that is awful! That must be so horrible. This was my second pregnancy, i already have a 3 year old daughter.

@Slops1990 it’s only what I have heard on here that they can get results sooner, guess it makes sense as they’d need to know if anything to look out for.

I guess will just have to take each day as it comes when we get that bfp again, and hopefully take comfort in that losing a baby does not usually make it any more likely that it will happen again, however hard that may be.

Ah I’m so pleased you have your little girl to keep you busy, I’ve been trying to keep my mind busy, but mainly spending my time googling and on here 🙈 have had a weeks leave from work so at least I have not had to worry about working although dreading going back!

@Bellesjp yes that is all we can do!

Yes she has been a great distraction although she is defo picking up on how sad i have been.

I have just been signed off again for 2 weeks and have had 3 weeks prior to this. So i have been off since 25th August! Both my midwife & bereavement midwife have told me to take the time i need & not to rush back to work. I honestly dont think i can face it till we have had the funeral.Have your work been understanding?

I find myself on here quite alot when my daughter is at school or has gone to bed.

@Slops1990 that’s great your work has been understanding and let you take all the time you need, I totally get the bit feeling ready to go back. My work have been ok too and said I could take the week off but I’ve said I’ll go back next week. Hoping it will help keep my head busy!