Silent miscarriage, what next?

[TwittleBee]

Hi there,

So today at a private scan I was told I'm having a silent miscarriage. There's been no growth in past week. Tomorrow I'm off to the EPU and I know it's only a day away until I get told information and have questions answered. But what happens next?

I should be 8 weeks but only 6.5 on the scan.

How comes I feel so ill still? Can't keep to keep anything down and feel so shaky and tired. When will the pregnancy symptoms end? When will I start bleeding and when will that end?

Is it okay to feel awful at the idea of trying again? I did have a couple CPs already this year and I found it hard even then TTC as felt like I was replacing a baby. Is that odd? Can't explain how I feel.

Guess I just need to hear I'm normal and to know what to expect next please x

Hi Twittlebee, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! It’s so difficult no matter how early you are. I found out I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks but the baby was only measuring 9 weeks. I decided to have the EPRC procedure as I didn’t like the idea of not knowing when I would miscarry naturally. I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know that they have miscarried because pregnancy hormones are still high which it sounds like yours are if you are still feeling sick etc. This will probably take a couple of weeks to subside. They will no doubt ask you tomorrow what route you would decide to take eg miscarry naturally, medically or have an op. I don’t think it’s bad at all to have thoughts of trying again, I miscarried just over 5 weeks ago and we started as soon as I stopped bleeding.

Good luck x

Thank you so much for replying Eantonette and I'm so sorry to read about your loss too. Would they do the OP on me when I'm rather early still? I think I'd prefer that route too tbh x

TwittleBee, yes I think they would still do it. I know that some people who miscarry naturally go on to have a d&c because of tissue that’s been left behind to. They were really good with me at the hospital, I had no pain after the op just a heavy bleed that night and spotting for a week after. Physically it’s a quick recovery but emotionally it’s a long road. X

Yeah I can see this being more emotionally difficult than physical. I don't even know what to say to my DH. We are both like ghosts atm x

Really feel for you, I had a mmc at 12 weeks but baby hadn't progressed beyond 7. I had terrible sickness right up until 10 weeks and was still being sick after the miscarriage was diagnosed. It felt so unfair.

I had the ERPC surgery which gave me a bit of control and certainty over the whole thing, which I needed. The next few months were some of the hardest emotionally I've been through and DH and I had some very tough times, but we've come out of it much stronger.

Hello darling, I'm going through the exact same and have popped in to hold your hand. I was diagnosed with a MMC two days ago. I had some light bleeding and went for an emergency scan at 11+6 to be told it had stopped growing at 6+5. I've also had two very early MCs (4 weeks and 4+5), immediately prior to this within the last 6 months. I have no other children.

I still feel sick now, and have actually been sicker in the past few days than I have for ages, in my heart of hearts I know my other symptoms had lessened in the past few weeks but I think I was ignoring it.

I'm going in for my pre op consultation today and have ERPC booked for Monday. We are the being referred for testing as this is now MC number 3.

I'm devastated too, and the ghosts comment is exactly how we feel. Let family and friends look after you if you're able and just take some time to heal emotionally.

Here for you every step. We can do this. X

Thank you both for your helpful words.

toasterstrudle I think that it is the want for control which is tempting me to want a ERPC, guess I shall find out today if that is an option?

jacquejacque I am so sorry you are going though this too. Must be so hard having been #3 too. I really hope you can find some answers quickly and that there is a simple solution that leads you to having a lovely healthy and successful pregnancy soon.

I just find it hard thinking about trying again, DH and I have said I think we will wait till Feb to see how we feel. It has been a rollercoaster this past year TTC. It really is so stressful and tiring.

I’m so sorry to all on this thread

I had two missed miscarriages - one 16 years ago, 2 weeks before my wedding. Around 8 weeks, had an ERPC as wanted things to be ok at the wedding. Pregnant with DS 3 months later.

Second one was when DS was 1, discovered at 12 week scan, had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Had another ERPC and pregnant with DD 14 months later.

Be kind to yourself xx

I think, once I'm slightly less emotionally fragile, my plan is to try and focus on being as healthy as I can while we 'wait' to try again. Similarly to what you just said, I feel I need some control over it as much as I can and if I've been eating well and looking after myself I'd like to think I'd played a part in (hopefully) having a successful pregnancy.

Yeah that is how I feel, I want to be healthy and sort my own body and mind out. When we conceived this time round I was underweight due to health issue, I want to focus getting back up to a size 8 at least. Plus I want to try and see if I can come of meds as I cant help but feel like they might have contributed to our loss

Have a look at the MMC thread there is lots of advice I went through the same in May. I opted for the operation as I couldn't flush my baby down the toilet. I had to wait 8 days for a rescan it was hell and I just felt so shit.

Be kind to yourself x

Hi @Michelle0507 what is that thread called please? X

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/3245162-mmc

I hope that works it's MMC with 359 comments if not x

Had my appointment with the doctor, having the surgery to remove some time next week. Just have to have my phone on loud as they'll ring me when I can go in.

I keep thinking I've made the wrong decision for them to throw my "baby" in the bin but I know it's nothing more than some cells really as it's only a very very small fetal pole there.

@twittlebee did they not give you options to bring the cells home or have a burial etc?

@TwittleBee I had my pre-op assessment today, are they giving you one? I was given a form to sign with my choices for baby. We've opted to have the tissue sent for testing, and then a cremation at the hospital. Was a hard thing to have to choose but we feel we made the right decision. Get back in touch with them and check your choices my love xx

I thought the same as you @twittlebee that it would just go into waste but they told me the tissue would be tested for abnormalities then cremated and spread in their memorial gardens. They asked us if we wanted to be their for either part but we opted not to but it’s nice that there is somewhere for us to visit if we ever needed to. Hope all goes well x

It's being sent off for testing and then being "clinically disposed" we had the choice but the dr said as it won't be nice being handed back a bag of cells and I felt so silly not being straight thinking about it all. I mean... people have abortions or natural miscarriages and they just pass them down the loo...