What to expect

[zombie999]

I had a scan yesterday which showed baby stopped growing around 6 weeks, no heartbeat. I have to see if it happens naturally or if they need to assist.

My question is if it happens naturally when will it happen and what should I expect?

Do I need to prepare myself to see a tiny baby? Is it going to hurt? Am I supposed to just flush it down the toilet

I just want this nightmare to be over.

Please tell me your stories and please don't worry about upsetting me I don't think I could be more upset so please an graphic details please don't leave out I need to hear the cold hard truth

I'm so sorry you find yourself here @zombie999. Everyone will have a slightly different story to tell. I found the most helpful thread on here, a little further down the forum bit still on the first page is one on tips to cope with the practicalities pf miscarriage. I read that which was great for helping me prepare for what was to come. Hope it helps you too. Hope ypu have support around you

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

This is the thread.

Hi, I've had 3 miscarriages. The first two times I had a D&C. The third time, the hospital booked me in too late and I started to bleed and then eventually I had another D&C.

You won't see a baby. If you see anything, it will look like a blood clot.

What WILL happen is that everyone will be very kind to you in the Mother & Baby unit. If you have a D&C and a GA the be prepared to be mentally and physically exhausted afterwards.

for you. This is a really difficult time for you and I'm sorry for your loss. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself.

To add to the above - if the baby comes out naturally, keep a note of the time when you're bleeding. I didn't stop as not everything came out, hence the ambulance into A&E and another D&C.

Yes, it was like a very very bad period pain. Call 101 if you have any concerns during your bleed.

It's started this is it.....time to say goodbye

I had a six week miscarriage and was just like a heavy period. I've had more painful periods to be honest. Painkillers and super plus towels and you'll be fine. No baby to be seen, too small and really just a sac at that stage. It was honestly much more manageable than I thought.

Im in the same position waiting for my body to miscarry. Sorry for your loss, take care of yourself xx

@Rainbow714 Thankyou...you too. Tough times but Mother Nature knows best. I just keep wondering "why am I in this position" as if we are sat here waiting for a mother's worst fear.

I am currently sat downstairs or more like knealt on all fours in agony. I feel like I am in labour with contractions and everything passing large clots sorry if that is TMI this is horrific

It really is mothers worst fear, awful when you wait so long for that positive & it ends up this way. Aw im sorry hun, is somebody with you? Take some tablets & grab a hot water bottle. Keep thinking you will get over this, we are strong. Im still waiting for things to get started xx

@Rainbow714 it was an awful night and I just want the nightmare over with now. My body is exhausted and my eyes are so sore from crying

Aww hun i know that feeling with sore eyes, make sure youve got someone to talk to, grab a boxset & some chocolate and be easy on yourself. The worst is nearly over with, you will never fully get over this but it will get better. Xx

How are you doing?? Xx

@Rainbow714 well the pregnancy has passed through now. No mistaking the placenta and the pregnancy I wasn't aware I would be able to see so much detail. My body is just tired. Nothing a long warm bath some chocolate and an early night won't fix. Thankyou hope you are ok too x

Aw hun it is an awful thing to go through. Your over the worst, get plenty of rest snd take time to heal which ever way best is for you. Im still waiting, think im going to ring the hospital for advice on Medical Management 😥 really not what i wanted to do. X

@Rainbow714 no I really did not want to go down the medical route. I have a scan booked in Tuesday just to make sure everything has come away. My partner has been great. We are going to try again at Christmas. I'm thinking of you. X

Take it easy and be kind to yourself. You'll be very tired for at least a week. Are you able to book yourself a massage? That will help let some of the emotions out too xx

@Rainbow714 how are you x

I’m so sorry you are going through this, zombie and rainbow. I’m in the same boat, just waiting for nature to take its course. I plan to have acupuncture on Thursday, apparently it can really help with this kind of thing. I’ve had acupuncture for other things and find it very effective so I am happy to put my trust in it.

That said, I might also get some tramadol so I can just sort of zone out... Other than that, my plan is to just deal with it, accept its probably going to be horrific and just try as much as possible to take my mind to another place by listening to meditation videos, music etc. Also get lots of my fave treats lined up.... An hour after finding out I’d lost the baby I was like, Right! McDonald’s! Now! And I had a big old cheeseburger, chips and milkshake, followed by a lovely coffee and a nice big old spliff... oh the relief, after months of being so well behaved and watching absolutely everything I put in my mouth! Get your pleasure where you can, you’ve flipping earned it.

Doesn’t it just suck so bad that, having had to deal with the blow of knowing we’ve lost the baby, we then have to go through all that horrid physical stuff too! Wish the body could just reabsorb it or something! We woman have it so harsh...

Hugs and solidarity xx

Sorry to hear your awful news @pegs11 it really is a shitty thing to have to go through. Make sure you take care of yourself & heal as you need to. X

Zombie999 unfortnatly im still no closer of it happening naturally. Im booked in on Wednesday for Medical Medication to help it happen, something i really diddnt want to be doing. My heart is aching, i need this over with now so i can try and move on. Ive ssked for an ultrasound before though, to help come to turns with things. Hope your okay and are on the mend xx

Medical Management - I mean!

@Rainbow714 awwww I'm sorry. Well it's been a week now since I had the news and it just is not sinking in. I'm still very tearful and just generally feeling down. Iv got a scan tomorrow to make sure all is as it should be. Im thinking of you and hope it goes as well as possible xx

It really is the worst thing anyone can go through, its been ongoing for weeks. Endless tests and scans, told that many things i just need it be over with. The last MC i had 6 and a half years ago was nothing like this and i passed it all naturally. I feel like such a failure, im dreading tomorrow have no idea what to expect. Its so hard you will never get over it, but will get stronger. My last MC still hurts but we went on to have our beautiful daughter 3months after so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Im just hoping and preying for an healthy pregancy next time. Hope all goes okay for you tomorrow too, thinking of you at this shitty time xx

I meant we concieved our daughter 3months after...!

I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. They gave me pills. It was traumatic physically there was so so so so much more blood than i expected. I didn't see an embryo but there were some very large lumps and I did see the sac. It's a pretty horrible experience.