What not to say to someone MCarrying

[Ataloss2567]

I’m currently 99% sure I’m MC (scan this afternoon) and I know most people mean well so I don’t really mean for this thread to turn into something nasty but my god don’t people say some stupid things when your having a MC? I know they probably don’t realise and I think a lot of people don’t know what to say at all. So far I’ve had -

-was it planned?
-oh not far enough along to be too bad then?!
-after telling them I’m 99% them saying they are still holding out hope and I should stay positive (I kind of get why people say this but we have had bad news already with this pregnancy and now I have bleeding since Saturday so it’s almost certainly over)

I’m sorry if I come across as a bit of a bitch in this I just thought it might be a good place to have a bit of a rant about silly things people say. Don’t mean to offend anyone :-) xx

MIL said to me after my first MMC that she really didn’t want another grand child anyway

I’m so sorry OP

I really hated: "it just wasn't meant to be" and "these things happen for a reason". What reason? Why? Grrr!

And I had lots of "you're young enough to try again". So not the point - I was grieving for this baby.

People really just don't know what to say. Huge hugs OP - it's so rubbish.

We keep getting ‘at least you know you can get pregnant now’ - I have PCOS so was worried about fertility pre-pregnancy and we got pregnant pretty quickly once we started trying.

We’ve got a big family party coming up and my cousin and his wife have just had their rainbow baby (so very pleased for them) but we got married a month after them last year so are ‘next in line’ for kids so will probably have a lot of ‘ooh you’ll be next’ ‘are you trying’ type questions, no idea whether to smile and bite my tongue or just be honest and tell people what’s happened!

'no idea whether to smile and bite my tongue or just be honest and tell people what’s happened!'

Ultimately you need to do what you can cope best with, but I would be tempted to be honest and embarass the hell out of them. Hopefully it will be the last time they're so bloody rude and insensitive

@Ataloss So sorry for the loss

I’m so sorry you’re in this shitty situation.

When I told my ‘D’M about my MMC, she said ‘well the timing for another baby wasn’t brilliant was it, what with your brother’s wedding this summer.’

I normally have a pretty good relationship with her but will never, ever forgive her for that. When I fell pregnant again a few months later, I deliberately didn’t tell her until I was much further on and she was really arsey about it