Missed miscarriage at 12.5 weeks, feeling empty and heartbroken

[eatingthoughts]

Hello to all mums out there, just need some advise and good words.
We had our first scan yesterday and it revealed that the baby has died at 9 weeks and i was supposed to be 13 weeks today. I didn't have any bleeding, nothing, my breasts are still sore and i can still feel all the other symptoms. For 4 weeks my body couldn't realise there's something wrong going and i think it's so cruel i have no words to describe it. My husband is really my rock and is so supportive i don't know what would i do without him. I don't know if someone could help me and answer few questions for me.
What option did you choose, medicated or surgical? I'm thinking about the surgical option but I'm scared of ga.
How long did it take you to get pregnant again and was it successful pregnancy to term?
We already have a 3 year old that's why it's so hard to believe it's all happening, she's my world, the smartest girl I've ever known.
I'm sending my love and strong healthy baby dusts to all mommies who are going through the same pain, i know how raw and devastating it is, we need to stay strong somehow ❤

I think i had a panick attack yesterday, couldn't stop shaking and crying asking my husband not to have another mom for our little girl if i wouldn't wake up after surgery. I know it sounds silly but i never had any surgical procedures done and never had GA. God i just want to move on, i wish i could speed it up somehow. Going to the hospital today to do blood tests and have the scan, although i know the blob is still there as I'm not bleeding anything after the medical procedure. I can feel pressure on my cervix i think that's the sac but it just doesn't want to come out. I'm just venting as just feel like I've never had such a horrible situation in my life and feel broken to bits. I feel even worse knowing I'm not the only one like that and so many woman are going through the same or even worse pain, that makes me feel like I'm moaning for no reason, as it always could be alot worse.

You poor thing. It’s all so overwhelming. Have you spoken to any of the medical professionals honestly about how you are feeling about the GA? Maybe they could suggest something that might help.

If it reassures you at all GAs are so routine and you will be incredibly well looked after I’m sure. Like I say, I found it a very calm experience and woke up feeling like I’d had the loveliest sleep and rest. I felt like it was almost an escape from the heartache and sadness if that makes sense? And I felt so relieved it was over.

I had a similar wobble before mine, but it was absolutely fine. I think it can sometimes be part of your protective mother instinct too. Take care of yourself

itsgoingtoofast I've been thinking about asking for some calm pills or something before the surgery as i know i will be shaking and panicking. Hopefully I'll wake up alive and will be feeling something like you described as it really is going for too long now. I've grieved my biggest part, i know the sadness will always be there, but emotionally I'm ready to move on, it's just the physical part that won't let me do it. I had a scan yesterday to see how much "stuff" came out and i saw my blob lying there peacefully, i knew i can't take it any longer as I've said so many goodbye's already, he/she knows it's time to leave mommie and he/she will always be in my heart, i just need to move on for the sake of our family. Thank you for your support 🌹

I'm alive! I went to the hospital at 10 am, had my vaginal tablets to open the cervix at about 11 am, then anaesthesiologist came to see me around 12, gave all the answers and lots of support, some pills and liquid to calm me down because i was crying like a baby, all staff were brilliant and kind, then before 2.30 i was in theatre and by 3 pm i was awake amd felt like I've had the best sleep in my life, so refreshed and in a good relaxed mood. Had a little cry after because couldn't see my blob and say goodbye, but knowing it's all behind (hopefully no complications) made me feel good and positive about the situation. So to all those who are thinking about medical or surgical management - go for the surgical, it's really so quick and straightforward it's unbelievable. I didn't even feel when they gave me GA because they were injecting all sorts of meds and i just switched off, but all in all if I'll ever have to go the same route (God hope not) i wouldn't think twice and go for erpc again. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support, i will hopefully comeback here soon with some good news! Healthy and successful baby dusts to all mommies who lost their babies and are trying to conceive! We need to stay
positive and believe, it will happen one day 🌹🌹🌹