MMC at 12 wk scan, stopped growing at 9.5 wks

[appleseedpip]

I had my 12 week scan today, my first scan and also my first pregnancy. There was no heartbeat and the fetus had stopped growing at 9.5 weeks :( I had been feeling anxious too about mmc but thought I was being paranoid and worrying too much. I had no bleeding whatsoever so thought everything was going to plan but the news was devastating..

We were planning to tell our family on Christmas Day.. This whole thing has happened at a really awkward time of year and don't think I can get an appointment till the new year.. But I was wondering which procedures did other's go through if they had a MMC with a baby that stopped growing at 9.5-10weeks.. I've read elsewhere that women (majority who had lost at 5-6 weeks) that waited to MC naturally or took the pill experienced a lot of pain and bleeding.. It worries me how much more painful and bleeding it is for someone who is at 9.5-10weeks :(. I'm frightened of the operation route as I've never been under general anaesthetic but reading how much less pain and bleeding there was seems better.. I really don't know what to do :(

I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself that we were lucky to be pregnant and on our first month of TTC even if it unfortunately ended in a MMC, we know that we can be pregnant again. I also think the fetus just wasn't a healthy one to begin with and nature took it's course which if it was the case I'm greatful for.

2016 has honestly been an awful year. I'm glad to see the back of it but moving onwards and forwards a new year and a new start. Fingers crossed for us all for happy healthy pregnancies.

Hi all, sorry it's been a while!! I'm still taking each day as it comes. I'm not myself yet. Talked to DH and things are a bit better, at least talking bit with heads in the sand. We haven't really talked about trying again, only that I said I'm worried about the age gap between my youngest and wondering if it'll affect her...DH agreed, but it's going back 10 steps... This is the conversation we had before we ttc and agreed to go for it... Now we're back at square 1. I think in my heart I want a 3rd although I'm veryb close b to my youngest and scared it will affect our relationship but would go for it... But I get the vibe dh doesn't want anymore as he doesn't want to disrupt our family of 4. We dtd for the first time since the other day.... It was strange. Didn't feel right, as we didn't know whether to pull out our get protection... So moment went 😐i left it to him to decide... It sort of fizzled out then and we went to sleep. Felt rubbish. Trying to lose myself in work, healthy living and my kids... I do miss my little baby, the hope. One of the mum's at school just announced she's expecting, same week I was due 🙁 was bound to happen.

My brothers girlfriend was 2 weeks further than I was. It is very hard. I see pregnant people or people with babies and I realise what I've lost again. I do want to try again I'm just very scared of miscarrying again.

SO sorry that everyone's going through this.
We don't have time on our side (41 and 42) so we started trying again straight away. I was pregnant again within 2 months. It's been hard as I wasn't sure how to feel on the due date of my first, when I was so happy about having this baby (who is perfectly healthy so far at 28 weeks).
Honestly though, I can;t imagine taking a baby home from the hospital. I'm enjoying and making the most of every day that I'm pregnant and it feels awful to say it, like I'm tempting fate, but I still keep thinking something will go wrong.
It;s perfectly normal to feel like that kay16. I work in a school and could't go in for a month because of all of the children. And that made me feel bad, because I love working with children, just couldn't not think about the one I lost.

I've just been for my dating scan today and it showed the baby stopped growing at 9/10 weeks and had no HB.
It was a bit of a shock as we had a scan at 8.5 weeks which was fine so I don't know what happened.
I've chosen to go for an ERPC on Tuesday but it's going to be hell waiting all weekend :(

I had a 7 week scan, was shocked to hear the sad news on my 12 week scan. I do wanna try again. I think if it happens I will worry the entire time. I went in Friday night had my surgery on Monday cos nothing else worked.

Theother I’m so sorry you’re having to go through the same as us but I’m glad you’ve got the loving support of your husband and family around you. Stay strong and look after yourself.

Mulder I hope your husband is coming to an understanding with time. Glad to hear you’re doing well. I took have put the TTC free months to good use and have been busying myself with work. Feeling incredibly productive at the moment, hope it’s still the same for you too.

Kay I have the same pangs of heartache every now and then too when seeing babies or pregnant women.. but it’s getting easier to handle as each day goes on. I can’t stand the targeted adverts on the internet though.. where it’s clearly gone on my search algorithms about pregnancy and babies in the past.. Adverts for baby milk formula and pregnancy tests. Ahhh! Leave me alone! I too would like to try again after my first period but am just as scared of it possibly happening again.. I’ve talked to my husband about this and all you can do is try for now however scary it might be. We agreed if we’re unlucky enough for it to happen again we would still keep trying. Reading about some women who have MC at different stages of pregnancy up to 11 times has made me realise now is not the time to be scared. If anything, I feel stronger for what I’ve been through. I too think I’ll be racked with fear the whole of a pregnancy but it’s human nature to feel that way. Push on through and stay positive.

Hula glad you hear you’ve started talking to each other, it’s a good start and can only get easier. I can’t really give an opinion on age gaps with children as I don’t have any of my own but the gap between my sister and I is 5 years and I love her so much. I feel luckier and richer for having support from a sibling in my life. She has been my other rock through the MC besides my husband, which has only confirmed to me that I would love to have two children one day.

Hellbelle I had no idea you were pregnant. This gives me so much joy hearing your happy healthy pregnancy. Try not to let your previous MC worries get you down though I can imagine it’s easier said than done. You’ve given me hope xx

Large I’m so sorry that you’re going through this too, I hope you managed to cope these last few days and will be thinking of you on Tuesday. How are you doing at the moment? Sending you hugs x

Updates from me, I’ve been doing better as each day has gone on and normalising but still finding the socialising aspect difficult. Have managed to keep the MC/Pregnancy a secret from everyone which I’m so thankful for as I don’t want to be reminded of it or have the sympathetic awkward chat.
I’ve been feeling very productive with work and have been continuing my pregnancy vitamins though holding off on TTC until after I get my first period.. Which I’m still waiting for.. It’s been 4 weeks since my MC and I’ve heard it can take 4-6 weeks from when your HCG levels go back to zero/negative. It was only 9 days ago that I did a HPT and actually had the most questionable faintest of pregnancy lines on it. I’m hoping it went to fully negative a few days later so potentially have a good long wait ahead of me..

Is anyone else waiting for their first period too before TTC?

I'm still waiting for my period. How long do you bleed for. I'm still bleeding on and off. Sometimes heavy sometimes it red blood others it's brown. Should I be worried at all. Sorry for tmi. I had mine removed by surgery on 2nd January 2017

I had a natural MC so not sure if it'll be any comparison and bearing in mind all women are different but the midwife at the EPU told me after I had MC that having a natural MC usual also means the body sorts it self out naturally (I was actually booked in for an ERPC but MC before the date).
I carried on spotting with clots after my initial bleed/MC for a week and a half (I MC on christmas eve) and then had brown discharge which got lighter each day for another week. So from start to finish was about 2 weeks and 3 days. Keep an eye on your spotting/bleeding and if it gets worse then you should get in touch with the EPU. It's a good sign that you're spotting and getting brown discharge on and off as it sounds like you're on your way to mending/clearing everything. If you're really worried don't hesitate to contact the EPU. xx

It's heartbreaking to see so many people going through this. It does get easier with time, I have found. At the end of this month it'll be two months since my mc and I'm not crying at all really now, although my heart feels heavy.

kay, I had an ERPC and had very little bleeding afterwards. They told me I could expect it to last a while but to call them after 3 weeks if still heavy or getting dark positives on a hpt. I'd call the EPU even if just so they can put your mind at ease.

I'm so sorry for your loss large. There are no words for how heartbreaking it is. I also had a similar experience - two goods scans and then the last one with no heartbeat. Hope Tuesday goes ok.

apple, glad you're doing better. I have taken the same approach really - work, socialising and planning a holiday and other fun stuff. We have started to TTC again although it's unlikely anything will happen naturally. I also have an appointment to start planning for IVF again on Friday. I had a period 26 days post ERPC but then didnt ovulste on this cycle until day 20 as my body is still sorting itself out.

Also planning a holiday so we can get some winter sun and rejuvenate.

Hope you're all doing ok.

Hi,
Have had a very lazy weekend! Just wanting Tuesday to be over so I can move on.
My two youngest dd are 5 and 6 and are just amazing. Youngest dd has been getting away with murder and sleeping in our bed being cuddled all night they definitely keep my spirits up and I realise I can't be all that sad with them around.
Had a little brown mucous this afternoon which is the first blesdingbive had since 5 weeks so I guess my body is kicking in naturally.
Hoping to hold out though, I really don't think I want a natural mc. I'd rather just wake up and have it over.
Massive hugs to anyone else going through this hell.

kay16 I had an erpc, and bled for 7 days, and not heavily, very light spotting for 3 days near the end... I'd maybe call epu just to check, they told me I may bleed for 2 weeks, but to call them if more.

Large, I hope today went ok. I took the tablets but as soon as I knew it was over, I felt a little better. It's been nearly four weeks for me, and it seems a very long time ago now... it's still sad, and some things can make me really sad - not so much babies, but any mention of twins, and for some reason I've seen several tv/movie scenes where somebody's having an ultrasound with a nice healthy pregnancy - that was the worst because it brings back the memory of that horrible moment. And apple, you're right - the targeted advertising that reminds me of all that research I did on twin peaks and the like.

Kay, the nurse/midwife who called me to follow up last week asked if everything had cleared up, so definitely worth checking with EPU or your doctor if it's been three weeks.

Other, mulder, apple, hula - hope** you're all starting to feel better with time like I am - i think it's like most grief, for me it just gets a little less raw as the days go by.

I also managed to get a week away from home and it was such a good thing - a bit of relaxation and lots of sleeping to recharge. Definitely something to try and do if you can!