We're all here for you. I lost my baby last month, found out at the 12 week scan it had stopped growing at 8+5 and my heart broke.
I'm very lucky that my DH has been in a similar place to me and we've grieved together. But even when that's the case you still need people to lean on.
The online info from the miscarriage association are very helpful. I found that I wanted and needed as much information and detail about everything as possible to try and process it all and work out what to expect.
The EPU gave me the MA leaflet with the 3 options. I started medical management straight away, took the drugs there and came home. It didn't work and 5 days later I had an MVA at hospital. It was all over after that and I started to feel physically better after a rough few days. But the emotional pain and trauma takes a lot longer.
My DH has 2 DC but we don't have any together yet, this was my third loss. At the time I felt like my whole future had been taken away. I've never know pain like it, it took my breath away over and over again and you can expect a whole range of pretty violent feelings, they're natural and they DO lessen. I don't think the loss goes away but you learn to live with it.
I've always been a silent weeper but when they left the room at the scan I heard a sound come out of me I've ever heard befoye, I literally howled. It was raw and painful and scary and I cried like that off and on for a couple of weeks. It natural. While everyone processes things differently, the shock and unfairness of a mmc, when everything seemed so safe and positive and on track, will knock anyone for six. I adored our baby and part of me still can't believe he's gone. But over the weeks I've gone back to my normal quiet crying when I think of what's happened. It hurts but the raw awful shock of it has faded.
The physical part varies for everyone. As someone already said, you might start to miscarry naturally at home but you might not. There's an invaluable thread on here on what to expect which might be worth a look when you can face it.
You might be offered medical management and this usually works, they said it was unusual it didn't for me. Hospitals vary on whether they'll send you home to do this or keep you in. With little ones you have to look after it would be difficult to do it at home so going in might be easier. See what they say and read up on the options.
The MVA/ERPC is the quickest and it should all be over quickly afterwards but you'll need time to rest up as much as you can. My hot water bottle and massive bottle of floradix were invaluable.
My hospital has a remembrance book for all lost babies. You write their name and a date on a form and give it to them. We also signed paperwork agreeing to a nondenominational cremation of what they removed in the surgery. You can't take the ashes home or be there at ours but I liked the idea of someone saying a proper goodbye.
If the miscarriage happens at home you can line the loo with paper and catch it and then bury it in a plant pot or garden if you have one.
I know people buy jewellery to remember their losses, or something small and pretty to have in your home.
Whatever happens, do ask for any pain relief you need. There's loads they can give you so take all of it!
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Look after yourself, ask for help, here and in real life. Take time to grieve, eat and drink what you can and keep your strength up. Give yourself a break, you're in the middle of an awful experience I wouldn't wish on anyone. But you will be okay.
Sending love and strength x