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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Is this the beginning of a miscarriage?

34 replies

Josie01 · 09/09/2016 10:11

Yesterday I attended the EPU and had a scan after some small spotting. I was convinced it was fine, expecting to see a baby on the screen. Like what happened with my son.

My dates were right out. I thought I'd be 9 weeks today (approx), but the 'baby' is measuring 5 weeks.

The lady told me if I'd have said I was 5 weeks, it would have been fine.

Anyway, I'm starting to bleed. Not heavily. I have back ache and lower abdominal pain. Like I'm about to have a terrible period.

I think I know I am going to miscarry. I just don't know what to do. I don't know whether to wait for my appointment next week. Or call them today. I'm scared.

What I wouldn't give for this to not be happening. We've just been so happy these past couple of weeks. Now it's crashing down around me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 10:15

May sound ridiculous, but I feel like an 'opening' down below.

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Trulyamnearanear · 09/09/2016 10:15

I'm so sorry this is happening. Well done for getting checked out.
Go really easy on yourself. IMO there's no harm in calling, even just for advice over the phone. Did they check your bloods? If so they could do it again to see if your hcg levels are falling. That's a definitive sign.

Flowers
DanielCraigsUnderpants · 09/09/2016 10:18

Call them today, I dont know what they will do, every area is different but you can do no harm by calling for advice.

best wishes

Lapinlapin · 09/09/2016 10:21

I'm so sorry. It does sound like a 'missed miscarriage'. I had one at 11 weeks, but baby only measured 5-6 weeks.

It's a horrendous time, but you'll get through it.
Do contact your Midwife though.

Take care Flowers

TheLegendOfBeans · 09/09/2016 10:25

Call them today, I had a v v v similar experience last month.

They may not say more than just monitor the situation but please don't be afraid to call 111 if the pain gets v v v bad, you feel light headed and if you bleed heavily, soaking sanitary pads through within the hour.

I send you my best wishes, just please call them now to give them the current situation.

Big massive Flowers

Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 10:25

They didn't check my bloods, no.

I'm going to call them now. The bleeding is getting worse.

Thank you for your replies x

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Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 10:34

I've just called them, she's told me to wait. There is a sac of pregnancy there, and if it is progressing they'll see a difference next week.

I have told her that I have pain, but she said call this afternoon if there's any changes.

I know it's over. I just know it.

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Trulyamnearanear · 09/09/2016 10:43

Flowers have you seen the thread on practicalities. It helped me a lot.

DanielCraigsUnderpants · 09/09/2016 10:48

Is there anyone who can be with you to offer you some support in person OP?

Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 11:02

Ive just been reading the thread, thank you x

My oh is just finishing up in work and will be home soon.

I've took some paracetamol (calpol 6+ was all we had 🙄) and I'm rolled in a ball on the sofa. He'll be home soon x

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Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 16:52

It's really starting now 💔😔

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isitseptemberyet · 09/09/2016 17:07

So sorry x I hope the coming night is not too dreadful for you x
It helped me to think that although I was mourning what could have been (and that's totally normal x) the end of the pregnancy was natures way of saying that it wasn't viable for the pregnancy to progress. It doesn't mean that you are more likely to have the same experience again. I hope that ddnt sound heartless, it helped me at the time..
All the best x

Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 17:29

I hope it isn't too. I'm too scared to move at the minute. I can just feel an 'opening' down below and I'm bleeding. Sorry totes tmi.

No it doesn't sound heartless, because it is right. Thanks for your reply.

I just feel I got too excited too quickly. Started planning and visioning it all. I have two lovely boys, and they would have made the most amazing big brothers. I'm hurting for them too, and they didn't even know.

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Lapinlapin · 09/09/2016 21:28

How are you doing? Flowers

You didn't get excited too quickly. You were excited, it's totally normal. Everyone starts planning a future for their baby as soon as they know they are pregnant. You can't not really. And I think it's one of the hardest things about a miscarriage, that the future you'd planned is suddenly no more.

I know it's too soon for you to think about it, and everyone is different, but what helped me get over my miscarriage was to concentrate on getting pregnant again asap. You are supposed to be more fertile after a miscarriage so I believe, and I was certainly pregnant again within 2-3 months.

I was still sad about the miscarriage, but it really helped. As did having an older child. They give you a reason to get up in the morning and just keep going.

Original poster
Josie01 · 09/09/2016 23:16

I'm ok. Passing quite a lot of blood and a few lots, which I am finding quite distressing. I've been keeping topped with paracetamol so no pain as such, just uncomfortableness.

I'm just going to freshen up in the bath, I can't stand a shower, I feel like my insides are going to fall out when I stand (which is normal for me when on the first day of a period)

You're right. It's the future I've pictured has gone that I finding SO hard.

I think that's what I'll do, I now know I want another baby. I'm not done. I'd convinced myself I am for about a year, but I now know I'm not. X

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isitseptemberyet · 10/09/2016 21:53

hope your night wasn't too horrendous xx
I guess a 'positive' to come out of this experience is realising that you do want to have another baby, i'm sure you will
It's OK to grieve for this loss, i hope you've got people around you giving you lots of hugs X

BastardGoDarkly · 10/09/2016 21:57

So sorry Josie Flowers

daisydalrymple · 10/09/2016 22:12

So sorry to read this josie. I too had a mmc after two healthy pregnancies and it was such a shock to be told no heartbeat at the scan. Ds1 and dd would have been 5&3 when the baby would have been born, which had seemed such a lovely gap. Like you I'd got excited really early and had so many plans / visions in my head of how our family would have been. So easy to see that great big gap beside your two children.

I just wanted to send you a positive, I did go on to have a healthy pregnancy two years later, and ds2 arrived after an easy labour. The innocence of my first two pregnancies was gone, I was worried the same would happen again, but it was all fine.

Right now it's time to look after yourself / be looked after and take it easy if you are able. Your two boys will love the extra hugs. Very best wishes for your next happy healthy pregnancy.

Original poster
Josie01 · 10/09/2016 23:13

Thanks for your messages.

My night was ok. I got a full nights sleep and today has been fine, but emotional. I do feel slightly weak, but the blood loss has slowed down. Which has made me think that it's not over yet.

I agree, after 2 healthy pregnancies, straight forward labours, I was very naive to presume it was all ok. If I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, like you said my innocence has totally left.

I am being very looked after by my OH. Ive been camped out on the sofa watching Netflix whilst the kids are out playing with their friends and the OH is leaning the house and washing the car.

I just hope I'm over the worst.

Thanks for your replies. They have really helped. X

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DanielCraigsUnderpants · 14/09/2016 10:20

How are you doing now?

sending best wishes

BrieMonster · 14/09/2016 10:25

Hope you're ok Josie. Sending you best wishes.

Original poster
Josie01 · 14/09/2016 14:23

I'm ok, just really worn out and really not myself.

I've been signed off work for 2 weeks to give me time to heal. Haven't had my appointment, it's Friday, but I know I'm not pregnant anymore. Heartbroken.

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BrieMonster · 14/09/2016 20:34

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Look after yourself in those two weeks. And in many ways it might take longer than that to heal, emotionally for example. Hope you have lots of support to just do whatever gets you through it. Flowers

Original poster
Josie01 · 14/09/2016 21:23

Thanks Brie. My OH is being really supportive.

I feel like I took it for granted that my pregnancy would be fine, so it has knocked me for six to be honest.

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Original poster
Josie01 · 14/09/2016 21:24

The best thing I did was find this forum to be honest, it really helped me through it

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