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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

An interesting and helpful article on miscarriage

27 replies

Posey · 25/05/2004 20:26

Just been reading the spring issue of Juno magazine and they have a really good article on miscarriage.

The following was quoted, having been read at the Whittington Hospital Act of Remembrance, 2002. My miscarriage was over 3 years ago, but this still brought tear to my eyes.

"No name, no face, no date of birth,
No hour of death, no plot of earth.
You never breathed or kicked or cried
And yet, for us, you lived and died."

OP posts:
Original poster
Posey · 27/05/2004 21:32

Don't like bumping my own messages, and don't expect anyone to respond. Just wanted to make this visible again.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 27/05/2004 21:35

Mmm, brought a lump to my throat too. My mc was a very early one buteven if the baby didn't live and die, our dreams and hopes did.

tweeny · 27/05/2004 21:36

posey, this is very moving.

essbee · 27/05/2004 21:45

Message withdrawn

Mirage · 28/05/2004 20:50

Lovely poem Posey-made me cry.

The baby I lost would have been 1 year old this week.

Original poster
Posey · 29/05/2004 20:34

Thinking of you all, especially Mirage. Hope this time is not too difficult for you.

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 29/05/2004 21:35

Posey, that is beautiful, and I'm fortunate enough never to have miscarried. My heart goes out to all of you who have, especially Mirage this week.

NorfolkTurkey · 29/05/2004 23:46

How beautiful and so poignant. I have lost two myself (one at 24 weeks incidently at the Whittingdon in 2002 and the other at 26 weeks). My DD is still in the Special Care Unit at the Whittingdon having been born 10 weeks early. She is doing well and just needs to get bigger. My two losses are never far away from my thoughts and that beautiful poem has summed it up. Excuse me, must rush and get some tissue paper............

SweetFudge · 30/05/2004 00:01

Thank you for the posting, Posey. It make me shiver because it perfectly expressed the grief dh and I felt when we had our two miscarriages over the 10 months. It doesn't help when well-meaning friends try to comfort you by saying you can try again. You know you can but it was the one you lost which you wanted.

Norfolkturkey, I hope your daughter continues to grow bigger and will soon be home with you.

NorfolkTurkey · 30/05/2004 18:08

Thank you sweetfudge.

baldrick · 30/05/2004 18:20

Please can I ask a question (not trying to highjack thread at all) but just wondered if you have had a miscarriage when you do you count the last day of your period.....is it just after you have miscarried??? or when you finished your periiod?

btw....I feel for everyone who has had a miscarriage (as have recently had one)....May God bless you all

baldrick · 30/05/2004 18:22

it's a beautiful poem btw

baldrick · 30/05/2004 18:55

anyone, as m/c nearly 4 weeks ago and no sign of period

SweetFudge · 30/05/2004 19:40

Baldrick, sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

After my two miscarriges, my periods turned up more than 4 weeks later. I've put in a link here which says a period will usually turn up 6-7 weeks after a miscarriage. Hope that helps.

NorfolkTurkey · 31/05/2004 23:51

Baldrick - I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage ((((BIG HUG)))

I agree with Sweetfudge, when I had my two losses, my period turned up about 5 weeks later.

Keep well xxx

bluestar · 01/06/2004 12:43

Lovely poem and sums it all up really. My early mc was almost a year ago now yet I still think of the baby that might have been and so far have not been able to conceive again which makes it harder still. Thoughts are with anyone going through this at the moment, it's tough but you do muddle through.

Mirage · 02/06/2004 21:31

Kate&thegirls & posey -Thanks for the kind thoughts

Baldrick,I am sending you a hug,I am sorry about your recent m/c.My period arrived exactly 28 days after I lost my baby,but mine was an ectopic & surgically removed,so don't know if it makes a difference.

Norfolk Turkey-I hope that your little girl is home soon.

bluestar & sweetfudge hugs to you as well-you are right,you do muddle through,but you never forget.I remember wanting to punch the 'you can always try again' people.

zoz · 04/07/2004 07:53

Wow I love that poem.
It made me feel a mixture of emotions all at once.

I just had a m/c so I'm just trying to get my way through at the moment and I feel for everyone else here who has had a m/c too... (((hugs)))

Original poster
Posey · 05/07/2004 01:09

Zoz - how're you doing?

OP posts:
zoz · 05/07/2004 06:45

Posey, Hey I'm doing ok. Appart from turning into a monster and agruing with everyone around me hehe Whoops. I guess it's just sinking in and I'm pretty down at the mo, but I guess thats only natural.

I know it was a while ago you posted that poem but I was looking at all the old threads as I only just joined and it really got to me the poem, really sad but really sweet.

I hope you and everyone else is doing ok too...?

Original poster
Posey · 06/07/2004 00:53

You'll find so many people in the same boat, whatever you're going through. Thats whats so great about mumsnet. My miscarriage was back in 2000. It was my 2nd pregnancy and I've had another child since, so its easier now. I had good and bad patches. A VERY hard thing for me was when my due date came and no-ne, not one single friend or family member, commented in any way. Either they thought I was over it and wouldn't want reminding, or they just weren't aware of the date. Made me quite sad at the time.

Noticed you posted in the middle of the night. Are you abroard or just a nightowl?

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zoz · 06/07/2004 07:47

Yep I'm dreading the due date coming up which will be 28th December this year for me. I'm sorry you had to go through it and nobody noticed or said anything on the due date. I think I will just stay in my house that day with my hubby. I will be really upset I can tell and I won't wanna talk about it or to anyone proberly.

I live in Australia, maybe thats why the times are all weird I dunno. But the time I post this isn't the same as what comes up, It was lunch time I posted it and is now too.

Anyway thanks Posey for making me feel a bit better (((Hugs)))

Original poster
Posey · 07/07/2004 01:25

You're very welcome. Any time. I've always found someone here who can help with things, from the very serious to the quite mundane.
I take it that this would have been your ist baby?

OP posts:
nellyk · 12/07/2004 10:46

bluestar, I had a m/c at 7 weeks a few months ago and am ttc again, I know some mums who had a m/c a conceived straight after even after prev fertility probs. In a way that makes it worse cos you think why not me?? Now I just want to be pg again but sometimes just despair that it will happen anytime soon.

hana · 12/07/2004 16:12

I've been trying to find this poem since I saw it weeks ago so I'm pleased that I've found it again.
I've had 3 losses - the poem is very poignant.
With regards to dates - very few people remembered the first, a few the second and no one the third which was only a couple of weeks ago. I'll never forget the due dates of each of them.
I'm pregnant again and due just one day before one of the losses from last year. Don't know if there is anything in that or not.
And with periods - I started counting once I had had a period after the m/c had ended, usually about 5 or 6 weeks.
Thinking of you all who have recently had a m/c.
hana