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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

wave of light - anyone doing this on Thursday?

76 replies

Trooperslane · 13/10/2015 17:24

Can't link on phone, but the idea is that anyone across the world who has lost a baby lights a candle at 7pm on Thursday to remember their losses.

Anyone else doing it? I am assuming I will be drinking wine and be a snotty mess whilst dh is out - due date for DC who we lost in April would have been Friday.

I'm not big on public grief but it makes me so angry that this is such a forbidden/taboo topic.

If been much more open this time because keeping it in the other million times nearly killed me.

I'm also Irish and we believe lighting a cancel helps most stuff - I'm in no way religious but it helps me reflect.

Anyone joining me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 11:18

It's so hard to talk about, deep, but I've definitely found squashing it away (like I did the first few times) really didn't help.

Crying is good, therapeutic.

Glue flowers for you too

You've summed it up really well for me - it is losing part of yourself. x

OP posts:
AndDeepBreath · 15/10/2015 11:49

ThanksSad

stace1986 · 15/10/2015 12:34

I'll be lighting a candle for my darling boy who was born on 29.07.15 at 23 weeks 5 days. He sadly died minutes later.

So sorry for all of you also having to light a candle tonight. X

zombiemeow · 15/10/2015 12:37

Thanks for everyone on here.

We will be lighting candles for dd who we lost last year as 32 weeks

Tootsiepops · 15/10/2015 12:44

My first trimester loss seems small in comparison, but yes - I will be lighting a candle tonight. I am just coming up to 35 weeks pregnant now and I find it so hard to believe I will come out of hospital with my take home baby. I don't think the fear of loss ever leaves you.

Flowers for everyone remembering and thinking about what might have been.

gruffaloshmuffalo · 15/10/2015 17:00

I'll be lighting a candle. Our last miscarriage was 5th October 2012. I was 12 weeks exactly when found out we'd lost her. Not that we know for sure the baby was a girl, but I know.

We're very lucky to have two little boys, but my heart still pangs, and my arms ache for want of my little girl.

So the candle will be lit to remember her and the impact she had on our lives.

Flowers to all

eastegg · 15/10/2015 18:28

Hi again everybody.

have just lit a candle for my baby at the hospital chapel and am very glad I did. It was the first time I'd been there and was a bit awkward to start with but then a lovely man took me aside and was very kind.

Thinking about all your candles x

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 19:09

Love to everyone. X

wave of light - anyone doing this on Thursday?
OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 19:12

Ours too. Love to all of our precious babies and all of you amazing ladies.
Troopers your thread was so lovely I raised it on AIBU to try and raise awareness. Thank you Flowers

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 19:18

Ah badgers thank you.

So much loss, so much support.

How's everyone doing?

OP posts:
zombiemeow · 15/10/2015 19:20
Thanks
wave of light - anyone doing this on Thursday?
SaltySeaBird · 15/10/2015 19:22

Two candles burning here, feeling very emotional. I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant and wake up every day in the fear that today will be the day it ends. We've still hardly told everyone (despite the fact I have a noticeable bump).

SaltySeaBird · 15/10/2015 19:22

*anyone

HappyBeet · 15/10/2015 19:24

One for Alex and all of the earlier loss babies we never got to meet.

Thinking about everyone else lighting theirs tonight Flowers

wave of light - anyone doing this on Thursday?
NorthernChinchilla · 15/10/2015 19:45

I want to quietly mark today. It's my birthday, and also the EDD of the baby I lost earlier this year. No other fucker has remembered, not even OH.

Very lucky to have DS and DD on the way.

Flowers to you all.

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 19:49

Oh northern.

Dh is looking at me slightly strangely, giving me space but knows it was our edd tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 19:50

Just to say, there's a much busier thread started by 3littlebadgers on aibu

I won't be offended if anyone defects. Wink

Love to all X

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 20:00

Oh northern Sad love to you and all of your babies x

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 20:02

Salty Thanks.

You're past so much of the danger zone you should definitely be ok, but I totally get it.

Take care X

OP posts:
IrisPurple1 · 15/10/2015 20:09

Thank you for posting this, we were able to take part today, the very week it happened.
X

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 20:13

Iris Thanks

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 20:13

Oh iris Sad wishing you peace. Be kind to yourself my lovely x

NorthernChinchilla · 15/10/2015 20:15

Thanks. It's good to have the loss acknowledged somewhere by people; kindness of strangers and all that.
Am delighted for the strength of feeling on AIBU but feel better here, so thanks for starting this Troopers.

Original poster
Trooperslane · 15/10/2015 20:20

I'm a bit scared of AIBU, especially when fragile plus I don't like being the centre of attention - starting a thread in AIBU is the equivalent of me being on some shite reality to on a Saturday night.

(I know some people are cool with that, it's just my weirdness).

OP posts:
3littlebadgers · 15/10/2015 20:23

I put some other poems on the other thread but I thought this was lovely

Tiny footprints

These are my tiny footprints so perfect and so small,
These tiny footprints never touched the ground at all,
Not one tiny footprint for now I have wings,
These tiny footprints were made for other things,
You will hear my tiny footprints in the patter of the rain,
Gentle drops like angel tears of joy and not from pain,
You will see my tiny footprints in each butterflies lazy dance,
I'll let you know I'm with you if you give me just a chance,
You will see my tiny footprints in the rustle of the leaves,
I will whisper names into the wind and call each one that grieves,
Most of all these tiny footprints are found in mummy and daddy's heart,
Because even though im gone now,
We will never truly part.