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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Can't believe it's happening again

32 replies

DisneyMillie · 13/10/2015 00:03

Sitting in bed and can't sleep - so incredibly sad I can't even begin to describe.

I had a mmc at 9 1/2 weeks back in April although the signs were that it might be going wrong from very early on with spotting and then slow growth.

We cried, grieved, picked ourselves up and tried again and after what felt like an age (but was only 4 proper months) got pregnant again.

I should be 9 weeks tomorrow and had an early scan at 7+3 for reassurance which showed everything was exactly on track. And then tonight I found brown discharge Sad. I know it might not be the end but I'm trying to be realistic and realise it's unlikely to be good news.

I just don't know how to cope. I'm 36 in a couple of weeks and I figure this is my body saying I'm too old but I'm devastated Sad

Just needed to vent really. Will call local EPU if not in full mc tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
WiIdfire · 13/10/2015 00:17

There's every chance it's good news though, it's by no means a certainty how this will turn out. It's rubbish, isn't it, that when you've had a failed pregnancy it takes all the joy out of any others with constant worry? If the worst happens it doesnt mean you are too old or too past it.

Of course I cant say that its fine, but you can't say that it isnt either. I'll hold your hand til morning, and you have a chance to call EPU. Only thing I can suggest is to distract yourself for now.

OffMyAyersRocker · 13/10/2015 00:23

Disney Flowers

It is so difficult when this happens. I had 2 mc before dd2 and l spent a lot of her pregnancy just waiting for it to happen again.

Good luck tomorrow at the EPU.

Original poster
DisneyMillie · 13/10/2015 00:26

Thank you. I'm trying to distract myself online but keep unhelpfully googling things Blush

Doesn't help DP is snoring beside me!!

Might get up and go watch some tv. It's just nice not to feel alone

OP posts:
WiIdfire · 13/10/2015 06:40

How are you this morning?

Alfieisnoisy · 13/10/2015 06:47
Thanks

Hang in there Disney, you've had an early scan and they saw a heartbeat. This means the odds are very much in your favour that all is fine.

It's a worry though and given what you've been through before am not surprised you are really anxious.

I hope you got some sleep.

Ring the EPU this morning and am sure they will see you X

daisydalrymple · 13/10/2015 06:59

I hope it's good news at the EPU today. I do know brown blood is supposed to be a better sign than red, as its old blood rather than fresh, so is often down to implantation.

Please don't worry about your age at this stage. I had ds1 at 35, dd at 37, mmc at 40 and ds2 at 43. You're really not too old. Be thinking of you with hope x

Pobspits · 13/10/2015 07:02

I hope the epu is helpful.

I can't tell you everything is ok unfortunately but I can tell you that I had brown (and bright red) spotting in both pregnancies and it was an area of separation and cervical erosion. Babies fine.

Original poster
DisneyMillie · 13/10/2015 07:26

Thanks for all the kind thoughts. I think I finally got about an hours sleep last night.

I know I should be hopeful it's just it started with the same discharge last time. But every pregnancy is different I know so trying to be slightly positive until I know.

I'll let you all know when I do Sad

OP posts:
GoulashSoup · 13/10/2015 07:32

Hugs and handholding for today Disney. I hope the EPU are helpful and give you reassurance Flowers.

Boredofthinkingofnewnames · 13/10/2015 07:35

I had brown discharge at 9 weeks following a MMC. Was terrified. They didn't know what caused it - something to do with the placenta maybe.

Went on to successfully have twins so it's not necessarily bad news.

Good luck.

Original poster
DisneyMillie · 13/10/2015 10:15

Went to the doctors and she's booked me in tomorrow afternoon at EPU - unfortunately couldn't get in earlier. Trying to see if place I had private scan can see me today but otherwise it's a waiting game ...

OP posts:
Eminado · 13/10/2015 10:18

Sending you all the luck and good wishes in the world.

I had a mmc in July and I am still broken, i think you are so strong.

I REALLY hope you have good news.

daisydalrymple · 13/10/2015 11:11

I hope you can manage to rest until then. Have you lost any more discharge today?

BastardGoDarkly · 13/10/2015 11:24

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you love Flowers

Alfieisnoisy · 13/10/2015 11:31

Rest as much as you can today. Sending love and prayers to you and your little baby. Not forgetting your OH either as it must be stressful for him too xx

DizzyMerry · 13/10/2015 12:02

Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed for you Flowers

ToInfinity · 13/10/2015 16:17

Thinking of you op. I had a mc in May at 6 weeks. I'm now 5 weeks pregnant and flinching at every little twinge.
Like other said, the fact that everything was looking good in the scan is a good sign.
How have you been today? Any bleeding?
Let us know how it goes at the EPU.
ThanksThanksThanks

Original poster
DisneyMillie · 14/10/2015 06:59

Didn't manage to get in at the private lady yesterday as unfortunately she was away so waiting until 1:45 today. Managed to sleep last night by telling myself it will be ok even though I'm not really convinced. I know it's a good sign with the prior scan but my cramps got more painful yesterday so...

No worsening of discharge though (although it didn't last time either)

Thank you so much for all the kind words and thoughts. Somehow it really helps doesn't it to not feel so alone.

I'll keep you all posted. We're supposed to be going to Florida on Saturday but I'm guessing that won't be happening now whatever the result.

OP posts:
CanISayOfHerFace · 14/10/2015 07:03

Good luck today Flowers

Thinking of you.

LegoClone · 14/10/2015 07:26

I had a similar situation - a miscarriage followed by a pregnancy where I got brown discharge then bleeding at around the same stage of pregnancy.

Despite the fact that the "symptoms" were virtually identical to the early stages of my miscarriage the pregnancy was successful. However I bleed for two weeks and obviously spent the whole time on edge, despite two scans showing that everything was fine.

I hope that you get reassuring news today. Flowers

OffMyAyersRocker · 14/10/2015 08:16

Good luck OP Flowers

BastardGoDarkly · 14/10/2015 16:21

How did it go Millie ? I've been thinking about you today.

BumWad · 14/10/2015 16:41

Hope the news was good Flowers

Original poster
DisneyMillie · 14/10/2015 16:51

Hi all. Thanks for all the support

All went really well and looks like it will (fingers crossed) all be ok.

Had a roller coaster of a scan - the doctor told us I'd definitely lost it. In fact he said there was nothing there (and to be fair showed us that). It didn't make sense as we'd seen the baby a week and a half ago but he said I'd either miscarried without realising (errrr no!!) or it had been reabsorbed. Was so horrible to hear. Then he was doing the checking the ovary bit they do after and turned the screen away as he said he needed to check something.

He then started saying how sorry he was repeatedly. I had everything going through my head - had he noticed cancer or something (the things you think!!) but no - he'd made a mistake and the baby was totally fine! I just have a really funny shaped womb and it was hiding at the back where he couldn't see?!

Never been so relieved a medical professional was wrong and so glad he kept looking and didn't just book me in for medical management or anything Smile

Thank you so much all for all your support and I hope anyone going through the horrors of miscarriage has a happy ending very soon xxxx

OP posts:
daisydalrymple · 14/10/2015 16:53

Oh my goodness, that's wonderful news. Really hope you can relax and enjoy each stage of your pregnancy now x