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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

12 week scan showed baby died at 9w2d

49 replies

workadurka · 15/04/2015 15:05

Devastated by our scan.

Now scared of what happens next.

Have had absolutely no spotting, pain, bleeding at all. Tiredness has eased off in past week or so is only change.

My poor DH saw the baby on the screen and thought everything was ok.

I thought something was off as midwife said nothing.

Waiting for the Dr to call and discuss options for next steps.

If anyone else had this, when did you start to bleed?

Knowing my baby has died in me, waiting for something to start happening... I'm not sure I'll be able to function.

I'm so sad and so sorry for my baby.

OP posts:

MistyMeena · 16/04/2015 20:09

So sorry you're going through this ??

I had almost identical circumstances - I had an ERPC 4 days after the scan and had virtually no pain and very little bleeding. Was back at work after a couple of days.

Original poster

workadurka · 16/04/2015 20:45

This thread is helping so much. Thank you all

Currently eating everything in sight as I am a huge breakfast fan and slightly concerned how I will cope without it!

OP posts:

MsJupiter · 17/04/2015 15:34

Thinking of you worka, hope things have gone well.

SingingHinnies · 18/04/2015 04:04

Ive had 3 MC,

1st 7 weeks with pills & GA
2nd 16 weeks in a&e
3rd 7/8 weeks took pills, stayed at home

GA was pretty rough and i wouldn't take that option again, 3rd one i stayed at home and looked after 2 dc with friend on standby. Was like a bad period with cramping, didn't last long, a couple of days then was more like a normal period, was just like 1st one really but without going in for an op, i still bled heavy after op and was in more pain. They give you strong painkillers which take the edge off it which helps

2nd was worse as i was further along and had no painkillers, kept in hospital for a few days with low blood pressure

SingingHinnies · 18/04/2015 04:09

at least with GA you know whats going to happen and its over quickly, if you come home its a bit of a waiting game, hope everything went as well as it could go

Original poster

workadurka · 18/04/2015 10:27

Hi all.

The op went well with no complications and even though I have stupidly felt guilty for taking the medicalised, "easy" way out I think it was the right decision.

Minimal bleeding and pain today for which I'm very thankful. DH is being great looking after DS (who is not himself today, think he's getting chicken pox...) most of the time so I can take it easy but I know he's struggling emotionally too. We have had a stressful year so far for many reasons and we both desperately needed a bit of R&R before this all happened.

Now I'm just trying to look forward to the day when I won't cry.

I'm also wondering if we might commemorate this baby somehow. Did any of you do anything special?

I'm so sorry for all of you who have gone through similar or worse. Those who have gone through this multiple times, how difficult that must be .

OP posts:

MsJupiter · 18/04/2015 12:09

worka I am really glad it all went well. I know what you mean but it is absolutely the best thing to do.

Now 3 days on and have had some bleeding and soreness yesterday which has now passed, I felt quite down yesterday but more ok today. Just a bit disconnected and fragile.

I have a necklace with a charm on it connected to DS and after mc1 I was thinking of getting a little bead or something that will mean something just to me to add to it.

SingingHinnies · 18/04/2015 13:47

The Op isn't the easy way out, i found it harder than coming home with the tablets, with the op you haven't got the waiting where as at home your wondering when it will start, what will happen. I suffer low blood pressure so i felt worse than most people would and i don't do well with anestetic so for me coming home was a better option for me than risking being kept in as i had the dd's to care for.

I didn't do anything other than keep the scan pictures in a little album with my DD's scan photo's

If you want to do something you could plant a nice plant or bush in the garden, my friend done that. The beads a nice idea as well. It will get easier, its such a shock when you go for the scan expecting everything to be ok. The worst of it's over now but you have got to deal with the emotional side of it, seeing pregnant people, friends babies, due date etc. If you need help see your GP.

Take care of yourself op

Adventuregame · 18/04/2015 23:06

Worka we've got a plant in the garden in a pot so we could take it with is if we ever move. It's really helped me knowing that it's a memory of what's happened.

Blueskies80 · 18/04/2015 23:30

Hi worka
Glad it went ok. I had an eprc or rather surgical management of miscarriage (prefer that term) last night. I was around 11 wks with scan next wk and booking done. I went to a and e on Thursday night midnight. Very sudden heavy bleeding and soaked pad in 15/20 mins. I had to wait three hours to be seen, then on a trolley for the rest of night. (Ugh) Passed some material maybe placenta. Had a gynae remove material from cervix which helped but bleeding was terrible. Blood pressure low so went on a drip.
Finally had the op last night and although tender feel glad the heavy bleeding has stopped.
Feeling very weepy and emotional and as I lost so much blood am exhausted. Just awful and my heart goes out to all ladies who have experienced this xxx

SingingHinnies · 19/04/2015 01:53

Blueskies80 souds very similar to what happened to me with the 16wk one, passed everything on a trolley in a&e, was awful. Blood pressure plumeted and was bleeding very heavily so was put in a drip and kept in on a ward till they got my sats up. Luckily i didn't have to have an op as everything came away whilst in a&e.

SingingHinnies · 19/04/2015 01:54

I went at about 2am so the only place i could go was a&e as every where else was closed

Original poster

workadurka · 19/04/2015 08:56

Blueskies and Singing I'm so sorry, it must have been an awful wait to be seen in a&e.

How is everyone going through this doing today?

OP posts:

SingingHinnies · 19/04/2015 09:44

I still found my first MC the worst even though it wasn't the worst iyswim, I was in such shock, i think it was more the excitement for the scan then the crushing blow that there's no heartbeat then not knowing what to expect.

How are you today Worka?

Original poster

workadurka · 19/04/2015 10:00

Haven't got out of bed yet... But feeling physically fine really. Struggling with feelings of guilt. I've always had guilt issues anyway.

DS has now got chickenpox it seems so my plan to put him in nursery while I have some me-time one day this week is scuppered. I don't cope very well with being stuck in the house at the best of times so feeling a bit nervous about that. Still at least it's a good reason not to go back to work yet - I don't feel ready for that.

OP posts:

Blueskies80 · 19/04/2015 10:47

Singing. Thank you . It's a major shock when you've done booking appt and scan was goin to be next Thursday.

Blueskies80 · 19/04/2015 10:55

Oops pressed send too soon.

It would have been dc3 for us. Kids are great at making me feel better but not very rest inducing, luckily dh taking them outside.

Due to blood loss have hb of 9 so am wiped out can hardly get out of bed.

Worka my eldest just had chicken pox and e are still in incubation period for my son until wed or thurs this wk. hope he doesn't get it now as I'm too tired to deal with an ill toddler. Can you get some help with your ds? Also how long re you taking off work? I was thinking of asking to be signed off for two weeks but be non specific in reason (eg emergency gynae operation) as didnt want work to know ( especially as I only went back four weeks ago)

It's just so surreal I was pregnant this time last week and now I'm
Not :(((

SingingHinnies · 19/04/2015 11:35

Due to blood loss have hb of 9 so am wiped out can hardly get out of bed.

I know that feeling, when i was kept in DM came to see me and said do you know you are blue, your lips and face. Must have been due to the low blood pressure, yeah its horrible totally exhausted on top of everything else. I woke up through the night bleeding and there really is no where else to go apart from a&e, i went myself as OH was looking after the kids as well. I knew what was happening as had had one before but being a bit further along it was more like a labour. Its hard to rest when you have the DC to look after but at least they take your mind off it a bit.

Worka if you feel like staying in bed stay there and rest or if you want to get up and potter about do that as well, the blood loss and pain will ease up soon so if you get bored you should be able to venture out for a little walk or a sit on a bench somewhere.

It's a horrible thing to go through

SingingHinnies · 19/04/2015 11:37

And no don't go back to work until your ready, don't rush back

Blueskies80 · 20/04/2015 14:30

Thank you singing. I'm taking two weeks off work. Very tired still but managing to sit for periods now rather than have to lie down.
Aiming for getting out on Thursday when my 12 week scan would have been. Small steps.
Worka how are you getting on xxx

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 20/04/2015 15:02

I am so sorry for your loss.
I have had 2 x mmc.
Don't give up. x.x.x.

SingingHinnies · 20/04/2015 15:16

Pleased you feel a bit better Blue, good idea to get yourself out for a bit on Thursday. Thick it took about a week for me to feel better BP wise. Weathers lovely where i am as well so hopefully it stays. Yep small steps, day by day your energy will come back and it's good you have got a few weeks off work

Original poster

workadurka · 21/04/2015 13:08

Things are good (well as good as they could be really) thanks. Nearly made it through the day without crying at all yesterday, and the sun shining is making it loads easier to feel positive this week. Being in quarantine with pox ridden DS is actually quite a good excuse to do little except potter around the house - not feeling at all sociable at the moment. I hope you are feeling increasingly well.

OP posts:

juneau · 21/04/2015 18:47

Glad you're feeling okay OP. I remember feeling relieved after my ERPC that the physical part was over and I could just focus on the mental bit. For me, that meant not really talking about it very much and just processing it in my head for a month. Pottering in the sunshine is good

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