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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

MMC: Where the knicker checking is terrifying.

38 replies

halestone · 03/04/2015 07:41

Went for a scan yesterday at the EPAU. It was just meant to be a reassurance scan as i had seen the heartbeat 2 weeks ago at 7.1 weeks. However i was insistant that something felt off about this pregnancy.

Unfortunately i was right and it wasn't routine and the heartbeat had stopped and there was no activity within the foetus. A second sonographer came in and confirmed a MMC. Bloods/swabs were taken and i was given my options. I decided to come home and make a decision by next tuesday. I have had a MMC in the past and rushed into a ERPC i always regretted not thinking about it so i am giving my body chance to get use to it before i decide.

The waiting is horrible though. I am stocked up with medication, maternity pads and mats. Practically i think i would be able to deal with it if it happens before Tuesday,i have contact numbers incase i think things are going wrong. But honestly every damp feeling has me running to the toilet. Its the uncertainty thats bothering me.

I am lucky that i have my 2 year old Dd with me, she makes me smile while i want to cry. I managed 2 hours sleep last night, i kept seeing that screen with my baby on itSad

OP posts:
bakingtins · 03/04/2015 13:27

Flowers so sorry.

Original poster
halestone · 03/04/2015 14:36

Sorry my post was very self indulgent. Just waiting for it too start is playing with my mind.

OP posts:
bakingtins · 03/04/2015 19:03

Not self indulgent at all. It would be a rare person who didn't need support at such an awful time. I hope you have plenty in real life.

Original poster
halestone · 03/04/2015 20:45

Does it always start with bleeding?

I only ask because i'm cramping but i'm not sure if thats because i had abit of Diarrhoea.

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bakingtins · 04/04/2015 19:09

How are you now halestone ?

jassS · 04/04/2015 20:14

It can start with cramping, and then somebleeding may follow. But not every body realises what is going on, so even with cramping it may take quite som etime. It may not be immidiate and it may not start very quickly. Some can spot for weeks. I had cramping with mine for about a week before the heartbeat stopped, very light spotting on and off, but no sign whatsoever that it would have miscarried soon.

I feel so sorry for you! I was exactly there exactly two weeks and one day ago - 9w1d and my baby was there, measuring ahead but no heartbeat. It is so so sad and makes you doubt everything in the world. I spent first few days looking at my sons and wondering how on earth I did not kill them in utero.

I hope the physical side of this can be over for you soon.....
Did they let you to chose the natural management? I was just told that its too big for that and eprc was done next day, and second eprc for retained products this week.

sebsmummy1 · 04/04/2015 20:32

Oh halestone I'm so sorry Sad

I had a MMC 6 weeks ago at just under 12 weeks. My body had no clue at all, no spotting, lots of creamy CM so progesterone was still high, I honestly think it would have taken weeks for my body to register the pregnancy had ended. For me ERPC was the correct choice. I have also had two natural miscarriages last year and I was already spotting so let them take their course.

If you are determined to avoid surgery then it might be an idea to look into medical management to start the process off.

So sorry for your loss cx

Original poster
halestone · 04/04/2015 20:57

Bakingtins I'm doing surprisingly well today, i'm staying home incase it starts. Dp has sent DsD to his mums and Dd has just gone to bed. I just wish i knew when it was going to start, every twinge scares me. I need to stop going to the toilet to see if i'm bleeding though.

JassS and Sebsmummy i have decided to go ahead with the ERPC though, i will let the EPAU know on Tuesday when they re-open. I can't bear waiting and not knowing. Also i need to look after my Dd and Dp works nights so i suppose my control issues are in play.

I am so sorry you have all been through this. JassS i hope going back to theatre isn't to traumatic for youThanks

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Original poster
halestone · 05/04/2015 13:15

The doing surprisingly well has gone out of the window. I can't pretend its not real anymore, i have started with light stomach cramps and light bleeding. I've come to bed.

I hope you are all ok.

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jassS · 05/04/2015 14:24

I hope it will mot get nasty before you get to the erpc Tuesday. Take care of yourself and rest,rest,rest.cit is the only thing you can physically do to make it more bearable, even if mentally it wouldbe easier to keep busy....

Original poster
halestone · 05/04/2015 18:02

Will I still be allowed to have a ERPC if I have started bleeding? It is very off and on, as though I am about to get AF. The cramps are only just noticeable and I think if I wasn't symptom watching I wouldn't have noticed them. I suppose I am lucky that I have never really had period cramps before so I am not sure what to expect.

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IFinishedTheBiscuits · 05/04/2015 20:10

Oh bless you. I remember the feeling of waiting for it all to kick off... that was worse than the reality. I was absolutely terrified because was at 10 weeks and a previous m/c at 8 weeks had been quite horrible. However it was actually less painful, I took Co-codamol as soon as stronger cramping started and I think that helped too.
(I don't know about ERPC, sorry.)
Sorry you're going through this.

Original poster
halestone · 05/04/2015 20:48

Thank You Ifinished, the bleeding is increasing, cramps are about the same. Sorry you have been through this also.Thanks

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Catinajar · 06/04/2015 11:11

Yes you will be allowed an EPRC...they'll just do it sooner.
I waited 2 weeks after my baby died to have the procedure...I've just come home and it was definitely the right choice for me. Just make sure you tell them what YOU want and YOU need.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's an awful thing that I can't even begin to describe to anyone that hasn't been through it. Nothing you are feeling could be considered wrong.

If you need any help I'm happy to tell you about my experience with the surgery anytime xxx

Original poster
halestone · 06/04/2015 13:00

CatinaJar i am so sorry you have gone through this, waiting 2 weeks must of been horrific for you. How do you feel after surgery?

I can't ring the EPAU until tomorrow morning to tell them i would like an ERPC. I'm worried it will happen before i can get it done and i will have to see the baby. I suppose i am clinging onto the fact that the cramps aren't hurting to much so i may be able to go to theatre.

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Catinajar · 06/04/2015 14:04

I feel quite odd...not in much pain, though I was when I woke up from the anaesthetic (first baby so pessary had to work extra hard to open my cervix, which was obviously painful despite the anaesthetic after effects). It's good to be able to be home and know the worst is over. I didn't want to see my baby either...I'm not sure I would have coped with that.

If it starts to get worse go to a and e immediately. Tell them what is going on and that you need an EPRC asap. Luckily I don't think you'll have that situation as these things often take weeks to resolve so you might have to face some pain, but unless you are passing lots of clots and soaking a pad an hour, you probably have time, sweet.

Just to say, I just had a huge blood clot drop out of me (no pain...weird) but other than that my bleeding has all but stopped 24 hours after procedure. I can't fault it.

Luckily (I say that...it's not luck really) the baby passed when we were on holiday. I just had a routine apponrment about my thyroid last Tuesday and we just decided to do a scan to check all was well, and BAM no heartbeat. Got told the baby stopped growing the week before. I then only had to wait til Sunday for the op, but even those 5 days were terrible. Please make sure you call as soon as they open tomorrow...they may be able to get you booked in tomorrow for Wednesday or even tomorrow night. Anything you want to know about my experience please ask :) xxx

Original poster
halestone · 06/04/2015 14:18

This is my 2nd MMC but the last one was in 2007 i had an ERPC last time and had some complications when i came round. So i have totally forgot what was involved and i'm hoping there will be no complications this time.

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Marymaymay · 06/04/2015 14:46

Hi Halestone. I'm in the middle of a mc too. flipping horrible isn't it, esp when the sun is shining outside, I live by the sea and can see everyone outside having a bloody good time whilst I run to the loo every 20 mins. I'm 6 weeks and hoping they will scan me at some stage as it was fertility treatment so a chance it was twins. I also had a mmc like you last September at 11 weeks. I'd seen a hb at 7 weeks so was confident it was all fine but turns out the baby stopped growing just afterwards.

Having a DD like you helps so much, at the same time though I am desperate for her to have a sibling.

Just wanted to let you know you're not the only one out there feeling like this!

Original poster
halestone · 06/04/2015 15:12

MarymaymayThanks I am sorry your going through this again. Will the fertility clinic scan you? If not can you ring your local EPAU, mine have been amazing with me.

I feel the same as you, this weekend was suppose to go so different. Loads of quality time with Dd instead my mum has taken her out and i'm lay on my couch watching rubbish TV. And hating going to the toilet and seeing the blood which makes me cry. That should of been my baby i saw its heartbeatSad

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Marymaymay · 06/04/2015 16:25

I'm feeling exactly the same, watching Poldark whilst the sun is shining and dd is out with my mum and her cousins. I guess we both have to be really thankful for what we do have already and that we know we can get pg which is half the battle won already.

I'm going to call the fertility clinic tomorro morning and see what they suggest, hopefully get a scan over the next couple of days.

Take care of yourself, lots of hugs with Dd, best medicine ever!

Original poster
halestone · 07/04/2015 08:54

Marymaymay did you manage to get through to the fertility clinic?

Catinjar, how are you feeling today?

My bleeding is constant but not too heavy, still no cramps. I have spoken to the EPAU and they are arranging the surgery and will get back to me with a time and date. It feels like a huge relief that it is being arranged.

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Marymaymay · 07/04/2015 16:58

Spoke to them today and am getting a scan on Thursday. They said it's not definitely a mc but I think I know in my heart it is. The good thing is that the clinic say I can have treatment next month if I get the all clear which is a real positive to focus on. I'm feeling more positive today, I know it was a lot harder last time when I was further along like you were Hales, I had had so much time to get used to being pg and had planned so much. Baby would have been due 10 days ago...

Original poster
halestone · 07/04/2015 18:48

I know what you mean i had told the EPAU that i had a bad feeling still despite seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks. But stupidly i still let myself get excited once i had seen the heartbeat. I am a believer in trusting instincts. I hope your instincts are wrong this time though and that your scan goes well.

Well i can't have the ERPC till Thursday Afternoon. I am gutted i feel that, that will be too late and i shall have already passed my baby by thenSad

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Marymaymay · 07/04/2015 20:02

I don't think it's ever stupid to get excited once you see the hb, the chance of mc after seeing it is very low - there's only about 2% difference from your scan at 7 wks to the one at 12 weeks. I know that this time round I definitely didn't get as excited once I got the BFP as the previous mc had kind of dulled my response to it. I'm quite grateful to it for that now really though at the time it made me cross.

I passed the baby naturally last time Hales which I was glad about as I avoided an anaesthetic and I think it helped me get back on my feet. I think it also helped me to process it a bit better. Everyone is different but it wasn't terrifying - more of a relief really.

I did see it as well - I didn't really have a choice - but I also felt that it helped. I could see how tiny it was and that it wasn't what I had imagined which helped me to get some perspective on it. Yet again though, everyone is different.

The hospital kindly cremated the remains for me and I scattered them in the woods where my dad's ashes are. I like the thought of the circle of life and seeing the trees around help me to feel like things happened for a reason beyond what I'm capable of understanding. I found this gave me a bit of peace at a very difficult time.

I hope Thursday goes as well as it can do and that you're stocked up on crappy magazines and box sets to get you through the weekend.

Original poster
halestone · 07/04/2015 21:03

I read that once you've seen a Heartbeat that the chance of miscarriage drops to 1% I was unfortunately that 1% for a 2nd time.

I know i will deal with it if i have to do it naturally but its daunting. I will definitely take comfort in what you've said though. I keep imagining seeing a fully formed foetus if its not like i imagine it will be easier to process.

My friend works on the ward i am going to on Thursday and has been in touch to see how i am which was lovely of her. It was also nice to clarify that Dp wouldn't have to leave.

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