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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Waiting for a natural miscarriage

82 replies

Cinnamon84 · 26/01/2015 10:44

Have just come home from a scan to be told the sac had started to shrink and so this pregnancy wouldn't continue. I've been spotting brown blood for the last 4 or so days... Will this carry on or will there eventually be a lot more blood? I would have been about 7 weeks and looks like the shrinking started to happen between now and 17th jan when I had my first scan due to suspected ectopic. I'm not sure if I need to be at home and wait for it to get worse or if I should be getting back to my normal routine. Think I am a bit numb/in shock at the moment so not sure I'm thinking straight.
I know there's a lot of people on here who are going through far worse and found out further into the pregnancy but wondered if anyone could offer any advice?

OP posts:
PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 22:58

Daised I hope you are telling a little better now. Even though passing the sac was horrible, I felt like I had turned a small corner afterwards.

Have your tried plugging your phone into a laptop to retrieve the data?

Thanks
daisedandconfused · 30/01/2015 09:35

Hi Gin, sorry you are going through this too. I agree, I think losing the sac has allowed me to be sure, if that makes any sense, and now I can move forward. I knew what was happening but with the hospital wanting me back in a week I was still getting myself wound up in paranoid little knots. Now I know for sure I can relax a bit and start recovering.

I think the hardest part is not knowing what comes next physically. I am still bleeding at about the same rate and have not had any really heavy bleeds so I keep expecting some awful gushing tidal wave to come.

How are you feeling today?

Tried the laptop with the phone but no joy. Going for a 'don't sweat the small stuff' approach though.

xx

PassTheGinBottle · 30/01/2015 09:45

It's good that you feel you can move on a bit. It's so hard though isn't it.

I'm ok today. Had big cramps (contractions) this morning which I knew precedes a big bleed, which duly followed half an hour later. After my scan yesterday the nurse said there was a bit of tissue left which was why I was still bleeding and cramping. So I'm hoping now that it might be over. She says...

Anyway I've found doing 'normal' things helps. I've just dropped DS at school and I'm going to try and pop into town and treat myself to something nice later.

What are you lovely ladies up to today? cinammon how are you doing sweetheart?

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 30/01/2015 09:59

Morning gin thanks for asking. I'm ok I think. Trying to do some normal things today too, just did some yoga and will have a bath, tidy up and maybe catch up on some work. Feel like I'm getting stuck in a bit of a rut just sitting at home feeling sad and beginning to feel anxious at the thought of going to work, seeing friends, family etc. most times I think I'm over this emotionally then it catches up with me, some of my friends are due soon/had or having babies, no one else has had a mc, this was my first pregnancy and I feel ashamed and like I've failed. Also I really want to try again soon but I have a big holiday with dp coming up in May with a long haul and internal flights and I'm not sure it's worth the risk.

Sorry for the brain dump! Dp is back at work and Im letting it all get to me right now. Also I'm anxious my next scan on Monday will show that nothing has passed and I've still got it coming.

Hope you're feeling a bit more normal today anyway gin...think I may do the same and pop into town later and buy something nice for myself.

I hope everyone on this thread is doing ok today... I keep thinking how this will all be a distant memory in a months time xx

OP posts:
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 30/01/2015 10:48

cinnamon, you might be surprised if you talk to people just how many have had mc. Lots of people will share their stories with you.
You didn't fail. We evolved this weway and is actually your body being really clever and ensuring that the fittest survive. Your body is doing the right thing, but I know it doesn't feel like that right now.
Totally normal to feel cut off from the real world. You're still in limbo acme it is like being in a bubble where you can see that the world is so turning but it looks foggy and you can't be a part of it right now.
Just stay safe in the bubble for now and don't think about reintegration unless you really want to. When the time comes, you will settle back in slowly and heal.

daisedandconfused · 30/01/2015 11:03

Oh Cinnamon, sorry to hear how you are feeling. It is really tough. Gin is right. Please remember that none of this is anyone's fault and you definitely are not a failure. Massive hugs. xx

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 30/01/2015 11:32

Thank you so much for your advice and support. Guybrush I know you are right, and sometimes when i think about it it's basically like my period has come. I only came off the pill at the end of nov so it's just been a crazy couple of weeks. I just have moments when I feel like I won't be able to cope with normality but I know once I'm facing it it will all be fine.
What would i do without mumsnet! xx

OP posts:
brickiemum2 · 30/01/2015 12:21

Hugs cinnamon and everyone else. I've updated on my thread so I won't repeat.
As said above, hopefully this will all be a distant memory soon.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 30/01/2015 19:16

Warning: tmi: I seem to have just passed something, had really bad cramps all day, went to the toilet and something dropped out of me. I've just freaked out a bit as the nurse yesterday told me the sac was 14mm but this thing was huge in comparison, it was about 4 inches long and kind of red and greyish tissuey solid matter. I'm sorry I know this is so graphic but I expecting something really small and this wasn't not what I was expecting. Is this what the sac looks like? I'm worried something else has come out

OP posts:
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 30/01/2015 19:47

That sounds like the sac cinnamon. Sounds similar to what I experienced. That's why it always surprises me when medical professionals advise that you might not notice. It can be a real shock. Much more solid that you expect. A real shock and you might remember that moment for a while.

Are you ok? Did you feel pain? Are you bleeding?

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 30/01/2015 19:49

Would be worth you having a scan soon so check that is all gone. Keep an eye on bleeding now. Don't hesitate to call epu and describe exactly what happened.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 30/01/2015 20:11

Hi guybrush I've just been explaining to dp how amazing you've been. I really appreciate all of your advise and help through through this whole horrid experience. Thank you so much xx

Dp got home a couple of minutes after it came out so I showed him, he was freaked out too as we weren't expecting something so big and solid, this was not the "heavy period" and "tiny sac" they told me to expect! I called epu, nurse thinks it sounds like the sac but as I have a scan booked for Monday she said we could bring it in to check. It felt a bit weird and morbid but we've kept it to bring in for them :(

Pain has pretty much gone now, bleeding is quite light for now. The nurse has said to call again if pain or bleeding gets any worse.

Just poured my first glass of wine since my bpf. Hoping it's almost over and I can start to move on. I really do appreciate your support xxx

OP posts:
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 30/01/2015 20:38

Fingers crossed that's the worst of it over for you.
Don't be upset if they say there is some tissue left. They should measure it and be able to decide whether any further treatment is needed.

No thanks necessary! It's such a tough thing to go through and it can feel like you're all alone. You're not though.

brickiemum2 · 30/01/2015 21:06

Healing hugs cinnamon. With any luck (huh, what's luck got to do with it? Luck can kiss my ass this week) you are now over the worst of the physical pain and your body can recuperate. Xxx

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 30/01/2015 22:01

Thanks brickie, hope you're feeling ok and starting to heal.
I'm back to drinking wine and smoking, starting to feel a bit more normal xx

OP posts:
brickiemum2 · 31/01/2015 07:07

Until I have this surgery I don't feel I can really start to get over it, as long as it's all still inside me it just doesn't feel real Sad
Hopefully hormone results on Tuesday will add evidence that it's not appropriate to wait a further two weeks to rescan and THEN book surgery. Once it's all done I can concentrate on getting back on the ttc bus.

PassTheGinBottle · 31/01/2015 11:02

I'm glad that part is over for you cinnamon. Passing the sac is horrible, but for me meant that the worst was over. How are you feeling today?

I too had a repeat scan to check all was clear, and they confirmed it was but with a few bits of tissue remaining. I'm still in pain and bleeding heavily as my body tries to get rid of that. The joy continues... Hmm

Did you enjoy your wine?

Brickie I have replied on your other thread lovely. Flowers

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 04/02/2015 12:16

Hi everyone

Hope you are all recovering from a horrible week and starting to feel a bit better. I've been off mumsnet for a while as there is still some confusion around my miscarriage... Had a follow up scan on Monday where everything was looking fine, empty uterus, healthy ovaries, then after a while the sonographer had to call someone else in as she spotted some liquid that looked odd, they mentioned something about a pouch of Douglas though I'm not sure if they confirmed that was where it was. Basically there is an area with some liquid (likely to be blood) - the doctor said sometimes this happens in menstruation as blood can over flow out of the Fallopian tubes, and eventually gets absorbed into the rest of the blood stream. I realised this might have something to do with the yoga I did on Friday (a couple of hrs before I passed the sac) where I did quite a few upside poses and shoulder stands. Had a blood test, doctor called yesterday to say they still can't discharge me as hcg levels were high. I've also had weird feelings in my stomach and a mild pressure type of pain in my bum when I sit down/go to the toilet. As well as this I've had very mild pain (kind of pulled muscle pain) around where I think my right ovary would be. I've been for a second blood test today which I'm praying will show hcg levels have gone down, otherwise doctor thinks it could be ectopic... I'm not really sure what to do now. Ectopic was originally ruled out on 17th jan but not I'm worried there might have been 2 fertilised eggs- one I've passed from my uterus, and one is attached to my stomach or something....
Sorry for brain dump. I'm not sure if anyone is even reading this thread anymore. Would appreciate any support/positive stories while I have to wait for blood results tomorrow. xxx

OP posts:
brickiemum2 · 04/02/2015 12:27

No related stories but hand holding. Hopefully your levels are dropping and it is as simple as displaced blood from being upside down.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 04/02/2015 12:28

Thanks brickie, how are things with you?

OP posts:
brickiemum2 · 04/02/2015 12:43

Hormone levels are starting to drop now but still very high. Repeat scan tomorrow then probably booking erpc. Still very tearful.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 04/02/2015 13:04

Oh no, this waiting around is shit isn't it? Can't concentrate on TV, don't want to lie down too much in case being upright helps with getting rid of anything that shouldn't be there.
Good luck with your scan tomorrow.
I'm hoping all this ends tomorrow. I've been bleeding on and off for 3 weeks now, think I can handle that, just so scared in case results show that I need to have surgery for an ectopic :(

OP posts:
daisedandconfused · 04/02/2015 15:26

Sorry it is still on going for you both Cinnamon and Brickie. I have just had my follow up scan and all gone bar a small section of 'thickening' but it is only about 1cm so they said it will come out with next AF. Good news really but very tearful today. Snapped at DP, who then had a big go at me and I have been crying ever since. Off to take DD to the docs at 4 so hopefully pull myself together.

My sister is exactly one week less pregnant than I would have been and she went for early scan today (she has had a previous MC so was worried) and all is fine and well. I am really pleased for her and genuinely happy but I think it has just hammered home what I have lost. I haven't cried since last tuesday night, before first scan and now it has all caught up with me.

Sorry for big long rant.

Hugs to all xxx

daisedandconfused · 04/02/2015 15:29

They have also said I have to wait until next AF to start ttc again which is a real blow as they say this can take six weeks to come. I had been banking on starting this week after the scan as bleeding all but stopped. Think the prospect of ttc again was keeping me going so really disappointed x

brickiemum2 · 04/02/2015 16:25

After my last mc I just ttc straight away. I ov'd 2 weeks after mc and got pregnant. She's 5.5 years old now Grin