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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Waiting for a natural miscarriage

82 replies

Cinnamon84 · 26/01/2015 10:44

Have just come home from a scan to be told the sac had started to shrink and so this pregnancy wouldn't continue. I've been spotting brown blood for the last 4 or so days... Will this carry on or will there eventually be a lot more blood? I would have been about 7 weeks and looks like the shrinking started to happen between now and 17th jan when I had my first scan due to suspected ectopic. I'm not sure if I need to be at home and wait for it to get worse or if I should be getting back to my normal routine. Think I am a bit numb/in shock at the moment so not sure I'm thinking straight.
I know there's a lot of people on here who are going through far worse and found out further into the pregnancy but wondered if anyone could offer any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 28/01/2015 09:20

Im so sorry to hear what you've been through calico :( Thank you for being so open and sharing with us.

I'm scared about it happening at work, we have a big open plan office and I don't want a big drama. A couple of weeks ago I started bleeding bright red when I went to the toilet, luckily it was lunchtime so there weren't many people around but I had a panic attack as I was almost passing out from the pain, and some colleagues had to drive me to a&e. I think that's why I just want to stay cooped up at home. Though now I feel like nothing is happening, I will prob go back to work next week and it will happen then anyway.

Gin I'm back to the tiniest amount of spotting and stomach cramps. At least if I was bleeding now I would know that what's supposed to be happening is happening! :(

How much time is reasonable to take off work? The doctor has signed me off for 2 weeks, part of me thinks I should stay at home the whole time but the other guilty half of me thinks I should go back next week instead of waiting forever for a "heavy period" (as the dr described it) to start.

OP posts:
PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 09:57

Cinnamon darling please do not go back to work until this is all over. Mentally and physically you must take all the time you need. I'm a self-confessed workaholic and I'm not going back until I'm bloody well ready...two weeks minimum. You need time to heal.

I think some people get a 'heavy period' but others get a really significant blood flow which makes it difficult to leave the bathroom. You don't want that happening at work Flowers

I had a horrible dream last night. Dreamt I passed the sac and could see the baby. It was very vivid. Awful. DH has to work today so I am moping on the sofa MN'ing and watching the Walking Dead Hmm

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 28/01/2015 10:06

It is reasonable to stay off work for precisely as long as you need.
Some people do experience it like a heavy period. I didn't. Mine was like labour (I have done labour before). I had to breathe and rock and moan through extremely painful contractions, increasing in intensity over a couple of hours. I then had to spend about an hour on the loo. Please don't go to work. It didn't happen suddenly for me, it increased gradually over a day until it was like proper labour but because you don't know what it will be like, you should prepare by staying at home.
Plus this isn't just a physical experience and you have to grieve as well. Thanks Thanks

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 28/01/2015 10:08

A doctor told me I could go back to work and it would be like a heavy period too. I think this is really irresponsible - it is impossible to predict what it will be like.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 28/01/2015 10:23

Ok thank you, maybe I need to put work out of my head for a bit. It's not even like I have a high paid/ high responsibility job, I think I am more concerned about questions when I'm back about why I was off for so long, do you feel better now, is everything ok, etc.

I feel like just lying in bed today but worry that I should be up and about to try and get things moving... Or does it just come out regardless? I know this is probably a ridiculous question but I have no idea!

Thanks for your help with all this... My partner is at work and I think I'm going a bit crazy today xx

OP posts:
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 28/01/2015 11:12

I would try to keep active. Maybe go for a walk? Then cook something nice?

PassTheGinBottle · 28/01/2015 13:46

I passed the sac a couple of hours ago. I am so relieved.

How are you feeling cinnamon? Thanks

I will say I had a long, hot bath an hour before it appeared. I'm not sure if this helped move things along?

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 28/01/2015 15:08

Ah gin that must be such a relief. I hope you're ok now, at least you know youre past the worst of it I guess.

I'm still the same. Have been moping about a lot today, might go on a little walk in a bit. Will also try a bath later as I'm just feeling fed up today and want this to be over. Think I'm going to call the gynae clinic later or tomorrow and ask to be booked in for Erpc :(

OP posts:
PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 07:08

How are you feeling today cinnamon? Flowers

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 29/01/2015 12:04

I'm ok thanks gin. Dp is home with me today so it's nice to have some company, called the clinic earlier to ask them what my options are and they went through everything with me- I wasn't really in a good state to understand everything when I went in on Monday so it helped to go through it again. They think I wasn't offered Erpc as the sac is so tiny (14mm), and as I've been on and off cramping and bleeding (nothing heavy) I might have passed something without realising. The person I spoke to is going to double check with a consultant that I shouldn't need erpc. If I've passed it gradually that's fine... so tired of anticipating something big and messy and painful, just want to know if it's over!

Thanks for your support through all of this. How are you feeling today?

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PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 12:19

Glad you're feeling ok sweetheart. And you have lovely DP looking after you.

I'm sorry it's taking so long. Can you request a scan to see how things are progressing? I know what you mean about wanting to know it's over.

I had my scan this morning and they confirmed the sac is gone, but there is still some tissue remaining which explains why I'm still bleeding and cramping. Hopefully it should be over soon, although they said I could bleed for up to two weeks. TWO FUCKING WEEKS?!? I am SO sick of blood! Sad I have to take a pregnancy test in two weeks and if it's negative then it's all finished.

Thank you for your support too, it's been lovely being able to chat to you x

Flowers
Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 29/01/2015 12:41

Yeah I've forgotten what it feels like to not wear a giant sanitary pad, sit and sleep on towels (in case anything does happen) and have a hot water bottle attached to my belly. I felt like watching the walking dead yesterday too after I saw your message but wasn't sure I could handle the blood :O
Just think in a months time we should both be completely over this! x

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brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 14:17

Hi cinnamon. Unfortunately I'm joining you here from the September threads. Same situation Sad

PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 14:27

Brickie I'm so sorry. I was September too (was Flying Spud).

brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 14:35

Hi guys. Wish we were speaking in better circumstances. I think you might actually have to pass the gin.
I haven't even got the energy to nc. I've had no cramping, no spotting, nothing. I've still got the strongest preg symptoms I've had in my life. I really am in such shock. The mw said she can't legally call it a mc for another two weeks until she scans again as I might have my dates very very wrong. I don't, I'm 7.3 and there is no fetal pole at all (unless it happens naturally) How can I go about feeling like this for another 3 weeks potentially until they'll do something?

PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 14:49

Oh Brickie.

Two weeks is a long time. Can you insist on one week? I think that is the policy at some places - it is in my hospital.

Have you got someone looking after you? How come you had an early scan? X

brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 14:55

She said we had to give it two weeks to see if baby had "apperared" by then. She did point out that she technically has to do this...she was clear that there was no hope. In order for her to see nothing at all I would have to be sub 4 weeks and I got my bfp over 4 weeks ago. The sac is also the correct size for 7 weeks so it's just a case of my body hasn't noticed. Makes me feel like I've been bonding with nothing all these weeks. I feel such a fool and so so angry with my body.
I had early scan because I self referred due to previous mc and pih with my successful pregnancies. In all honesty I just wanted a sneaky chance to meet my baby. That backfired. Probably serves me bloody right Sad

PassTheGinBottle · 29/01/2015 15:01

Oh sweetheart. How awful.

This is going to sound awful, and I'm sorry, but as you're not too far on it should make the next few weeks slightly 'easier'. I'm sorry to put it like that. Just trying to find some positives in a very dark time. It's so shit, isn't it.

I'm sure if you could get them to scan in a week they could confirm it for you then rather than making you wait?

In the mean time, have a hug and a hand hold x Flowers Cinammon is lovely - she will be along with more of the same for you soon I'm sure.

brickiemum2 · 29/01/2015 15:16

I've mc early before so I know I can cope with that, in fact I passed the sac etc during an internal scan last time. It's this limbo I can't cope with. I feel like my body is a total traitor. I'm going to see my lovely gp tomorrow for blood test and advice. In the meantime I'm going to punish my treacherous body with neat gin.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 29/01/2015 16:46

Hi brickie, so sorry to see you here, this whole situation is completely shit. I agree that the not knowing whats happening and the waiting around makes it so much more difficult and I can't imagine how tough it must be to be told that you have to come back in 2 weeks to even confirm. :(
I feel like punishing my body too but have just been too tired to drink. I've bought some wine for tonight(first time I left the house since Monday), kind of want to smoke but the smell of it makes me want to puke so maybe not.
We're here for you anyway through this shitty time xx

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daisedandconfused · 29/01/2015 17:51

Hi guys I am in the same situation too. Should be 8 weeks today but scan yesterday showed 5wks. A fetal pole was found and as with you Brickie I have to go back in a week in case I have dates wrong as a heartbeat can't be seen at 5wks. I don't have my dates that wrong and have been bleeding since Sunday. Bleeding started light (just when I wiped) but is now a steady stream. Sorry to hear that you guys are going through this too. Shit times.

gingerbreadmam · 29/01/2015 18:11

ladies im so sorry you are all going through this. i went through the same thing november last year.

the important things i would say is dont bank on it being just a heavy period, if you feel like something is wrong contact your epu asap, research the procedures and push for what you want.

i was advised to go natural, i had to wait 2 wks for 2nd scan too. i then waited another 2 wks for it to happen natural. it didnt so then i had medical management. that failed i then bled very heavily on 3 seperate occasions before having emergemncy erpc.

id be interested to hear where in the country you are cinammon seems its different everywhere.

i am thinking of u all this is such a traumatic time. i can share if anyone needs any further info.

Original poster
Cinnamon84 · 29/01/2015 21:15

Sorry you've ended up here daised, and sorry you've got to wait another week before anything is confirmed.

I keep thinking I'm feeling better and then crying about something, feeling pretty blue this evening..

Ginger- I'm in Oxfordshire. I think I actually agree with the whole process so far, if what's left is tiny I would rather try and wait for it naturally than have surgery.. Though I hope it doesn't take 4 weeks. I've got another scan on Monday to see if there's anything remaining, if there is I may need to go down the MM route too, which I really don't want to do. Just tired and fed up of this whole situation now tbh xx

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 29/01/2015 21:58

i think mm be more successful if do it in hospital. i dont know why but i was given it to do at home.

if id have done it at hospital they could have checked and it would have hopefully saved me from all the horrible stuff that followed. the mm in itself wasnt too bad i did use the painkillers though not because it hurt so bad but more because it hurt so long if that makes sense.

i notice your sack was small hopefully you have passed it, mine was 4cm if i remember rightly.

daisedandconfused · 29/01/2015 22:45

Thanks Cinnamon, sorry you are feeling down. DH dropped my phone and broke it tonight. Lost photos and contacts. Nearly pushed me over the edge but I pulled it back (not sure how).

I think I have just passed the sack (not really sure what it is supposed to be like but it was different to anything I have ever seen). I followed gin's lead and took a hot bath. Hugs all round. x