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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Baby would have been due this week :(

10 replies

just1moretime · 02/10/2014 15:09

Hi I had a miscarriage in March. I've actually been fairly OK after the initial shock. The pregnancy was unexpected and my DH didn't want to try again after it happened. I was devastated at the time but for the sake of my marriage and my existing 2 children I accepted his decision. I am 42 now anyway so pushing it. Anyway, it has suddenly hit me and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it. I was due at the same time as Holly Willoughby and I remember saying to my DH ' oh look Holly Willoughby is having her third too!' I have developed a stupid and irrational dislike for her. I can't see her name or her picture and she is everywhere. IShe was barely on my radar until she had her baby. I know I sound like a moronic celebrity stalker but I'm not. I don't really know why I'm rambling on. I just don't want to dredge the whole thing up again IRL as I seem to be the only one who remembers.

OP posts:

Rosedust · 02/10/2014 15:20

So sorry you're going through this Milestones are hard enough without this too x

impatientlywaiting14 · 02/10/2014 23:38

Hi just1moretime

I remember you from other threads xx I'm so sorry your feeling so sad this must be a really tough emotional time. I used to love holly, now In my head its "that bloody holly willoughby" . when i have seen her recently on tv I have wanted to to turn the channel over. I know its irrational as i generally do like her but having miscarried end of may, this current pregnancy seems a lot more in my face.

It must be so much harder for you though knowing you were due at the same time and to top that off your husband does not want another so another possible pregnancy is not on the cards xxx

I started the thread "Anyone else ever feel like they want to just crawl under a rock?" your welcome to come and join us . I was also referd to another thread which might help aswell

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2140814-emotions-after-miscarriage

Hugssss XXX

Original poster

just1moretime · 03/10/2014 13:29

Thanks! Glad I'm not mad! There are loads of celeb babies that I m not that bothered about- just hers! I'll have a look at the other threads. When I had the miscarriage, my dh got me a little heart trinket. I put it on a chain and I feel better today weirdly. Maybe because it's something tangible.

OP posts:

impatientlywaiting14 · 03/10/2014 18:42

Your welcome, no your not mad xx I haven't actually admitted that to anyone in R.L regarding Holly . That's really sweet of Him. I was advised to do something to mark my loss. I don't have a garden sadly or I would have planted something, most likely the flower of the month my baby would have been due, im into that type of thing. I brought some trinkets and also wrote a message on the forget-me-not meadow which is on the miscarriage association site. Its a great site, you have a forum on there although I find this forum very helpful.

They also have a helpline which I have called at times I felt I was really low and felt I wasn't coping. I have phoned three times , each time have I spoke to someone different and they all been so kind and helpful, I really cant fault them.

Are you feeling any better today? XX

Chottie · 03/10/2014 18:46

Hello, just to say you are not being unreasonable at all. From personable experience I can understand your feelings. I hope today is a better day for you

ipswichwitch · 03/10/2014 19:08

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know you said you feel like you can't tell anyone IRL but hopefully here at least you don't feel alone. We had a mmc and baby was due the same time as Kate and William's baby George. Every time I saw (yet more) media coverage I wanted to cry, but felt so ridiculous saying I hated Kate at the time. So I never told anyone until DH said exactly what I was thinking. So, you're not going mad, it's perfectly normal to feel that way. ((Hug))

Writemove · 03/10/2014 19:16

I felt exactly the same. You are not alone.

Like Ipswich, my mmc was at the same time Kate was pregnant with Prince George. She announced it the day I went back to work after my erpc. I felt an immediate hatred and seeing her with her bump made me feel ill.

I still find it hard not to dislike her now even though I got pregnant soon after and had my little boy in October,

I think it's because they are so public that they can't help 'flaunting' and it feels like they are rubbing in their successful fertility.

Iggi999 · 03/10/2014 20:27

I marked the due dates in some way - alone, dh didn't feel it the same way I did though I know he felt awful at the time. Light a candle, that sort of thing.
The reverse of the celebrity-dislike is that I am over-fond of all the celebrities I hear of who've had miscarriages - Amanda Redman, Janet Ellis, Alex Polizzi. Hope you are coping, OP.

IrnBruTheNoo · 04/10/2014 20:32

I am so sorry about your loss and the date has approached. I would have been due my baby last month had I not MCd in February this year. It would have also been my third DC.

BlueberryPoppy123 · 07/10/2014 22:17

I have just posted a thread about being due next week, i am also finding it really hard at the moment, I have been fine since the aftermath of the loss in March but now it's like it's haunting me and I can think of nothing else, I have taken a dislike to pregnant people and babies, one of my friends has the same due date and when I read her moany status' I want to punch her it's really horrible.
So sorry for everyone who is going through this I wish there was more help for people who have had a loss

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