Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

we know deep down it's not our fault but wqe keep thinking what if i hadn't had that glass of wine, what if I had slept better what if etc etc

Booked a 10w scan and Harmony test... couldn't resist and cope waiting until the 12w one... if i have bad news i want them sooner!

I know that feeling, a fortnight is my limit before I start to get twitchy again! When is that? Mine is next Thursday, and I'll be 15 weeks.

18th will be 10w+2

then have on the 3rd October (a fri) a 12w NT scan at the Fetal Medicine Centre where I will get the harmony results too, and then on the 7th October the NHS 12w scan

Hugs to all you ladies and the feelings of loss and guilt are so hard to live with. I think they are very natural and it's a process we have to go through. Somedays I feel dreadful and other days not so bad.

Bootles you will get the sibling for your child and then you won't feel this way but I have to say my DH is an only child and he is the most content and well adjusted person I know! Also me and my brother have an 8 year age gap but we love each other to bits. DC2 coming along a bit later than you hoped could be brilliant :)

Day 24 for me (11dpo) and I'm delighted to report a record high temp of 36.90!! Could the high levels of progesterone pessaries finally be working for me? Three more days until I can let myself take the dreaded test and find out. Eeeeek xxx

Tiny good call on booking the scan. If I get that BFP I'm going to have loads. I don't care about the cost!!

Tiny Good on booking the scan and test at the FMC - are they still doing that package where they offer the scans at 10 and 12 weeks, together with the Harmony? It is such a fab way of testing, I think.
A word of warning though - if their measurements on the day they do your 10-week scan don't match the exact requirements of fetal size, they will not take the bloods for the Harmony test on that day, but will ask you to come back again a week or so later. When I went there earlier this year, I was 10+2 by my counting, but the baby was less than 32mm (I think that is the required minimum size). So I had to go back again a week later, as they were adamant that it was too small for the Harmony test to work, apparently (it measured 30.5mm, so very close, but they still wouldn't do the Harmony!). I was really quite annoyed about this at the time...
Also, be prepared that the Harmony test does not work for everyone - I tried twice, without success. They obviously don't make a big thing about this beforehand, but it does happen quite frequently.

cat Fingers crossed! High temps are good! I'm 9DPO, and mine took a bit of a dive this morning - still above baseline, but I'm not hopeful. We only dtd once during the window (although I have fallen pg like this before, so you never know...).

bootles I also feel so sad about not being able to give DS a sibling, I know he would love it Now the age gap is getting bigger and bigger, and I need to accept that I am definitely no longer in control of the family planning. I just hope that -should I even manage to have another baby- there will still be a strong bond and friendship between the DCs.

Thanks cloud

I will be 10+2 so might be that measures small, we shall have to see... thanks for letting me know though, as they just saw from 10w on the site...

and yes, it's that deal £400 for a 10w scan, a 12w scan and harmony

Fingers crossed Cloud!

I hope the age gap won't worry you you DC will love the sibbling whenever he / she comes along.

Me and my brother really are the very best of friends and the big age gap has never mattered. In fact, I don't know anyone as close to their sibbling as I am to him!

XXX

Hello everyone. Hugs to everyone feeling low. I recognise your feelings so much. I can't believe it has been two months since my last mc and I am still thinking about it almost constantly. Last time I was just desperate to get pregnant again but this time I don't feel like that's the answer. Like someone said, it would be fine if I knew there would be a happy ending.

That said, I am calmer than I was. Work is keeping me occupied and I had a nice night out last night. Went for dinner and to a gig in brixton and felt more like my old self.

Off work today looking after dd and a friend's ds before nursery starts again next week. Is pretty hard work tbh. Would be calmer in the office. Rumours have improved since we ventured out to the library though and they are now playing happily if rather ominously upstairs (lots of talk of bums and poo emanating from their room).

Ooh, fingers crossed cat. I am in the old 2ww as well. Logically to might be better with a BFN this month as a bit worried about getting a BFP right before going to oz where I can't have daily fortnightly scans and before I have a chance to grill st Mary's about my hormones, but bet that won't stop me crying when AF arrives

Hi ladies,

Here's to keeping positive. Sorry to hear so many are feeling so low.

I have a question as I have been having some bizzarre turns of dizziness that are being investigated and one thing that came up was 'Hughes syndrome' (or APS) and a big flag for this is recurrent early miscarriages. It's a clotting disorder and I tick so many boxes for it.

Are clotting issues something they check for at the recurrent mc clinic?

ididn't yes they'll check. If you turn out to have this it's treatable with aspirin and heparin.

Oh that is positive! I may mean I can get shot of the ENT referral too then if it turns out to be that!

Should add I've only been using google due to my bizarre unexplained dizzy spells and have had no other confirmation. I kind of hope in a strange way that is what it is so that I can solve loads of my health issues at the same time too!

Hi Everyone
I had my first miscarriage in May, I was 6 weeks pregnant. I have a beautiful 26 month old little girl. We have been trying to get pregnant again with no luck, just wondered how long it has taken any of you ladies out there and should I be stressing as I am x

Can I ask how all you ladies kept so strong after all these miscarriages, I had one 2 years ago and I'm still not managing to get over it. Could you pm me tho, don't want to ruin this thread by going off topic.

Thanks x

Thanks longest. Let's hope this 2ww has good news for us both. A holiday in early pregnancy might be just what you need anyway :)

ididnt I hope you can get the answers and the right treatment. It's so weird hoping that something is wrong I know just what you mean.

Giraffe I have known fertility issues so I can't really inform you but I am sure the other ladies will tell you about their waits. Generally the nhs recommends you see your doctor if you've been ttc for a year or more with no luck.

Anna I've pm'd you!

XxX

Hi AnnaGG I don't think there is any "off topic" on here. I just had my 2nd and I'm feeling like I'm falling apart but I guess externally (to anyone other than my counsellor, my DH and me) I seem like I'm doing well. I think you just keep going. It's part of life, isn't it? I'm constantly surprised how we can handle setbacks as humans. We're pretty interesting :)

Argh, a friend of mine who was due within a couple of weeks of me gave birth. I've been dreading her giving birth (she got pregnant the first month she and her DH decided to start trying, had a perfect embryo & HB at 7 weeks and to my knowledge didn't have any real probs during her pregnancy. B*TCH. I am actually kidding, she was lovely when I had my 2nd MC, I felt like something was wrong so she tried to get me in to see her OB... still doesn't stop it hurting a bit)

lurker I'm so sorry I didn't answer your msg about staying somewhere in Syd... I have never lived there so am not super familiar with the city but I think it's pretty easy to get to the airport... from memory there is a fast train so maybe somewhere near that?

Hello Giraffe I am sorry for your loss.

Sorry, posted too soon. Did your periods return normally after your mc? I have tended to get pregnant on the third cycle after each miscarriage but AF didn't return for a couple of months after mmc. Trying without success since May is definitely normal, although I totally understand how agonising ttc can be, especially after a mc when the idea of getting pregnant again can be all that's keeping you going. Have you joined the ttc after a mc thread? The women there will understand what you are going through.

Anna Please don't apologise for posting here. If we can offer support to others that is one positive thing to come out of this mess. I don't think still thinking about your mc is a sign of weakness. Are you actively ttc and do you have other dc? I am very fortunate to have a lovely dd who is now 3 and she keeps me positive most of the time, but I would dearly love to give her a sibling and like others on this thread panic about the increasing gap (thanks cat for the reassurance again). I have also been very open with friends and they are a good source of support, as are the lovely women on this thread. None of that stops me thinking about it all the time though. I think only having dc2 in my arms will do that, and maybe not even then. This experience is a part of me now. I hope in time that will make me kinder and more appreciative of what I have. At the moment it is making me into a worse person.

Hugs to you Longest this journey does change us but we grow because of it. DC2 will happen. Hang in there xxx

Hi ladies,

Big temperature drop and BFN for me this morning. I'm going to leave the feed while we reevaluate our options. It's basically IVF or adoption for us now.

Thank you all for being lovely during my time on here. I wish you all lots of luck and hope to be back on with happy news in the future.

Hugs xxx

Cat I am so sorry. Please come back and post when you feel able. I will really miss your warmth and support. Wishing you every success with the journey ahead xxxxxx

Sorry to hear that cat we will miss you. Do come back and update when you've had some time to think over what is next for you.

Sorry to hear that Cat. Good luck and best wishes. xxx