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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

i am 35 weeks, find the baby dead inside?

55 replies

happywithit · 21/02/2014 22:56

i have 2 boys with c-section, i aaas pregnant with a girl this time, i was very exited, yesterday i did not feel nothing, no movement, i notice it in the night time, i waited until the morning, i called the hospital, they ask me to came, they cheek for the baby heart, not moving at all, they confirm the baby dead, very chocked, they give me tablet and i have to came back sunday 9am for trying for normal birth, anyone had any experience? is it more hard than giving birth to a life baby?

OP posts:
Mandy2003 · 21/02/2014 23:03

So sorry, but I don't have any practical advice. Do you have partner/family near you?

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:05

I am so very sorry for your loss. Its no harder Physically but you'll need lots of emotional support.
I'll be thinking of you xxx

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:09

thank you, i have my husband, my family above, i do have a few friend, but i am more worried about my babies as they are very young, and hoping everything will be find with me just for them.

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:16

I am sure they'll be ok. Children are stronger than we give then credit for. They'll prob be the ones giving you the most comfort and support, their unconditional love is just what you need.
do you know what you'll name her? X

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:24

i was not thinking to name her, as she is dead before born.

OP posts:
HauntedNoddyCar · 21/02/2014 23:27

For the birth they can give you far more pain relief because they don't have to worry about them affecting the baby :(

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:27

my son was choosing meriam, so i will name her meriam, but do i have to put meriam in any paper? i have no idea as i thing she is dead inside thats it, she will need nothing.

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:28

I'm a maternity nurse. I'm sorry but you'll have to name her and give her a funeral. I'm so sorry x

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:29

You'll need to for her birth and death certificates x

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:31

They can't give you too much more pain relief as there is a small chance they are wrong and the baby is alive. They have to Make allowance for human error x

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:31

ok, thank you for this advice, i will name her meriam. i had no idea

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:34

Its ok, no one expects this to happen and when it does there is no time to prepare for anything x

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:35

i am felling very weak now, as i cried a lot, and had a very hard day, my friend they telling me you have to be strong for sunday, but i can't feel it no energy on e at all.

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:40

You will be exhausted, and its hard and not fair, its the worst thing a woman can go through. But you have two other beautiful little darlings to keep going for.
Of you really can not do it (emotionally or physically) then they will give you a c section. You might have to ask a few times but its in your rights to demand one. You might find a full anaesthetic the best x

Blondieminx · 21/02/2014 23:40

I am very sorry you are going through this Sad

Do look at SANDS which is a charity which supports parents affected by stillbirth. There is a section on the practicalities, a telephone helpline and a section for dads too.

So sorry x

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:44

May I ask - are you religious? X

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:45

oh, no i really don't want to go to c-section, as i had too already, and incase i want to give an other birth in the future.

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:46

They will allow you 3 c sections, its ok to keep your options open x

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:46

yes SarahPatricia i am, why does it make any difference?

OP posts:
SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:48

Can you speak to your religious leader?
I am Christian - is it ok of I pray for you and your family when I am in church tomorrow?

BigArea · 21/02/2014 23:48

I'm so sorry OP x

happywithit · 21/02/2014 23:50

thank you SarahPatricia, its very kind of you, much appreciated.

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poppins30 · 21/02/2014 23:52

I am so sorry happywithit. What a terribly sad thing to be experiencing.

I hope your partner will support you through this x

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:54

The other thing I should warn you about - they won't have you near the other women who are in labour. Some hospitals put you in a side room, others will put you in another part of the hospital x

SarahPatricia · 21/02/2014 23:57

The other thing is that after she is born they will give her to you to say goodbye to, take photos ect. If you don't want her given to you then you need it written into your notes so everyone knows x

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