Recurrent Miscarriage Testing, trials and tribulations...Part 7!

[squizita]

Hi all, carrying on from part 6. All kinicker-checkers, blood-testers, clinic-attenders and finger-crossers welcome. Nothing but love and crossed fingers...

Squiz I know I think they try to blame it on anything when they don't really know gp was really nice today she examined me said it's most likely the ectropian that's causing it but if I'm still concerned to go back she said to ask the consultant to do a smear because she couldn't as I'm not due for another year but specialists are allowed?? I'm just a born worrier and always think the worst I just need my mind putting at ease x

purple What a shock, hope you're OK. Have they been able to tell you more? When are you seeing the specialist? What happens next, and why does this mean that you're no pg (sorry, I have no experience about molar pg)? How upsetting, on top of everything else hugs

Thanks for your advice re excessive mucus. It's all calmed down now again, no idea what was going on there! Def no infection, as I have just had a round of antibiotics to treat just that (maybe the mucus was a delayed reaction, or my body getting rid of dead cells - lovely).

I'm so tired - work is brutal, and I'm still struggling with getting back to normal. It seems all so pointless sometimes... This is the tiredness speaking, I do like my job. There are currently 2 heavily pg women in my office, both about to go on mat leave. One colleague's wife is due at the same time as my EDD from the 2nd mc. And my childminder is pg, too, due at the same time as my EDD 3rd mc. It's so hard. They are having a baby shower in the office this week, and I am so glad that I have a valid reason not to go - got a hair appointment, which I made months ago, and I'm not cancelling it to go to a babyshower

Morning all, Purple I'm so sorry to hear about the new diagnosis, I hope that everything is resolved quickly and you can recover and move on without too much stress/delay.

JBrd I know what you mean - they are everywhere! It's so frustrating that it seems so easy and 'the most natural thing in the world'. Well it isn't. So there!

Don't thanks for the stats thread. Really useful to keep track of everyone.

Butterfly hope the bleeding settles down.

Waves to everyone else.

I'm back to work and busier than ever. The 1st October will be here before I know it and then it's off to St Mary's to become a human pin cushion!

purple offering another hug, that news must have been a horrible shock.

Thanks everyone, i was in shock as it was a call out of the blue nearly 9 weeks after erpc and i dont know anything yet, im waiting on dundee hospital contacting me. Cant stop crying today, its been an awful 3 months, im due back to work after a 5 year career break in two weeks and i dont know how i will cope. I wont be able to ttc for ages and i will be 37 next month thats not so old? My sister said to me last night aw well your last mc wasnt even a baby just a ball of cells and then didnt get why i got upset!?!hope everyone is doing ok, cant name check as i am on my phone xx

Hello all. In haste now but I'm sorry many of us are having a hard time Thinking of you, purple and JBrd - and all of us.

Hi ladies - sorry for the silence (and lack of support) but I have had a long weekend away without any wi-fi!

Guppie thanks for the tip I'll definately try that but I find it all a little hit or miss! I have been using ice before and after and I don't seem to be too bruised! Are you?

Purple I'm so terribly sorry, sadly I don't know anything about molar pg so can't offer any advice but hand holding I can do

Don't what sick bodies we have with a feint line then AF turning up - I'm so sorry.

AFM I am weirdly (first time since first pg) quite optimistic and haven't had 'the fear' too badly (hopefully this isn't me jinxing things) - I have been injecting Heparin daily and have just heard from the EPU that they will be scanning me next Friday - lets hope this pg lasts that long.

Sorry for the second quick fly by, am exhausted. Just wanted to say sorry Purple- it sounds like you are having a hell of a time. I'm ignorant of the ins and outs of molar but it must be awful for you. Sending hugs to you and everyone too.

Polka2 - I'm not using ice and haven't bruised, but maybe Clexane is a bit different to heparin. I'm not really sure. Strangely the only one that did bruise was the first one I did with the nurse, but she rubbed it with alcohol first and said it would make it sting much more, so maybe that was it. I inject it really slowly as well, as find that makes it slightly less stingy. I'm not actually minding the injections as much as I thought I would. I'm finding the progesterone pessaries actually more annoying as they're messy and are now making me itch! (TMI)

I've got a scan tomorrow when I will be 6wks 4 days (hopefully). I'm feeling fairly pessimistic. Have pregnancy symptoms - feeling sick, tired and generally crappy - but that could be the progesterone I'm on. Last night I was hormonal I think as spent an hour crying after our puppy got overexcited and jabbed me in the eye with her paw (!). I had the same sad feelings before my last mc started so I guess it's just made me think it's gone wrong again and it's just the progesterone that's stopping the inevitable. No point speculating though - I'm looking forward to finding out tomorrow one way or the other..!

DontTryThis I've had weird ovary pains and heavy, slight irregular periods ever since my last mc. It took me 10 months to conceive again too, when previously it was much quicker. My dr didn't seem that interested as all the tests had come back okay but it does worry me that things didn't return to normal for some reason. Before my mcs, my periods had always been pretty easy and regular. Maybe if you get pregnant/have a baby things never return completely to normal, I don't know. But think it is definitely worth asking about it.

Guppie my heparin is Clexane too, I will try the slow injecting too to see if that helps. Very good luck for your scan tomorrow - the progesterone ( I took it on the last unsuccessful pg) does make a mess but I really hope its doing the job for you and the scan goes well.

Guppie good luck for tomorrow. Everything crossed.

Oh blimey, pregnant SIL, due at Christmas like I would have been if not for MC4, wants to come and stay for the weekend and parade her 6m bump around This is going to seriously test my new (academic) year, new optimism.

Oh Baking really really tough one, I'm not sure what to say....................?????

Baking, that is a tough one. I was honest with my Sister and said I might feel funny/emotional about seeing her and that I might cry, but actually I had built it up in my mind and it was (mostly) fine (luckily, considering I assisted at the birth in the event!). I think if you are honest with your SIL and say that you are happy for her but that your own feelings are raw then you can make a decision based on how understanding she is?

Polka EVERYTHING crossed for you for tomorrow!

Waves to everyone else! :)

Baking, that is a tough one. I was honest with my Sister and said I might feel funny/emotional about seeing her and that I might cry, but actually I had built it up in my mind and it was (mostly) fine (luckily, considering I assisted at the birth in the event!). I think if you are honest with your SIL and say that you are happy for her but that your own feelings are raw then you can make a decision based on how understanding she is?

Polka EVERYTHING crossed for you for tomorrow!

Waves to everyone else! :)

She doesn't know ATM. DH in his infinite wisdom hasn't told any of his family. SIL was lovely after first MC which was before she had any kids. I should have told her at Christmas when she made some remark about us having more, but at that point I'd only had one more MC and still thought it would be fine next time, so I brushed it off. She's a nice person and we haven't seen her or the boys' cousins for ages, so I don't want to make excuses not to see them, I'll just have to grit my teeth.

Baking that's really tough, I am sorry. Honesty is the best policy here methinks- you aren't unhappy for your SIL but that doesn't mean you aren't feeling raw about it all. I'd bet she'd be sensitive about it all.

baking I think late is right and you should tell them at some point that you're delighted they're coming but might be feeling a little wobbly, she sounds like a good person that would understand from what you've said.

Late my brain is befuddled majorly and my scan is NEXT Friday not tomorrow - durrrr, sorry!

I mean Just not Late - see....brain is mush........?!

Just a quick one... seen this? Prof Q story in the news: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24047842?SThisFB Kinda like with aspirin, warning women that steroids ONLY help if diagnosed, so don't take them wily nilly, only prescribed. Good it raises awareness.

Hey all. I had my scan yesterday and so far so good. I had thought I would be 6wks, 4 days but the consultant said it was measuring more like 6wks, so feels like there's such a massive mountain to climb yet! But the sac looked a good shape apparently and there was a little heartbeat. I feel like it's going to be so much bigger a deal than the others if this one goes wrong because of the injecting and pessaries and feeling like crap... and fact it's the fourth one and took 10mths to conceive it. I feel happy it all looks okay so far, but also like now there's more to lose than ever. It's not an easy journey for those of us going through this.

A friend told me she'd recently had an abortion (she has a few kids already) and it felt so ironic that some people can have babies and get rid of pregnancies so easily (I'm not anti abortion, but they are hard to hear about sometimes) and here I am desperately willing on a 5mm embryo.

Squizita thanks for sharing the BBC story. It's really interesting and always good to hear about further research into recurrent mc.

Baking, I hope the weekend goes okay with your SIL. I'm far better with pregnant women who don't sit there constantly rubbing their bump (or worse, sitting there with their partner both rubbing the bump!). I can pretend it's not there then. Fortunately partner's sister who got pregnant shortly after my third mc was pretty good at not making a big thing of it. Not sure if that was deliberate while I was around, but either way I appreciated it.

Guppie great news you got to see the heartbeat and everything is looking as it should. One step nearer the end goal but we all know how hard it is and I have to keep reminding myself 'today you are pregnant'. But do enjoy the moment if at all possible.

Good news Guppie. I'm sure it still feels like so many hurdles to surmount, but so far so good. How long until your next scan?

I feel a bit mad today, had a big wobbly panic that since we've been TTC this month I might be pregnant and was all tearful and vulnerable. It is so hard to put yourself back in the firing line. I know the reality is I'm likely to get a BFN and have months of trying, but now even the possibility of pregnancy is freaking me out, previously I've been calm at least until I see the line....
Throwing myself into planning DS's Harry Potter party next month, which will be a totally over the top extravagansa because organising it takes my mind off things. Hey - if I keep miscarrying at least he'll have fantastic parties

Baking, they're going to do the next scan at 9 weeks. I really appreciate the regular scans and my consultant was absolutely lovely and couldn't have been more understanding yesterday. He was like 'let's get on with this quickly and I'll let you know as soon as I see something good or bad'..! I feel like 9 wks would be a huge hurdle to get over. But if I get that far I'll probably be saying the same about 12 wks!

I think you're right - it is putting yourself back in the firing line and it's understandable you'd feel scared and vulnerable about embarking on this again after a break. It's a very out of control feeling. But you've thought long and hard about your decision and I think once you get a positive test, you will feel less out of control and more like you just have to hope and do everything you can to make it successful. We're all here for you too! Ha, I know what you mean about the parties. I keep trying to remind myself if I'm never successful I'll have more time to myself and better clothes and holidays..! My new puppy has also been excellent for transferring all my maternal urges onto although it does mean she's turning into the most spoiled demanding dog ever!

Thanks Polka. I hope your scan comes round quickly for you. The waiting is awful. My working days have felt about 15hrs long for the last week I've been willing on time so much...

Baking I'm with you - gearing yourself up to yet another round of ttc requires so much courage and stamina. Completely understandable that you are freaking out a bit! Hopefully, you'll soon get back into the swing of things
And hopefully, the SIL visit will go OK - it is so hard to be around bumps and babies, regardless of how thick you think your skin is! Do you think your SIL will be able to understand how you feel...?

I'm actually very impressed with my hospital at the moment - we went in last week to have our bloods taken to get the ball rolling for the investigations. And this week have I not only received a letter for an ultrasound appointment for tomorrow, but also an appointment with the consultant at the Recurring Miscarriage Clinic in November! Wow, they don't hang around! Now all I need is the blood test on day 2-5 of my next cycle.
I really thought it would all take forever to get going, but apparently not!
Of course, this might mean that we can possibly start ttc again soon...