Recurrent Miscarriage Testing, trials and tribulations...Part 7!

[squizita]

Hi all, carrying on from part 6. All kinicker-checkers, blood-testers, clinic-attenders and finger-crossers welcome. Nothing but love and crossed fingers...

Squiz - thats what I did and then there was meconium in the waters and DD spent a night in intensive care. Might not be related but still...

Think I am getting AF. V sad. IO know I have to just let go of the expectations but it is very hard. Has anyone got any tips on how to do this - meditation/books/happy pills

Hi everyone.

Donttry so sorry you're having a rough time. I felt exactly the same during this last bout of ttc as it took so much longer than it ever had before (6 months so not ridiculous but felt like a lifetime after wasting a year on the mcs). I found it kind of got easier each month as my expectations were lowered. I had regular acupuncture which helped and tried to exercise to raise endorphins! I also had a plan in mind so that if it didn't happen by x date I was going to see someone and try clomid. Not convinced it would have helped but felt better having a plan. I also tried to get my head around a big age gap. If this works out it'll be 3.5 years which is longer than I wanted but shorter than the one I was focussing on to help me readjust expectations (6 years). There is 9 years between my dad and uncle and they're so close so stories like that helped rein in my anxiety!

School so excited its so close!! Can't wait to here the news! DD was also breech so I had a planned section & actually really enjoyed the whole experience and felt very in control which is definitely what you want after rmc.

Picardy hope you're doing ok. Its so tough deciding whether to give up on a dream no matter what that dream is especially when you've tried so hard for it. Its the feeling of not being content that's really difficult to deal with and everyone had different needs and expectations so please don't apologise.

Latebloomer I agree with the others. Its definitely worth trying as I'm sure you only ever regret not trying rather than the other way round. Such hard decisions to be made & so sad that you're in this situation but you seem to be dealing with it amazingly.

Hi to everyone else! Squiz and Baking hope you're both feeling ok.

I've been feeling much more anxious these last few days. The relief from the last scan has worn off and I keep worrying that something's gone wrong again. Debating whether to book a private scan - will be 15 weeks tomorrow. I think until I can feel regular movements,& after the 20 week scan, I'll feel worried. Although maybe that will never go. Also have had an excruciating headache for the last 2 days. Worrying it means something's gone wrong although I know rationally its pretty normal in pregnancy. Its pretty debilitating though. Wish I could just enjoy being pregnant!! Still feeling like a bit of a fraud!! 20 week scan cannot come soon enough!

Thank you everyone. You're all really kind. I will try and pop in and update on the appt tomorrow.
Still really sorry not to be very talkative, but I'm all talked out on this subject for the time being
Love to all.

Anyone tried acupuncture? Does it hurt? Did it help?

Justone I have regular Accupuncture and am always banging on about it here! I found it really helpful and really believe it works especially for stress and hormone issues. It does hurt me sometimes but not others and may depend on whether a point needs to be treated. The key is finding the right practitioner. I've tried a few and left one as she just wasnt my cup of tea. The lady I see now is a former midwife and I like the fact she has a medical background so I can have a proper discussion about all the complicated issues I see her about. Also saw someone in London who I definitely recommend. Worth a go!

Bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Just wrote an epic reply to one and all and my computer crashed - soz, as now very shortened answer to follow!

Hope everyone is ok and had a good weekend.

Just I also have "banged on" about various alternative therapies - I've been having reflexology for 4yrs which has definately settled my hormones and shortened my cycle to 32 days regularly for over 3yrs now - unheard of! But I must admit, although I don't particularly enjoy the experience, I DEFINATELY put getting pg down to having acupuncture.

......I have been ttc for 4.5yrs and its only since starting acupuncture I've managed to conceive 3 times in 15 months (all ending sadly in mc). The research echoes that the damage done by stress whilst ttc is so underestimated and acupuncture is amazing at stopping stress affecting the rest of your body/system. God knows but I felt it was worth a try when days away from IVF .....

School counting down with you - must be amazing to finally have a date when you get to meet baby!

Polka glad the witch finally showed up.

Donttry sorry the witch showed up. No advice on how to stop being on the TTC treadmill driving you mad, especially when a BFP is only the first step.

LB I think in your shoes I'd give it a shot, on the grounds that the universe owes you a bit of good fortune. If you got pregnant, could you cope with the early days of anxiety on top of DH's treatment, or would that be the straw that breaks the camel?

Tea hope your headache has abated. I think anxiety is the default state, but I'm sure everything is going ok in there, and it won't be long until you can feel movements.

Picardy I really hope the appointment is helpful today and moves you towards a decision. I think we're both in a similar situation and it is so hard to decide if you are ready to call it a day. Dr Q has given us a bit of hope and I think we're going to have one last try (where have I heard that before) but we're teetering on the brink of acceptance that it won't happen for us. You absolutely should bang on about it here, this thread is about having somewhere you can be real about how hard this is, I think we've all had any false jollity and positivity beaten out of us. This is a place to rejoice in the success stories but also to be realistic that by the very nature of the thread we are all well acquainted with failure and sadness. Please stay here whilst you wrestle with and reach your peace with a decision.

Justone I think acupuncture is fascinating. I've not used it for myself but I've started to use it a bit in animals (I'm a vet) and it can have fairly spectacular results.

Epic post, sorry if I've forgotten anyone!

We had a lovely weekend away at Camp Bestival and forgot all about TTC, deliberately averted my eyes from babies, bumps, breastfeeding tents and postnatal yoga. Don't know whether to blame constant averting of eyes or my thermorest for the sore neck!

Thanks for your posts everyone. I went for it and had some acupuncture today - I will have a few sessions and see how I feel. Worth a go. I can't ttc until at least November so I may as well try some alternative stuff.

Hope your appointment went well Picardy?

Tea I hope you feel you are able to relax a bit and begin to enjoy being pg.

School you are an inspiration to us all. Good luck with the Big Event!

Hope everyone else is doing OK?

Day out with PG sister tomorrow. Must stay strong! xx

Squiz missed you out - sorry!

Hello all - can I join please? Sorry for anyone having a crappy time right now. Am enduring miscarriage number 6 and back from EPU today. All going as well as can be expected, another blood test on Thurs. Then a referral to Liverpool. Anyone been recently? Hopefully there I won't get the 'bad luck' line or I might explode.

Lancashire I posted on your other thread to answer the Q about NK cells. Glad you decided to join us, we are a lovely bunch of obsessed nutters

Hi Lancashire. So sorry you've found yourself here, it is so hard and I hope you're doing ok. School is at Liverpool Womens Hospital and she is about to have a baby! Sure she'll be along soon to provide more info.

Hi Lancashire. Tea is right- I was referred to Liverpool womens after 4 miscarriages. I saw mr Farquharson who I believe is retiring soon but I also had a few appointments with a lady consultant who he has been training up to take over (sorry cant remember her name).

Just to give you an idea of what happens.. I got an appointment within 4 weeks of being referred but actually that was too soon after miscarriage as they like all the hormones out of your body before they do tests so
A lovely nurse called Anne-Marie called me and rearranged for 3 weeks later. Anne Marie is amazing. She is the heart if the recurrent miscarriage clinic there and totally understands what the women referred there are going through. (She even wrote her own paper based on her own hypothesis that women who go through recurrent miscarriage experience I type of post traumatic stress disorder)

Anyway I went in and met mr farquharson and he explained the tests he would do (sorry cant remember them all but I trusted him). They took bloods and I went back 6 weeks later for the results.

Turns out I had antiphospholipid syndrome (a blood clotting disorder)
Which I had previously been tested for at my local hospital but came back as fine (obvs wasn't fine!).

Worth saying as well that mr farq said although everyone wants to find something wrong the BEST possible outcome in terms of successful next pregnancy chances is for them to find nothing at all

So anyway mr farq explained that next time I got pregnant I should take aspirin from BFP then at 6weeks come in for scan. If heartbeat seen ( which it was) I would start injecting heparin daily. Anne Marie did my scan and showed me how to inject heparin (lovely to have continuity if care). I then had scans at 8, 10 and 12 weeks- Anne Marie did them all.

At that point I was discharged from Liverpool to my local hospital... Currently 38 weeks pregnant.

Sorry that was mammoth.. The care was just so Much better than anything I'd had before. They will really look after you.. And there is hope. X

Hi All, I have posted a while back I think it was thread 6 at that point, but have been lurking and keeping up with everyone's journeys. We have been TTC for 2 years now, we have no DC and had MC no.3 in Feb this year. I'm from the North West too Lancashire and like School decided that Liverpool Women's was where I wanted to be referred too. My GP agreed and I had no issue with referral and we had our 1st appt in April with Anne Marie. I can only echo what School has said, she was fantastic and it was so refreshing to speak to someone who knew/understood exactly what we had been through. At that appointment she took a very detailed history and I also had what felt like several pints of blood taken for the raft of tests they do. this included being tested to see if I was suitable for the PROMISE or TABLET trials. We were then advised to try and not be pregnant for the follow up appointment in June.

We met with Mr Farquharson who again I can't priase highly enough he is incredibly understanding, we went through all the tests one by one. He had said at the start of the appt that most people go in wanting there to be a problem, because they think that it can be fixed. He actually doesn't want to find anything as that gives better odds in having success. It's harder to treat a problem is his outlook. After going through everything all the tests had come back with no problems and were in the "accepted/right" ranges so nothing even boderline.

I'll be honest it took me a while to take it all in, and I was very emotional in the week afterwards. I think I thoughtthat he would have a magic wand, we are like Scool to go back to him once I get another BFP and we will have early scans with Anne Marie.

So we are back on the TTC wagon, I try to stay positive but do feel time is slipping away, every month brings another AF and deep down I can't seem to shake off the underlying fear that I will never have a DC of my own.

Sorry this has turned in to abit of an essay but just wanted to share.

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok, I had erpc 4 July and still no AF, I know it could still take weeks but its driving me mad. Still waiting for tests :(

Lancashire hope a few good experiences at Liverpool have given you some optimism.

coffee I'm another one in the 'unexplained' group, though I'm hoping the biopsies I've had done recently will shed some light. It's very hard to live with having all the tests and still no answers. In many ways I felt I could cope with either 'this is what is wrong and this is what we can do' or ' this is what is wrong and I'm afraid you'll never have another child' (maybe easier for me to accept that as I have DC already) but 'we have no idea why you have had 4 losses' is hard to take, particularly when I know that the most recent one was a genetically perfect embryo. I'm sure Mr F is quite right that the unexplained group have the best chance of success, but it's not helpful when you continue to miscarry and nobody seems to be able to give you a reason.

purplefrog hope AF shows up soon. Do you have an appointment to get the ball rolling for testing?

Purplefrog I just wanted to say that after my 2 erpcs AF took a while to return (6-8 weeks) so give it time it will come but I know how frustrating it is! Acupuncture helps me but I also think your body just needs time to repair itself and get back to normal.

Hello all, can I join? I'm currently having to face my third mc in a row this year, and I feel so deflated and empty.
Found out at an early scan on Sunday, where they only saw an empty sac, no foetal pole and no heartbeat. Measuring only 4 weeks, but I am 8 weeks today, and there is no doubt about my dates.
I'm not bleeding or have any other problems at the moment, which I struggle to deal with (that sounds weird...). With both my previous mcs, I started bleeding first, before we found out that things weren't right. Now I'm just hanging in limbo, not even having any physical 'proof' of what is going on.

I'm having another scan next week, and I guess they will discuss my options with me then. Right now, I'm terrified that they will actually find a heartbeat... This happened with my first mc, which then just dragged on and on - there was no chance in hell that this would have turned out right, everything measured more than 2 weeks behind, but they obviously can't do anything, when there's a heartbeat.

But I'm hoping that now they will do some investigations as to why this keeps happening - even though right now I cannot face thinking about ttc again, I want to get every test under the sun, if possible, to try and get to the bottom of this (secretly hoping that it might be something 'easy' like hormone imbalance, which they can do something about).
Of course, it could just be that I'm too old (I'm 41), but until they can prove to me that my eggs are failing, I refuse to accept that explanation

JBrd, so sorry you find yourself here. I hope that you get some answers soon and that your recovering is uncomplicated. It's such a shock to see something unexpected and bad news on a scan, especially when everything else seems to be OK. I know what you mean about wanting it to be cut and dried without a long protracted process. Try to get your GP to refer you to one of the research hospitals like St Mary's or Liverpool. The teams there have access to the latest research and people seem to say good things about them. I have my appointment at St Mary's in October. Your GP should be able to do the paperwork - it took a bit of chasing on my part to get on their books, but once you are in their systems I think it's about 3-4 months for an appointment. In the meantime, look after yourself. Have a few treats (dippy egg, rare steak if you like that sort of thing) and maybe some reflexology to help with your general well-being so that you are fit and well to try again when you are ready. Have your read:www.amazon.co.uk/Miscarriage-What-every-Woman-needs/dp/0752837575/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375876427&sr=8-1&keywords=lesley+regan ? It might help you make a bit more sense of what has happened. Good Luck!

Thanks for your 'hope' stories, ladies. Sometimes I think that this is just my life now, but it's nice to be reminded that it can turn out OK. Day out with PG sister an lovely niece was OK in the end. The only problem was some other woman coo-ing over her bump in a cafe (back off, b*tch!), but my sister was sensitive enough to be discrete (as much as she could with an 8 month bump) and we had a really good chat.

Tried some acupuncture - tbh will try most things...! Hope it works, I have signed up for a course with some herbal supplements (which I can't spell or pronounce, but which seem to be OK from a quick google search. :)

xx

Hi Jbrd glad you decided to join the thread. I know exactly what you mean about the heartbeat. 1st MC I had some bleeding, saw a HB and was told everything was fine, still ok a week later, then MC a week after that. Somehow that baby was so much more real to me because of seeing that little flicker. Most recent one was similar to what you are currently encountering - no HB at 7.5 weeks but measuring several weeks behind, then lo and behold embryo developed a weak HB so nobody would do anything, even though it was weeks behind dates and developing too slowly. The whole thing dragged out for a fortnight after I knew it was no good and the limbo was awful. I felt like a complete b*h for wishing that little flicker was not there.
So, whilst wishing you only the best and most positive outcome, I hope there is no heartbeat next time if there is no likelihood of this being a viable pregnancy. Sending you un-mumsnetty hugs.

Hi all - just a quick one - still reading, just no time to do a proper reply sorry! My mum's in hospital (routine op nothing to worry about) so am really busy right now! Waves!

Hello all. I'm so sorry for more or less deserting you all. Thanks all, esp Baking , for your lovely words. I've been thinking of you all but have been trying to think things over quietly for myself, as I do think I am in the early stages of the waving-goodbye-to-the-dream stage. This despite the fact that the geneticist on Mon was lovely and surprisingly positive. She thinks one of us does indeed have a translocation - but we won't know for sure until our karyotypes are back in 6-7 weeks. And she said she doesn't discourage pregnancy in her translocation patients - although of course there may be an indeterminate number of mcs to go through first - which takes us right back to those big questions around giving up or not.

I will be back properly soon, I think. Love to all and welcome to the new arrivals - sorry you're here but glad you're here, iyswim.

Hi everybody can i join in please. Went for my 12 week scan on monday and was concerned as ive had two previous mcs, but i had been scanned at 8 and 9 weeks so new at that stage there was a heartbeat. To cut a long story short ive got a retroverted uterus so sonagrapher was finding it hard to see but told me there was a heartbeat. We were over the moon but had to go back in for internal scan during this we were told baby had not developed properly, skull, enlarged stomach and fluid round organs. Consultant told us that pregnacy was not viable. Been a hard few days as i know baby is still alive and still getting those "need food now" feelings. I wanted surgery as ive been through a mmc before but nhs will not undertake after 12 weeks.

So been for my pill today and feeling very sorry for myself but ive been told they will test the tissue so i might find out why this has happened. Just worried about having the mmc at 13 weeks as last time i was only 6 wks. As anyone got any advise?

Sorry for the long post.

Spider I'm really sorry. V hard to get that far and then find out something is wrong. I hope you get some answers from testing. I'd push for the tests on you as well if you now 'qualify' for NHS testing, though it does sound in this instance like there is something genetic with the baby. Thinking of you

Hi Picardy thanks for the update. We are waiting for the results in 4 weeks before deciding what to do as well. Is it as straightforward in your case that if one of you has a translocation it has a 50% chance of being passed on each time, or more complicated that that?
squiz hope your mum is ok.