The worst things people have said to you or said behind your back after a loss?

[TheNobodies]

I've had a few HEARTLESS things said to me, makes me feel so down. It's only been aimed at me and not my partner, which I'm glad because I cope better.

Some of you know me. I lost my Riley at 23 weeks, April 2012.
Followed by 2 early losses around 6-7 week in August and December 2012.

When I lost Riley I had to sign a form giving permission to break my waters because I was severely ill and could of died of infection. My Dad, Mum, Stepmum, Brother an ofcourse my partner witnesses this and was there through the birth. A month after losing Riley I found out one of my Dad and Stepmums friend said to them that I'm a Murderer and Killed my baby boy. Neither of them told me this and I had to find this out from my stepbrother. My dad denied knowing who said this.

When I lost my 2nd baby I found out my dad said "It was nothing anyway".

And last night me and my mum was on about my sister who keeps stealing saying how much shes upset mum and caused her heartache. My mums reply to this was "You've caused me the most heartache by lossing Riley". She said it like I asked for it. My mum also said a couple of months ago that she and everyone else in the family feel like their walking on eggshells around me!!!!! I asked others in my family about this and they said they didn't feel that way!!

Anyone else had people call them a murder or had anything else bad said to them?

princess

no words

and

I'm sorry for everyone's losses

After loosing my 1st pregnancy (twins) at nearly 20 weeks...

My mother - 'Would you have wanted twins anyway?'
My friend - 'Well at least you can get pregnant.'

Astonishing isn't it?

I miscarried at about 14 weeks and was perfectly ok about it. I had stopped feeling pregnant and was in the frame of mind that it wasn't a baby IYSWIM. I was disappointed but not upset. Everyone found out because i started miscarrying at work and had asked some of my motherly colleagues for advice. It was all fine and low key and my colleagues pitched their concern perfectly. They were supportive but not over the top.

However, one women did point out that I had been playing a lot of sport (swimming, badminton and running). I guess the fact i remember the comment 25 years later must mean that it had bothered me. I felt like she was saying my sport caused the pregnancy to fail.
I dismissed te comment at the time as the lady was usually really kind and helpful. It just shows that you need to be careful what you say.

bread

poor you! it would have bothered me too! especially that it is not true! in fact you are allowed to do most sports in first trimester, even skiing!

afterwards contact sports, stuff like trampolining and upside down yoga are a no-no, but I know women who were cycling way into 3rd trimester!

sorry for your loss - 25 years is a long time to heal, but we'll always miss them!

Thanks zing

Such awful comments, Nobodies.

I had four recurrent miscarriages before my ds was born. I did have some horrid comments. My boss was sympathetic when I returned to work after the first mc but shouted at me so harshly soon afterwards (he was a stroppy bastard) that I had to take more sick leave.

I had a few "there must have been something wrong with it" type comments.

I think the worst was from the office "comedian" (made David Brent look like the patron saint of tact) who made a very loud "joke" that the reason for my four miscarriages was that I was "shagging too much".