Recurrent miscarriage testing and beyond.. Part 6.. Over here!

[orangebowl]

We have filled up the last thread so here is the next.. Deep breath and grit your teeth for the roller coaster of emotions that continues... Hope tea and butterfly and all find it!

Lovely meanings behind your names. Mine, more prosaically, was because on the TTC after MC thread we decided it was lucky to have a 'B' name, and my previous name was messtins. It could fit nicely into your "bun in the oven" theme though, squiz.
I'm not doing well today, panicking about scan tomorrow. I'm convinced there is no HB and only progesterone is propping up a failing pregnancy. I'm not sure I can bear to do this again if that's the case.

That is natural. Try to be positive but bear in mind it's SO hard to be so just take it easy on yourself. In fact in one book I read (Coming To Term by Jon Cohen) he quotes a psychologist who pretty much sums it up as a list of behaviours found in RM women when pregnant: belief it won't work, symptom checking, knicker checking, sense of impending doom... such a shame more Docs don't read it!! Because to me it's so common and so unavoidable for those of us pregnant after MC it should be right up there with boob pain, morning sickness and peeing.
Deeeeeep breaths and best of luck with the scan. Hope there's a bean in there growing away and wondering what the fuss is about!! :)

(I've now NC so many times, it's twentythirteen, chandlierforagirl, here. Sorry guys)

I've been following the thread but not been able to participate lately. Just wanted to say though that I didn't realise you had a scan tomorrow until your latest post Bakingtins, it's times like this that we all have to be brave. Please come back and let us know how you get on.

Hi PaciardyThird and DasiyBell1, I don't hink I've been on much since you joined. Squizita, I've been sorry to read how hard things are for you at the moment and am glad you're getting some information now. Hope you're feeling ok Tea? Hope the wedding planning is going well Butterfly? Hi LandsN!

Good luck Baking! I feel nervous for you - I bloody hate scans! I'm already scared for mine and don't even have a date! Wish they could just come to your house to do it as I find the hospital environment really adds to the stress. Ugh. Anyway keeping everything crossed. Let us know how you get on.

Hi Twenty! (Hard to think of you as anything else ). How are you doing? How do you feel?

I'm ok although think the progesterone has given me thrush (sorry tmi!) which is really annoying as worrying about having it/treating it. Keep googling and scaring myself with the stats. Just want to go to sleep at wake up at 20 weeks!!!

Ugh tea how annoying to have thrush. I'm squirming just thinking about it. How horrid you're not allowed conventional medication. Are there any natural remedies (natural yoghurt, white vinegar in a warm bath) that could be used or are they a no-no too?

Fingers crossed for today, Baking.

No good news for me. Fetus too small for dates and no heartbeat. I have to have another scan in a week but there is no doubt about the dates so MC no4 is on the way. Utterly shit.

Oh god Baking I'm so so sorry. I've been waiting to hear.. It's truly shit. Horrid. Heartbreaking. not sure quite what else to say... Hope you are being looked after. Thinking of you. X

Oh no Baking I'm so so sorry and so sad for you. I've been thinking about you all morning & was praying it was going to be ok for you. You poor thing. It's just so shit and unfair. There are no words. Sending you a big hug. Please keep coming back on here to let us know how you are doing xxx

Oh no Baking, I am so terribly sorry to hear that. How awful. Just horrible.

Oh Baking so sorry :( was hoping it would be good news for you it's so unfair that this is happening to you again. Thinking of you & sending a hug xx

Oh no, Baking. Just no.

I'm so, so, so sorry. xxx

The consultant says she thinks I'm "superfertile" is that a fucking joke?? and my uterus accepts embryos that should never get as far as implanting. She says she thinks I can carry the right embryo to term, but she can't say when/if there will be a decent one. Anyone else ever been told that?
How long do you carry on? When do you decide just to call it a day? The last pregnancy (MC March) was supposed to be our last chance, then I really wanted to have ruled out the possibilities of there being something treatable, which we have. We've been trying for baby 3 for nearly 2 years and all it has brought us is heartbreak and financial ruin £150 to be told you have a dead baby
Is there anything else we should have done before we throw in the towel?

Baking I've been told I'm probably super fertile, you do feel like saying are you fucking kidding me?! Consultant said to me if you have the strength to carry on eventually you will get there which is easy for them to say they aren't going through all the heartbreak. I do think though as long as you have a little bit of strength left and the overwhelming desire to have a baby you should carry on I think you will know when enough is enough. After the last 2mc I have said that's it I can't do it anymore but slowly the urge returns.
We have asked about ivf with pre imlantation screening I thought well surely that will get a healthy one but she said we don't need it and it's not as straightforward as you think, you do get to the point though that you would do anything. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking I'm so sad for you baking I really am xx

Baking I've wondered about the super fertility thing too. For every pregnancy except this one I've got pregnant the first try. Last year it happened twice when we only dtd once. That's not normal I'm sure. Lots of women with rmc say the same. Although conversely apparently mc is also more common in women who take longer than a year to conceive. I also have a friend who got pregnant twice first time, once by accident and has 2 healthy children. So super fertility doesn't always mean mc. But it is an interesting theory. I've read they're looking at how to identify women who are super fertile but rather unhelpfully they don't seem to be near finding a 'cure'. Although I vaguely remember reading about some vitamin helping but can't remember which - & we both take so many I would be surprised if we've not got it covered!

In terms of next steps only you know how far you will go. As you've got 2 healthy children the chances are that if you keep going you'll get another baby. But it's whether you can cope. I can't remember which hospital you're under but my next steps would be St Mary's for more thorough clotting tests as I'm convinced my local hospital did them wrong and I'd also go down the nk cells route. Lots of women on MN are under Mr Shehata at the Miscarriage Clinic but there's also Prof Quenby & various others. There seems to be a disagreement between professionals about whether to do blood nk cells or uterine nk cells. But the treatment is steroids. I just wasn't sure as they have side effects but mr Shehata has a high success rate. Means spending lots more money though.

It's so hard though especially this limbo week. If you have an erpc get the tissue tested so you can see if it has a chromosomal abnormality as that would shed light on the unfussy uterus theory.

I have also wondered... I get pregnant very easily, like POAS, one or two BDs, BFP. And all the women in my family always have.. Sadly it's staying pregnant that's the problem of course. A couple of docs suggested my body accepts embryos which wouldn't implant on someone less receptive. The irony being if this is the case, I'd have been pregnant sooner with a less receptive uterus?!?

Echoing all of you. I found reports on that 'super-fertility' research a couple of weeks ago. Pregnancies tend to happen on the first or second cycles for us. I was getting seriously worried because this latest one took four. And I've never tracked ovulation, just covered as much of my presumed fertile period as poss.

I honestly can't answer re how long to go on for. I am struggling so much atm that I wonder and wonder about calling it a day. I do really wish, in many ways, that I didn't actually want another baby. But imagining up to 10 years of using contraception and not really wanting to, or wondering 'what if' - no, can't do that either. Quite frankly, it's shit either way. [hug]

I saw your post, btw, baking, on another thread re folic acid. if you at any stage want me to, I can get 5mg tablets here and send some to you. Just let me know.

Sorry to stalk, Baking - just seen your other thread, you poor love. Have you read Coming to Term? I have over recent weeks and despite the pain found it a fascinating read. It really does illustrate how the stats aren't necessarily as simple all that and whole areas of miscarriage are a mystery.

We've had it put to us that it's not just the clotting issues in our case. I think my drs thought as soon as they found the FVL and MTFHR that that would be it - which, of course, would be the simple explanation.

Ordered it from Amazon after someone else recommended it. I'm famous amongst my friends for having "a book for everything" and have a well thumbed copy of Lesley Regan's book already.

We tried for about 12m for the baby we lost in October, but to start with we weren't trying very hard Iyswim and I was still breastfeeding DS2. Once I stopped I was pregnant pretty quickly and I guess having got pregnant + MC 3 times in 8 months it isn't taking v long, really. There doesn't seem tobe any suggestion that there is anything you can do about being "superfertile" though?

picardy Yes I second 'Coming To Term'. Such an insightful book (and reassuringly makes you feel a bit less crazy because MC makes everyone crazy).

Baking how do you feel today?

I don't think there is much you can do about superfertility. I've read some people saying only dtd at the time of ovulation but I did that last year and it didn't work. I'm sure I've also read about progesterone maybe helping but you took that.

I keep finding loads of stories of women having multiple mc and still going on to have a baby even without treatment. It's so hard but I'm trying to believe its possible.

Tea yes- I think superfertility is one of the theories which explains that. It's hard to believe but the people saying it are scientists and doctors both NHS and private who wouldn't mess us around (on principal I will never use a private doc who poo-poos it because I think h/she is scaring women into paying for his/her services). It does happen. TLC is also important - if the NHS don't offer it, some Drs/Midwives suggest an acupuncturist or similar because that feeling of TLC seems to improve chances. Mysterious but true!
It's so frustrating though to conceive then lose and suspect superfertility... because instead of ONE childless month and an AF, a superfertile woman would maybe have 10 weeks of pregnancy then 8 weeks recovery from MC. So it's worse (I feel) than people who take 6 months to a year (so slow but not awful) to conceive then have a baby - women with choosy wombs- because (to take my example) 12 cycles till the 'right egg' might be 2 or 3 years and several MCs, whereas if I rejected weak eggs at conception any bad eggs would just come out as an AF and I would be none the wiser. Bah! I'm almost hoping the tests bring up something 'wrong' with me... because then I know e.g. your chance will improve from x to y...

Not great. Didn't sleep really. I've been into work this morning but it hasn't been busy enough to take my mind off it. Have been in touch with EPU but they won't do anything until I go in for 2nd scan in a week, won't provisionally book surgery so will have to wait again. Have explained I really want ERPC this time, partly because my natural miscarriages have landed me in hospital 2 times out of 3 anyway, partly because I want "products" tested, but that holds no sway.

Oh Baking its so shit.

Do you have private healthcare? I managed to get mine to cover my last erpc. Although the wait was still longer than the nhs where I had my first erpc. Where I live now there's a wait I think.

I hope you manage to take your mind off it. Must be so frustrating as you can't even drink & eat what you want incase next weeks scan is ok.

Sending big hugs.