having a mc, atm going down the expectant route, should i be putting something in the toilet when i go to the loo, like a bedpan?

[whiteandyelloworchid]

as i don't want the baby to dissapear down the toilet really.

i suppose i could put some tissues doen the loo first, before going for a wee etc

i don't actually have anybed pans of course, but was thinking what else should i or could i use?

I'm so sorry. Do you have a washing up bowl you could use?

Hey OP

I'm really sorry for your loss firstly, and hope to offer you some advice, albeit practical advice. Don't worry about a bedpan, just take notice of when you go to the toilet so that if you start to feel anything coming out, you may be able to retrieve it before it goes into the toilet. Wear a big sanitary towel obviously and if you feel large clots coming out, then have a look if you want to. I had a mc at 7 weeks and didn't see anything, just blood clots of varying sizes.

Hope you weren't far along, please take it easy and be prepared for emotions you didn't expect. MC's are different for everyone and I for one thought I was fine when really I wasn't. Hope all goes well for you

i dont have a washing up bowl, but i have a plastic mixing bowl

i should have been 12+2 today they think it died about a week or two ago, so it will be the size of a 10 0r 11 week old baby/fetus, so i'm preparing myself to pass something that looks like a baby.unless it just breaks down into small bits?
terrified i might see just a foot or hnd or something

i'm so terriffied atm, i can't really even hardly think of our loss, ive kicked into survial mode as i need to survice passing this

i'm just abput to try and go to bed, i'm going to take some paracetamol and codeine

I lost at 8 or 9 weeks... was all big clots and i couldnt really see anything identifiable

did you prefer not seeing anything identifiable?

i don't know whats worse, not getting to see baby/fetus or actually seeing it.

Be kind to yourself and trust in your body to do what it needs to do. The pain can be very intense and in my experience it's worse than labour pains, so plenty of painkillers and fluids. Bed rest is a must and no lifting, strenuous activity at all. Don't be scared, it's only your baby and it passed away a while ago so even if it isn't in one piece, that's just the way the body expels it and you have to just relax and let it happen. x

I was in so much pain I dont recall caring about what I saw at the time. I just remember a massive crampy contraction like a period pain and lumps of what looked like liver dropping in the loo. Sorry if that is TMI

I do remember being relieved when the pain stopped so quick after the lumps passed.

Days later the sadness hit me.

The sadness hit me a few weeks later I think. Then I properly grieved and let myself cry. I felt a lot better and was pretty desperate to try for another baby. I had dd the next year and feel healed by her arrival. Its such a personal time and as I said, it's different for everyone.

i don't even think the loss has hit me at all yet

ive just kicked into trying to survive pssing the mc and hoping nothing gets retained.

So sorry for your loss.

You will definitely see the placenta- if you look. The baby will likely be an inch or so long, and complete, the limbs will be short so wouldn't detach.

You could use a sieve for reassurance but it's more likely you'll be aware when the tissues are ready to come out. You'll have labour pains before your cervix opens. It'll be bad period-like pains. Get paracetamol and a hot water bottle and heavy duty sanitary towels so you're ready. PM me if you want to.

Do whatever feels right and try to be gentle with yourself. If you want to look, look. If you want to retrieve the baby do that. You can have a place to keep it while deciding what to do (e.g. a small box.) Find your own way to grieve, it doesn't matter how others did it.

I'm off to bed now, but do what we advised OP and don't be frightened of anything. Your body had it's own reasons for the mc itself and needs to do what it can to help it pass through. Be prepared for some pain and intense cramping, put the tv on and open the window for some air. Fluids and fresh fruit, grapes are good, make sure you nourish yourself. May also be an idea to have a bucket or bowl near the bed if you get a bit sick with cramps etc.
Take it easy and we're all thinking of you xxx

I've had mc's between 8 and 17 weeks, all different but I don't believe you will pass anything that resembles what you are imagining.

Look after yourself and give yourself quiet time to grieve, if someone offers to cook then accept it!

I know it sounds lame but you,yourself wil be fine.

I'm now lying in bed next to dh who's sleeping,thinking how can u sleep

You poor thing, I can really sympathise.

In my experience, I have never seen anything identifiable, so try not to worry. I have, however, given the 'products of pregnancy' to hospital for testing as have had reoccurring mcs. Not sure if this is something you feel you want to do?

I hope that you managed to get some sleep. Sending big hugs and a cup of Horlicks.

Oh thanks got some sleep from about 1am till 4am till medication wore off

Just took some more paracetamol n codeine

Bit scared to go to the loo

My immense sympathies. It's so hard to go home and be expected to miscarry. I felt so abandoned while it was going on.

I was told I could use both paracetamol & codeine and ibuprofen, with a two hour gap between the different painkillers, and of course a four hour gap between the same painkillers (if that makes sense at this time of the morning).

I also just saw liver type product. I was terrified when I went to the loo, but I didn't see anything identifiable at 10 weeks. I also had very strong contraction pains and so knew when I was going to see something emerge. I did just let it all go into the loo, and I think that was fine for me. I was in no fit state to do anything else though.

Have they given you an appointment for a scan in two weeks to check there are no products left? I'm sure there won't be. But it will put your mind at rest.

Thanks for your advice, they are seeing me Tue am, to.see how its.all.going

Unless they are thinking if she's not passed it by then they will.try to.encourage me to have the medical.option or.surgical?.they will scan me a week.after they think its.passed
I said.I.don't.want an.internal.scan,.theybsaid I.can have an. Abdominal scan but internal.are.a lot.more.accurate

I freak out about internal.things

I think it's good that you're being seen on tuesday. I.m sure they won't expect you to have passed it all by then. The second scan will be for that.

No one has to have an internal scan if they don't want to. Don't worry about that now, you poor thing. I have had millions, as we had ivf, where the ladies call it fanny cam! It's a bit uncomfortable but not as embarrassing as you might think, but you choose when the time comes, and you don't have to worry about that tonight. Any dvd you can watch if you can't sleep? Hot water bottle?

I just get so tense with internal.stuff, but ill try not to worry about that yet

I'm considering calling the hospital today for the medical.manaement, that would mean ill take the pills today then go in on Mon to pass the fetus baby

Nit much has happened over night no heavy bleeding but then I've been lying down. must of had a bit of pain as I think that's why I woke up, then painkillers wore off

Thanks for helping me through this

That sounds like a good plan. I think it took at least 24 hours from the first sign of blood to the actual miscarriage, so you've got a lot of time over the weekend for nature to take its course.

So hard to wait for it though. Be nice to yourself this weekend. See if you can doze off on the sofa. You didn't get much sleep. And keep posting if you find it helpful, but don't feel you have to equally. Lots of people will be here to hold your hand.

thanks had a good walk this am to see if that can help speed things along, since getting back ive been having some contartion type pains.
so think i'm going to go for another walk, although shorter this time, and closer to home, see if gravity and being active can help
been passing smaller than pea sized clots but just passed one larger than apea, so is that a good sign if the clots get bigger?

I just wanted to say so sorry for your loss. Walking sounds like a good idea. I found that it did help being upright.