Having a moan :(

[wifey6]

Suffered a MMC in April..we should of been 12+ weeks.
I have struggled with this loss since & to top it off my sister is due 4 days after I would of been :(
My cycles have been late each month so never know when I OV so TTC is now starting to upset me & I feel like giving up.
My DS is wonderful & helps me through the sadness..as has my DH.
Tonight I added some beautiful butterfly lights to my baby's special garden tonight & I completely fell apart...I should be buying baby stuff for my hospital bag..not these for my baby's resting place. :(
I know others are going through much worse..& I apologise & sympathise..I guess I have no RL support so really needed to off-load.
Sorry for the self-pitying thread x

There's always someone going through something worse; doesn't mean what you're going through isn't awful. Your garden sounds like a lovely idea.
Regarding the cycles, temperature charting was the only way I could get an accurate picture of that.

Hi wifey, I'm in exactly the same situation, and it's shite. MMC at 11.5 weeks in June, cycles since then have been totally up the spout.

Not been using contraception but since I'm bleeding half the time & having abnormal AF's (cd 17ffs!!) it's impossible to DTD enough to conceive.

I'm also 40, which doesn't help either, can't ever see it happening

Have just bought more OV strips & bbt from amazon in an attempt to seize control. But am thoroughly fed up. Understand where you're coming from

Thank you iggi & lotsofcheese
lotsofcheese so very sorry for tour loss. Its an awful club to be apart of isnt it? I'm thinking of buying the OPK but that's this big part of me so scared anyway.
iggi....I like to go outside & keep the little garden tidy & fresh with new little things..it's the only way I can care for my baby now x

I am sorry to hear of your loss Wifey I too had a mmc at the same time as my SiL was successfully pg and another 2 friends have babies the same age as mine would have been. We tried for another 18 months (ish - can't remember now) and now have the most gorgeous baby girl, and I still can't believe my luck. I found that I didn't hold a grudge against the babies who arrived around my due date.

Keep trying and try and focus on other stuff - a new fitness routine helped me.

Good luck, it will happen and don't beat yourself up about feeling crap. It is normal.

Oh and brace yourself for when your due date passes, go and see the midwife counsellor if you have one, I did and it did help even though I was very sceptical.

UnBongo...sorry for your loss . Thank you for sharing & your advice. Much appreciated. I run two businesses so they keep me busy & also work part-time..but it's the night times I'm at my worst..so have started doing chores once my DS is in bed x

Thanks everyone for understanding! It's good to have a moan & offload ( in a therapeutic way). I bought two planted bushes for our front doorstep in memory of our 2 lost babies. I like to think that they're "guarding" the house ( god, I sound bonkers!!)

lotsofcheese....absolutely not bonkers at all x it's a lovely thing to do x

Thanks wifey, your garden sounds just lovely too x

Thanks lotsofcheese...my DS likes watering our 'special flowers' & I often just sit there for a sense of closeness...that must sound very odd.

Plus [hugs]

Dont give up, miracles do happen,i have a miracle growing inside me right now as i type. Dont give up x

Thank you nosleep....just feeling fed up already. I know people try for years with no success so I shouldn't be moaning...but just feeling very sad & missing being pregnant with my baby

Ok...not sure when I OVed this month..again, as cycles all over the place..but yesterday & today I have had shooting/pinchy feels in the very,very low stomach area. I had that exactly a week after OV with my last pregnancy..but I daren't start symptom spotting again this month as I have been wrong & upset the last 2 months of doing that.
But...if I was to be symptom spotting (hypothetically....) could it be a good sign?

Oh wifey.. This way lies madness!
But yes, could be a wee implantationy feeling

I know iggi...promised myself I would not do it!!
DH is so laid back about ttc & that's how I am 70% of the time...til the 2WW...then I do go abit POAS happy & symptom spotting!! AAARRRGGHHH!
And the whole time...I am scared of a BFP in case the worst happens yet wanting it so desperately...in case it goes right.
!

Could I place an order for window sill growing pod please?
Had a mmc in June at 12+ weeks and I honestly have never known so many friends announce pregnancies in the short time since, I'm finding it difficult to go and socialise with them and still get very jealous, upset and angry (of course I'm happy for them, especially the ones who themselves have had previous heartache)
I'm very blessed to have 2 beautiful DD's, but then I get sad on their behalf for a lost sibling! We are thinking of ttc again, at first they thought I had had a molar pregnancy and wouldn't be able to try for 6 months (hormone tests) but have now heard it wasn't and we can, but that's a whole other issue I've been getting my head around!
So sorry to find you ladies here too although the company is nice xx

Welcome livismum. It is crap, isn't it? I've had 2 good friends have babies this week - and another 2 due any day now. Just seem to be surrounded by babies at the moment.

I had a molar pregnancy last year; it was a sad & stressful time, so it's good that's not hanging over you now; and you can decide TTC if/when the time is right.

But in the meantime, feel free to offload - it always helps to get it off your chest with people who understand.

livismum....so sorry. I can relate to feeling all those emotions towards friends/family who are expecting.
Offload as much as you need to...we are all here x

STUPID...STUPID...STUPID WIFEY!!!
Just wasted a CD Digi 3-4 days before AF due...of course a BFN!!

Does that mean its a BFN or too early??
Wish I didn't care so much

Digital ones never showed up for me till af due. First response are your friends/enemies in this situation.

I'm a First Response girl too! But have learned (through experience) only to test early if there might be a situation where I'd be drinking alcohol - other than that I wait till day AF is due.

Good luck!! X

Thank you iggi & lots...I'm just having yet another moan!!
Never tried FR...I've used Internet strip tests & last time when I got a positive I used a CB Digi. It was a moment of madness I think..I over-analysing the 'pinchy' pains I had as implantation etc.

Hey wifey don't beat yourself up!! There's nothing wrong with having a bit of hope!! And I understand the feeling of being desperate to be pregnant after a m/c. Hoping you'll have that BFP soon...

Thank you lotsofcheese...
I get waves of excitement about getting pregnant & then I remember..just how badly it went wrong last time...that maybe I'm not cut out for it & I feel so desperately sad & anxious.

Remember most people who have a mc only have one.
Even not so lucky people like me (who had 4) often go on to have a baby, as I have. Keep hoping x

So sorry iggi...feel very insensitive now sorry x