crampy laboury pains, is it starting :(

[funthatisfunny]

Last two days on and off I have been getting crampy pains, to the point where I am expecting spotting (not got any yet) and would definitely call someone if I wasn't already suspecting a mmc (found out last mon, gestational sac dating 4/5 weeks, I should have been 6+6; sent home and am going back for a rescan on thurs).

Today I am getting pains in my uterus and lower back which make me want to walk around and run my 'bump' (gut), like when you are in early labour :( Is this the start? Am really, really scared even though if the baby was only 4 weeks it would only be cells, but it is all the blood and just the unknown I suppose. To say that though, the cramps have gone now and I just feel silly.

if it does start, should i let anyone know? Would I call the doc on Tues and go in for an appt?

Planning wise: I have DH, neurofen and paracetomol, a shite magazine and lots and lots of heavy duty sanitary pads. Should I get anything else?! Also, will the doc likely give me a sick note for all this do you think? Am meant to be working 12 hour days on my PhD thesis this bank hols which is totally tits up. The guilt about that is stifling my ability to cope with my mc tbh. Fucking work.

deep breaths. God, I am dreading not being pregnant :(

Thanks for listening x

rub bump, not 'run' stupid typo

Hi Fun, I am so so sorry to hear about this. I always liked reading your upbeat posts on the nov thread and I just feel so bad for you now.

Anyway, I am not sure I can help much, as my mc started with bleeding (then the scan confirmed there was nothing there) which just got more and more heavy. I was 6.6 weeks (although who knows how long pg had gone on, could be less). It was actually just like a heavy period, starting with (sorry if TMI!) a brownish mucus plug which turned to spotting blood. After a couple of days just having a bit of red when I wiped, I had cramping and then proper bleeding for about 3 or 4 days - but I didn't pass anything that looked scary except small clots and blood, so not really that 'bad' at all. Obviously I am sure it can vary. The whole thing lasted less than a week.
I used heavy duty pads, paracetamol and a hot water bottle on my stomach as I find that helps with period pains. And had a few baths as I hate using pads, and it helped with the tummy pain anyway. I took a couple of days off work though bizarrely felt like a fraud as I felt ok really - just tired. But I used them to be very nice to myself, and went to the pictures during the day, and sat in the garden and just relaxed (I have 2 young DDs too so this does not happen very often!). I also had to go and do a second blood test.

It sounds to me like the cramps might well be the start, but I suppose you might need help to get things going. I didn't have to go back to the EPU, as the blood tests confirmed everything. They didn't warn me about anything and it all seemed pretty straightforward (if miserable!).

I think if you start to bleed and it is looking like a heavy period and not too much pain, then you can probably stay home and rest. If you are worried at all, go to your doctor or local EPU if it will help to put your mind at rest. Did your doc give you an idea of when you can expect bleeding?

RE the sick note - I am sure your doctor will give you one. I didn't need one unless I was a week off work. I didn't tell my boss though because I am worried about promotion (lack of - awful I know). So I ended up saying D&V or something. Don't beat yourself up about your PhD and work plans, some things are more important and I am sure you will be able to juggle your time off.

I did console myself with thinking it was just a bunch of cells that weren't going to work, ifkwim. It probably helped that I only knew for a week or two that I was pg, so I was still not quite believing it anyway. But I did feel glad I knew early and was sure it would be harder if it had been the 12 week scan or beyond.

Take care of yourself, rest up and I am sure your positive attitude is helping you get through. You can try again, and will have another baby I am sure of it! Oh and eat easter eggs!

Sorry for epic post!

booboo you cannot possibly apologise for spending your time helping me out :) Thank you so much :)

i am very positive about it, I know that this is all part of me being a mother, and that my body has decided this pregnancy is not viable - whatever I want to happen, as a mother I have to let this happen and know that I will always take the shit for my child. Still all very sad though. My pregnancy with DS was sooooo straightforward and just lovely, this is the opposite and has really surprised me!

Noooo docs not said anything, not even a leaflet :( They thought my dates were wrong so sent me home for ten days even though I wrote out my dates for them and asked how, possibly, could an empty gestational sac dating 4/5 weeks be my 6+6 baby. I have no bleeding yet but am just waiting. Daren't leave house, can't concentrate on anything... I had bad constant crramping at 4 weeks and the doc sent me to EPAU in case it was eptopic which is why I had a scan at 6 weeks... I thought she was overreacting and it was just house growing pains, but no guess she was right.

Just a waiting game. want wine, DP sensibly says no. it ain't over till the fat lady sings eh.

Take care boo
x

ps: I can't take any time off PhD unless I suspend my course which needs a death in the family to do (tick box). I submit in 6 weeks and have an absolute ton to do - every day counts - so if I can get a sick note I can stop work now and make up the time when I am supposed to be 'off' with that. Is a complete nightmare :( Oh well, I really doubt they would decide not to award me my PhD after all this time because I needed some time off now. I just hate asking for favours, but me and mine must come first. better now :)

It's such a horrid situation, I totally feel for you. I was grateful for the bleed as there was no doubt for me. But I was surprised how blunt the scan midwife was in the EPU - just 'there's nothing there' - it's a bit gutting to say the least. I didn't get a leaflet or anything either - just spoke to them on the phone after the blood tests came back and they were very perfunctory. Though part of me thought if they had been sympathetic I might have turned into an emotional wreck so maybe it was for the best!

I am not surprised you can't concentrate - can you watch a film or something? Pregnancy hormones are pretty strong and they certainly don't help with the emotional side of it. I did find cuddling up to my DDs was helpful, as it made me really appreciate them. Like you, those pregnancies had been straightforward so it was reassuring to know I can do it!

I did have wine - quite a bit (though I didn't fancy too much) but that was after the initial bleed and scan and it was all looking very doubtful. I also don't think wine would make any difference myself, but do what you feel is right. Chocolate?

I also found myself thinking a lot about my dear dad who died suddenly about a year ago. I don't know why really, but when I cried it was thinking about that rather than lost baby. Maybe it was easier to think about someone I knew than something I wished for, as it were. I don't know.

Anyway, I really hope there is positive news for you so maybe you should lay off the wine and keep busy if there is anything you can do (washing up? have a bath, watch a film, do some gardening, cuddle DS?) I am keeping fingers crossed for you. xx

PS Definitely get the sick note for work. I never take time off work, and like I say, I could have actually gone in, but I thought - No, this is about me and my body and I'm bloody well going to indulge. Obviously you've got a stack of work to do, but if you can get signed off for more than you need to allow a gentle work programme, that would be ideal. I am sure any doctor would do it. Good luck!

yeah, I agree, am not drinking wine because whatever is going on I need to love that wee bubs first, and look after me second. When it is over for sure I shall indulge :) Until then, pathetic as it is, I hope and I hope and I hope; I am bubs' mother first and foremost. Even without bleeding though, these cramps are very worrying.

I'm surprised at your scan lady. That's just awful. mine was very gentle and even offered to show my the (empty) sac and was surprised when I said yes (of course I would, information is power!) Scan lady was telling me it might be too early to see the baby and it just may be a bit small for my dates. I was going on and on about my dates at her and i thought maybe it was just me cause she wouldn't budge - until after I came out and was in the corridor waiting to see the doc and the assistant (who had been in there too, along with another lady who was teaching my sonographer how to use the fucking machine. And another lady was shouting through the door 'that's my machine you've got'! What a nightmare) and she stroked my arm and said I should look after myself. then I knew they must have been chatting behind my back and decided it was all fucked for me.

YES will def get sicknote. I didn't take time off for the death of my Dad even, but this I desperately need. My DS has woken from his nap, I do totally feel better with him :) Am off, to wander lonely as a cloud... And hope, and knicker check, and hope...

It is interesting that you focused on your Dad during your mc. Maybe you still had some sadness to unlock and that was a catalyst. In that way, your baby might have made you stronger. Aw.

take care boo, you are lovely. Wouldn't it be ace if we ended up on the same board (with foof and co bien sur!) in a month or two, all with our happy endings :)

So sorry that you are going through this :(

I packed a small hospital bag just in case there were any problems: a change of clothes, a few pairs of old knickers, pads, a towel, a book, night clothes, dressing gown, slippers, phone charger, book and some snacks. I let friends know what was happening so that they could be on standby to look after DS and/or feed cat. I also was hungrier than expected, so second time around I stocked up on easy to prepare food.

Also, as it's a bank holiday, you might consider getting the OOH doc to write a prescription for stronger painkillers for you now, before the pharmacies close. I don't know if there will be anywhere open tomorrow. It's better to have them and not need them than to not have them and have to go to A&E for some. You can get the out of hours doctor's number by calling your own surgery - it will be on their answering machine.

x

BTW -there are stronger painkillers that are safe for you to take (I got codeine). It's understandable that you want to be careful.

Hey you x

I know we've been staying in contact privately but just marking my place and showing my support

I'd completely agree with browneyesblue about painkillers, i took 2x 30/500 co-codamols which I take quite effectively for my back problem and it didn't do much more than take the edge off the cramps, so I dread what they'd have been like without it.

get yourself some munchy bits too, you might not feel like eating a lot but you do need something especially when you start to lose blood and keep up your fluids too.
What happened with your family going away this weekend? assuming cancelled?

Been tied up with Easter pizza making.

Fun - yes, there is a due in... thread just waiting for us all to join in the future! xx

We'll have to have a and [shagging] thread :)

YAY wine and shagging thread :) Not like a roman orgy though, that would be weird. There is a ttc thread like that actually and the ladies seem reet nice (i lurked for a while) but they are also all very familiar with each other so I was too shy to butt in.

Yes, will pack an overnight bag, thank you brown.

As far as painkillers go brown and foo I didn't think to bother OOH doc. I wouldn't do that unless I was actually dying I don't think! DH went back to the pharmacy and asked for whatever they could give and they gave him advice about doubling up on this and that and said that I could take more than the recommended dose of stuff (he knows the figures, my eyes glazed over :)) Think am allergic to codeine as it gave me the worst migraine of my life ever when I took it, it was much worse than the pain i took it for! I do dread the pain indeedy but hope because it is a Blighted Ovum rather than, ahem, foetus it should be, erm, easier to bear but that is me making that up.

I am weirdly hungry today and my house is stocked with pizzas, dips and chips and ice cream! I sound about 5! It reminds me of the day before the evening I went into labour. like my body is gearing up, saying eat, fuel, rest. Am all shaky and shivery and dizzy :( Not really badly though, just a bit seasicky but have been like that all through this pregnancy :(

Right! must entertain DS and get him bathed and in bed so I can switch off, eat and watch BGT and continue to knicker check. Yay for bank holiday funtimes.

liking the wine and shagging thread (though i have been on my own personal wine thread for 2 weeks now!)

Anything happened yet funnygirl? x

NO nothing to report! Had a better day all round because I took it VERY EASY like a good girl :) Can't help but hope; what a dumbass...

happy easter peeps x

bah pregnancy symptoms vanished today. feel tickety-boo rather than all updiffed and shite like I have. Cramping even when in bed and asleep and just cannot 'hear' this baby at all. tis over in my mind.

Scan tomorrow morning... am completely resigned to the fact that this is a non-starter and busy thinking about what I am going to do as a non-pregnant person (drink shitloads of wine, exercise a bit, work a bit, and get preggo again ;0)). I hope to have this all done and dusted over the weekend. Knowing will be a relief now I am resigned to the fact I am not really pregnant. I can't wait to feel proper again, instead of like a mardy ghost person - too pregnant to enjoy stuff like pate and wine and running about, not pregnant enough to believe my bump isn't a cruel joke and growing a baby :(

Obviously if they tell me I am pregnant I will shout and jump for joy but, the way I feel at the mo, I will probably swear and tell them to have a proper look ;0)

laters y'all. hope people are well x

ghost person - that's so apt.

We're spread over so many threads and pms now i can't keep up so apologies for not posting on here sooner!

hehe I know! Nae worries, I was just chatting away to myself :)

Will probably be on the ttc thread mostest now, unless mc takes me horribly by surprise and I need the help of these lovely peeps. Want to move forwards and talk about positive stuff and new BFPs :)

:)

hey fun & foof,
I was wondering how you were getting on fun. I'm really sorry the symptoms seem to have gone, and I'll be thinking about you tomorrow at the scan. Hope you manage to sleep a bit tonight, and let us know how you get on. (I still have a little bit of hope for you). x

Thinking of you fun, and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

It feels like I'm bitching and whinging on so many threads at the mo, so sorry I haven't been back to this one sooner.

I hope I don't see you on the conception boards (IYKWIM), but am planning on heading there myself soon.

ha, zonked out last night after thikning I'll never get to sleep :) Still pregnant enough to need to sleep! never fret brown you not whiny.

No baby at scan, bigger sac but 19mm instead of the magic 20mm so they can't say it is non-viable yet and get things moving! SO I have to GO BACK in ten days for another scan, get a bigger empty sac measurement and THEN be allowed to mc! I couldn't believe my ears. DH is well pissed off, we had hoped to have this business behind us this weekend and move on with our lives. Another ten days. Chuh. i suppose I just hope that I naturally miscarry in this time - my crampy pains are more regular/constant and my symptoms are definitely subsiding but still, I have to take DS places and go to the childminder etc and what if I start miscarrying?! Stressful.

Got a month off uni so deadline and PhD is safe which is something. Dr was really sympathetic and basically wanted me to have as much time off as I wanted. I start back after a wedding DH and I are going away for together minus DS so that will be something to mark our 'new' future and put all this behind us.

Glad to know, nothing like as upset as when first found out, just frustrated! Going to exercise too much to get things going I reckon.

laters peeps
x

Posted on other one but second opinion is it worth a shot? I can't believe this mishandling of your situation, it's a lot to ask a woman to wait another 10 days for fuck all reason really.

Am on your behalf.

How awful and frustrating! As Foof says, 10 days really is a lot to ask.

I completely understand the urge/need to get things moving, but don't push yourself too hard. The last thing you need is to run yourself into the ground.

Hope you and your DH are taking care of yourselves. x