This is my first ever post on an internet forum. I had a miscarriage on 17th November at 12 weeks 2 days pregnant. This was my first pregnancy after 11 months of ttc. I was so excited about this baby. I had already researched baby cinema, baby yoga classes and baby swimming classes. In my head this baby was a girl although we never found out because our scan was booked for 5 days after I miscarried and by the time we had a scan there was nothing there just "clots" according to the radiographer.
I'm haunted by the memory of all the blood, the feeling of my husband's hand whilst they were doing the scan, the two of us walking back down the corridor after we found out there was no baby anymore. You know how a scan picture is supposed to look don't you, you see them on friends Facebook profile pictures all the time! and where there should be a baby - just nothing.
I've just had to come home from work because I was on the verge of crying in the office and just didn't feel like I could hold it together any longer today. So I thought I would use the time to try and understand what has happened/is happening to me.
When I first started to bleed which was late at night I found that I was needing to wee every 10 minutes or so. This went on all through the night. Did this happen to anyone else and can anyone explain what causes this?
Does anyone else feel like their whole body hurts? Mine feels bruised and is really sensitive to the touch although to look at I look perfectly normal.
Did anyone else feel sad to see their body change? I know I should probably have expected it but none of the doctors we saw warned me. I found that a few days after I started bleeding my tummy had gone flat again and now I'm sure that my breasts are smaller than they were before I even got pregnant. I feel small and really sad. I keep thinking that by now I should have a little bump and I find myself looking in the mirror missing the body that I was going to have if that makes sense.