Don't know what to expect next, poss mc/ ectopic?

[whenskiesaregrey]

I have my dates as I would expect to be 7-8 weeks pregnant this week. Had postive preg test about 3 weeks ago.

I had red spotting last week over 3 seperate days which has now stopped and the odd mild twinge. Tbh, I don't have painful periods, so have no idea what 'period like cramps' feel like. Rang EPU last week and went in for a scan this morning. They couldn't see anything abdominally, so trying transvaginal scan and they could only see a sac, no yolk, measuring about 4 weeks.

The options the have given me are that I have mixed my dates up and the pregnancy is a lot newer than I thought (although in this case, I can't see how I would have tested positive 3 weeks ago??); that the pregnancy has not developed more than 4-5 weeks, or I'm having an ectopic pregnancy. They also said they could see fluid in my pelvis, and are testing for 'other things' that they were very vague about (and have made me even more worried). I had a hcg blood test and fbc taken this morning, and have to return in 48 hours for a repeat hcg. Then they should know what is happening.

The wait is killing me. I had to wait since Thurs for the scan, and I thought today we would finally know what is happening. Can anyone tell me what we can expect to happen over the next few days? I was meant to be starting a new job on Monday too, and I don't know what to tell them. What will happen if it is ectopic?

All I want to do is go and get my son from nursery and hold him :(

Obviously I don't know the first thing about your husband. But from what you have said, he sounds lovely. It could be that he is more upset than you think, but is being strong for you as he knows it's hit you harder. As you say, he keeps his feelings to himself generally and if he knows you do too he probably doesn't want to make things any harder for you by bringing it up.

If you feel as though you want to talk it through with him, tell him how you feel. It might be he feels the same loss as you or it might not. If he isn't as upset, it doesn't mean he's not understanding how you feel though.

It's lovely you've bought an angel for your bracelet. I intend to buy a couple for mine but haven't been able to face it yet.

It's really important to talk about it together so he understands how your are feeling. It might be that he doesn't feel the same way and is just relieved that you are ok. He was probably very worried about you when the ectopic was suspected. Mine was also the being strong type and at first it upset me, it was like "why are you seemingly not upset about this at all when I am heartbroken?". But mostly he was worried about me and found it difficult having to see me going through so much at the hospital. Perhaps it isn't so much that yours in numbed to things as such, just that after what he has been through, he is relieved that it is nothing worse.

The miscarriage association have a pdf leaflet called Men and Miscarriage and some of that is about understanding how your wife is feeling at the time and the range of emotions she is going through. Although I'm sure men do get sad about losing a baby, it just isn't quite the same for them in many ways.

Your angel charm sounds like a lovely way to remember your baby.

The last thing I want to do is portray him as uncaring, because he is, I just genuinely don't think he is as upset about it. I might see about getting that leaflet kat, will email it to him. I think you are right, I think he is very relieved its not more serious, as I was. But now the relief has subsided, he seems in a better place than me.

I don't know if I contribute to it myself though. When I'm upset I tell him I want to be alone. After the second scan it really upset me the whole experience if being scanned whilst bleeding, and having a consultant in the room, and the whole morbid feeling of it all. After it, he went to hug ne straight away and I just said 'don't'. Poor man. When I'm upset, the barriers come up and then i wonder why people aren't forthcoming with condolence.

Scarlet I hope you find the strength soon if its something you will get comfort from.

Kat, congratulations on today, saw you post on the other thread, but can't post on there just at the mo.