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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Going into hospital on Thursday

29 replies

deemented · 19/04/2011 12:58

To have pesseries to open my cervix so it opens and expels whats left of the miscarraige i had.

Had a scan today and it showed that there is still 'products of conception' that hasn't come away. Apparently it's not enough to warrant a D&C, and i have the option of waiting three weeks to see if it comes away on it's own.

I feel i can't do that. I need to know that it's all over and done with.

I've to be there in the morning, and it'll take about six hours they said.

Has anyone else had this done? And how was it for you?

OP posts:
Original poster
deemented · 19/04/2011 14:14

bump - anyone?

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CheeseandGherkins · 19/04/2011 18:55

Sorry to hear you're going through this :( It must be horrible having to go through that after your loss :( I was "lucky" enough to have complete miscarriages but I was induced with my daughter in Dec (stillborn 37 weeks, we knew a few days before) and it worked well/wasn't really too painful. I had to have 2 lots of the gel, I assume it's the same thing they'll use for you? I had mild contractions all night then ended up having another lot the next day (refused one in the night) and then it all kicked off a few hours after that.

I don't know if that will help you or not but I hope a little. I hope it's fast and as painless as possible :(

meliesmummy · 19/04/2011 19:31

Hello

Firstly I'm sorry for your loss.

I had a medically managed mc 2 months ago. I was given an oral drug to stop my body from producing progesterone, then 2 days later I went in for the pessaries. I was allowed to insert them myself, they took a few hours to kick in properly. I had to use a bedpan every time I needed the toilet and keep all the pads I used. First of all I bled very heavily, and then I passed some huge clots and tissue. I needed 2 more oral doses of the drugs to make sure that everything was out. After that I bled for about another week, then lightly for another week after that. It was painful, but I was given co codamol and volterol in hospital.

Good luck x

Original poster
deemented · 19/04/2011 20:03

Thank you both - and i'm so sorry for what you've been through. It's so bloody unfair.

I mc mostly on the Sunday night - huge clots and lots and lots of blood. I then bled til Saturday just gone, and nothing since then. I'm wondering if i'll bleed heavily this time?

I'm scared because i have to do it all on my own - Manshape needs to stay home to look after our DC.

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mumatron · 19/04/2011 20:15

*deea I have had this. If you have passed most of it already you probably won't bleed too much. But everyone is different.

Best advise is to wear something comfy. Take a few pairs of knickers and plenty to read.

Try and stay on the bed for aslong as possible after putting the tablets in.when I had mine the tablets fell out, undissolved, after an hour.

  • hope it goes as quick and painlessly as possible.

Will be thinking of you dee

CheeseandGherkins · 19/04/2011 20:19

Is there noone at all that could look after your dc? Hate to think of you going through that alone

Original poster
deemented · 19/04/2011 20:26

My dad will be looking after DS2, but DD has a stinking cold atm, and DS3 is a very clingy 15 month old and this will be the first time i've been away from him for any length of time - he's usually BF on demand and refuses to drink from anything other than me. TBH i think i'd rather Manshape be there looking after them then be with me - i'd only be worrying if my dad was coping etc.

And thanks mamatron- thats really helpful.

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mumatron · 19/04/2011 20:29

Oh, I missed that you would be alone.

Tbh I opted to go it alone both times. I suppose it's different if don't want to be alone though. Can't manshapes mum help out? iirc there has been issues with her in the past but maybe under the circumstances?

Original poster
deemented · 19/04/2011 20:33

No, we haven't told her and tbh there's no way i'd leave her in charge of an animal let alone my children! Smile

I'll be fine though.

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mumatron · 19/04/2011 20:39

I thought you might say something like that!

You really will be fine. It's a shitty thing to go through, but you will come out the other side of it.

CheeseandGherkins · 19/04/2011 22:19

I wish I lived closer dee as I'd offer to help but Cambridge is a way off from where your profile says :(

How are you feeling now?

mumatron kind of, hehe, thanks for asking :) hope lo is doing well also.

Original poster
deemented · 19/04/2011 22:33

I'm ok. A little panicky when i think about it so am trying not to think about it Smile

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CheeseandGherkins · 19/04/2011 23:24

Not sure if you're into the herbal stuff but rescue remedy has worked for me, it's been useful for me. Whether it's it's a placebo effect or not, if it works it works. Hope you're not doing too badly, been thinking of you

LIG1979 · 19/04/2011 23:42

Good luck for tomorrow Dee. x

mumatron · 21/04/2011 09:05

Good luck for today dee

Hope your not in there too long.

Original poster
deemented · 22/04/2011 00:02

It didn't work.

I've to go back next week for a D&C.

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mumatron · 22/04/2011 04:38

Sorry to hear that dee.

Have you had a d&c before?

Original poster
deemented · 22/04/2011 08:45

No i haven't.

Fuck, i can't grow a baby properly, and now i can't get rid of it either. Fucked up body.

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mumatron · 22/04/2011 14:15

Mother nature is a bitch dee

Fwiw the erpc is quick and relatively painless. When I had one for retained products I barely bled afterwards.

Original poster
deemented · 22/04/2011 14:23

That's good to know, mumatron - i'm sory you've had to go through it too.

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MandaHugNKiss · 22/04/2011 18:17

dee Stop being so bloody harsh on yourself - unless you took part in every conceivable risky behaviour with wanton abandon then it's pretty safe to say you are not directly to blame for what is happening.

Ok, let me put it this way - would you suggest any of us here, having suffered a loss (or multiple losses) and complications afterwards, have fucked up bodies? No, of course you wouldn't - so STOP DOING IT TO YOURSELF!

I bet you've advised people going through shit times to be kind to themselves, to give themselves a break... why not extend that kindness to your own situation?

Yup, it's a shit, bewildering time when you have a miscarriage. Bereft tears one minute, raging anger at everything the next, periods of nothing when The Numbness settles over you for a while... always, always the 'why'?

I'm so so sorry for your loss; I wish it could have been a simpler end, given that it has ended... but you're wrong to blame yourself.

I'm only three weeks today from a medically managed mmc at 16+ weeks. My fucked up body decided to try and kill me afterwards by hemorrhaging (hello, emergency erpc), but you know what? I've made my peace with (my body), even though yesterday I've had to start grotty antibiotics that I can't go in the sun with (and it's a glorious weekend ahead!) as I seem to have developed a post op infection. Maybe it was a brush with death that hastened my forgiveness, I don't know, but I do know that none of us here that wanted and loved out lost ones, none of us should be blaming ourselves. Including you!

Wishing you will feel better soon.

BalloonSlayer · 22/04/2011 18:29

That's a lovely post, Manda

It brought back memories of my m/cs, many years ago, I felt just like that.

Sorry Dee for what you are going through. Be kind to yourself. Also sorry for everyone else's losses.

I am shocked that it takes so long to get an ERPC these days.

ilythia · 22/04/2011 19:14

Dee, I am so sorry, have pmed you, x

Original poster
deemented · 22/04/2011 19:30

Manda - Thank you so much for your post. I really am sorry that you've gone through this, and so late on too. It's so bloody unfair, isn't it?

I don't know why i'm being so hard on myself. I think i need to find someone or something to blame. And if there isn't anyone or anything, then i'm in limbo - the not knowing who or why is a killer.

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pixie100 · 24/04/2011 21:53

Hi there.
I'm new to this section of Mumsnet as I had anembryotic pregnancy. I was supposed to be 10 weeks gone. I finally had d&c op on 12april. Op was painless.still bleeding lightly.annoying but not sore. I waited 3 weeks for my body to DO something (bleed)... instead it carried on pretending there was a baby in there.carried on getting fatter whilst I waited &waited for the painful heavy bleeding. It never came. So I opted for d&c... v.stressful time x

DEE - please please don't be angry with yourself x it just happens x I don't know you but I really hope you can take some comfort from someone else trying not to beat herself up about a shitty thing that just happened x

Pixie x