What happens after a miscarriage? Need advice!

[brooke89]

Hi,

Me & my partner had a early scan today at 7 weeks as i have been bleeding since monday morning. the results were that my womb was empty :( my hcg levels havent gone down enough for me to be dismissed so am going back on friday for them to be checked...

But what happens now? This was our first time trying and we dont have any children (yet) How soon can we start trying again? Are there any complications because of the micarriage? What is the success rate after having a miscarriage? Will my periods be back to normal and when will they start again? Is there anything we need to be carefull about?

Sorry for all the questions but theres so many i want to ask at the moment! Any advice would be much appreciated!

Thank you xx

Hi brooke, sorry to hear about your loss.

You're in the right place for advice, there's loads of it here. I had my first miscarriage just over a month ago so I'm learning as I go.

As far as what happens next, it depends on what they find when they check your levels again. When you say your womb was empty, do you mean completely, no trace of pregnancy? Sorry for the insensitive question. :(

You can start trying again as soon as you like. Some doctors advise waiting for your first period but that seems to be purely to make it easier to date any resulting pregnancy. You certainly need to wait until you've stopped bleeding from the mc, that's the most important thing.

A first miscarriage doesn't affect future chances from what I have read. Periods should start between 5 and 7 weeks after the mc but it varies greatly. As for normal, ha! I'm just having my first period after my mc and it's like none I've ever had before, heavier and more painful. I think all bets are off when it comes to post mc periods, you just have to wait and see.

Keep posting here though, for advice or if you just want to talk x

Sorry to hear about your loss..hopefully i will learn lots from this too!

Yes it was just empty...really upsetting cause so many of my friends are pregnant and ive seen lots of there pictures from scans with a little baby lying there and mine was just empty :( no trace at all which is strange because i have been checking the blood and i dont seem to have passed anything, its just been blood! apart from one thing which i could only describe as string? (sorry for the info!)

I just want to start trying again already and be pregnant again!! when will i know to start doing an ovulation test? or is it best to wait for my first period to come naturally and go from there?

I was in a similar situation recently, suffered a miscarriage at 6 weeks mid January. My miscarriage was like a period so once the bleeding stopped we carried on trying and now I'm about 5-6 weeks pregnant (ish, not sure because of dates - last missed period was the miscarriage). Obviously doesn't happen for everyone and I realise I'm really lucky, but keep hoping and try when you're ready.

In the meantime, take care of each other. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you x

Hi Brooke, sorry for your loss.

I've just started trying again, just over 3 weeks since my mc. Basically I waited till I'd had a repeat scan to check my uterus is getting back to normal, I'd had a negative pg test to check my hcg levels were right down and the bleeding had completely stopped. The nurse I saw after the repeat scan said there was no reason not to start as soon as I felt emotionally ready, which I do bcos I want (need) a positive end to this.

Best of luck x

Thats really good news lucamom! I really hope everything goes well for you!

Meliesmummy, thts exactly how i feel now, i just want to get pregnant again already! The only thing im worried about is im having really sharp pains, started last night and there still there this morning? Did anyone else have that? The bleeding has nearly stopped, mostly brown now...

xxx

Hi, im pregnant for the third time this year, the first two were mc. iv been to the doctors but they have just said that they wont investigate until i have a third mc. im so worried that im going to lose this baby aswell! are there any success stories out there that i can cling to for a bit of hope? x

Brooke I had crampy pains in my side and back for about a week, I think it's just everything moving back to where it should be so don't worry x

Btw Brooke and anyone else in this situation, this is a lovely thread for chatting to other people about ttc after a mc, come over and chat whenever you're ready

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1148112-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pack-your-cake-wine-and-tightie-whities-and-join-us-for-more-ranting-weeping-and-most-of-all-laughing-All-welcome-Part-13

Hi girls, do you mind if I join?

Feeling a little lost at the moment. I think I am miscarrying at 5ish weeks. I've had terrible cramps and been bleeding since Sunday although its less than AF (which is usually really heavy). All PG symptoms have gone though so I am pretty sure its a MC. I have a doctors appointment next week to confirm.

I don't know what to do next. I feel like I want to try again and be pregnant again asap but in my head I think I probably should wait for one month's AF to check everything has gone back to normal. That means it might be 6 to 8 weeks before I even ovulate and can try again which seems like an eternity!!

What do you think? Are you waiting at least a month? Xxx

Also meant to say I'm so sorry to Brooke and anyone else who is going/as gone through this.

Am feeling a little self absorbed at the moment so sorry for not saying before.

I used to say I was sorry to hear someone had had a MC in the past but I really don't think you fully appreciate what someone has gone through until it happens to you.

Fingers crossed we all get some BFPs soon and Suze I really hope this is third time lucky for you

Xx

Also meant to say I'm so sorry to Brooke and anyone else who is going/as gone through this.

Am feeling a little self absorbed at the moment so sorry for not saying before.

I used to say I was sorry to hear someone had had a MC in the past but I really don't think you fully appreciate what someone has gone through until it happens to you.

Fingers crossed we all get some BFPs soon and Suze I really hope this is third time lucky for you

Xx

Hi Brooke,
I'm very sorry for your loss, it's awful to lose a pregnancy.

When you go back tomorrow for your second HCG test, the nurse should talk you through everything, so make sure you take these questions to her - and ask your partner to ask them if you find yourself too upset to do it.

If the miscarriage is confirmed, you may continue to bleed for a while and you should use pads, not tampons while you're bleeding, and no sex until all the bleeding and discharge has finished for a while.

You can start to ttc again when you feel ready, you don't need to wait for a period but if you decide not to wait then do at least make sure you do some pregnancy tests before starting again. You need to see a -ve test (sorry, I know you don't WANT to see that) so you can be sure that if you do get pg quickly, then the +ve test is real, not left-over HCG from the previous pg.

There shouldn't be any complications from the miscarriage - things to watch out for are signs of infection (temperature, feeling 'fluey, smelly discharge, discomfort). It can take a while for your period to come back, but if you are worried that it's taking too long (say 8 weeks?) then talk to your GP.

The risk of having a second miscarriage after you've had just one is the same as any other woman who hasn't had one - so basically, you have as much risk or chance of failure or success in your next pregnancy as anyone else. The sad thing about having experienced a miscarriage is that you will probably experience more anxiety in your next pregnancy than other women.

Don't give up, it's a horrible thing that's happened but it's not necessarily a prediction for your future plans for children. However, do take time to acknowledge and grief for what you've lost.

Hello Brooke.

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

I had an early mc in dec 2007. My womb was also empty and my hgc levels soon back to normal.

Due to my age and history of other mc I was advised there was no need to wait to try again (as my hcg levels were normal and I had stopped bleeding) and ds2 was conceived 2 weeks later!

Good luck to you x

Hi Brooke,

So sorry that you're going through this.

I lost our first baby at 5 weeks. I was told that as soon as the bleeding had stopped and we were 'emotionally' ready to try again, we could.

We wasted no time and 6 weeks later I was PG again with our DD who is now 21 months old.

It will happen to you too. Good luck sweetheart. Let yourself heal emotionally.

xxx

Sorry this has happened to you Brooke.

If there is no sign of anything in the womb, and your HcG levels are still high they may be wanting to eliminate the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy.

FWIW my first successful pregnancy (DS1) was conceived straight after my 3rd MC. I am so glad I didn't wait for a period! I think they only want you to do that so they can have something to date a pregnancy from. And in my case, they just had to do it from a scan - not much of an inconvenience.

Hope you're OK.

hi girls, thank you for all your lovely comments :) tbh, im not as upset as i was anymore, i cried all i could before the mc was confirmed. I found it much harder not knowing what was going on!

ladybee- thanks for the advice, i've got a big list of questions wrote down for the midwife tomorrow!

maybetomorrow, baloonslayer and becarooo thats really good that youve all gone on to have sucessful pregnancys afterwards! Fingers crossed that me and my partner are just as successful!!

bumpwanted - i know what you mean, you can only fully appreciate it till youve been through it, i was just so shocked that it was actually happening, the thought of miscarriage hadnt even crossed my mind! but guess it just wasnt meant to be! Im not going to wait for my first period, as soon as ive been back up to the epu and made sure my levels are ok and the bleeding has stopped im gonna get right back on it haha and start trying again. Fingers crossed we have better luck second time round!

Again, thanks ladies for all your support, it really does help speaking to others who have been through the same!

xxx:)xxx

Fingers crossed for you Brooke....I hope things work out as well for you as they did for me x

OK, here is my story and i hope it helps to raise some spirits...

I also have no children (yet) and have had 2 miscarriages, but am now 16weeks preg and everything seems to be going ok.

we began to try a year ago and had our 1st MC at 8weeks at end of July.
we then tried again immediatly, (but TBH had to wait for body to get 'back to normal' and start ovulating again). we got preg again in Oct and MC'd 4 days after finding out so about 4 weeks preg.

i was angry, frustrated (esp as i dh and i had planned it, given up smoking for it and live in a council estate where im surrounded by yound heavily pregnant women smoking and drinking their way through it!

Anyway, by 2nd week of Dec i was preg again and all is well. i couldnt stop looking for reasons, but i think it is just luck! i have been paranoid through this preg, but am relaxing now. #

i assure you everything will work out! if you're anythiong like me, impatience is the main problem!

good luck to you

Thanks Brooke for starting this thread, it has helped me a lot reading it as i am going through the same thing at the moment. I went to the epu on Tuesday and there was a yolk sac and amniotic sac but no heart beat. I was told to come back in a week for rescan but I started bleeding the day after! It is so sad and I hope we all get up the duff again quickly!

Ladybee I started with pads but I couldnt bear the feeling of it as it was a constant reminder that everything was gone so I am using tampsons. Should I go back to towels?? The thought is awful but I will if its the best thing to do.

Hi Brooke sorry for your loss

I miscarried in nov-1st baby- and waited till after first period to start trying again. We're still trying and i really wish i hadn't waited. Keep thinking maybe i'd be pregnant by now if we hadn't-especially after reading about people who got preg straight away. Who knows really.

I think the best thing is to do what feels right for you-everyone's different.

Good luck xxx

brooke89 hi and I am so sorry for your loss! I am going through the same thing as you right now. I have been spotting brown for not quite a week and it has now turned to blood. I had my HcG levels tested last Third and will again on Mon. I am almost 6 weeks and this is my 2nd pg. I have a wonderful little 1 year old ds. :) I agree that the not knowing is the hardest part! And the shock. I had such an easy 1st pg that this was the farthest thing from my mind. Good luck to you on your next pg!!!

Sorry to hear about everyone's losses. I had an early MC 2 Christmases ago, just like a period only a little heavier in my case. They measured my HCG levels before, during and after - and said I should make sure that they got down to as near zero as possible before Christmas (MC started on 19th Dec) to rule out risk of ectopic pg.

I was also warned that it is a good idea to wait 3m after a MC before trying again as there is an apparently higher risk of twins if you get pg again straight away - but I didn't manage it anyway. My DH's cousin had a MC and got pg straight away despite being warned not to - and she didn't have twins, so it's certainly not a given!

Good luck to all of you who are still trying. :)

i didn't wait in between (and i wanted twins!!!).
healthy 18week old fetus here, but only one haha!

So sorry about all your losses but it's good to hear some of you did get pg again straight away.

Gore alert - next paragraph might be TMI

I'm also puzzled about the "pads not tampons" comment - nobody said that to me... what's the problem as long as you change the tampons frequently? If you're passing lots of clots and assorted solid matter then a tampon doesn't really "absorb" them but I kept going to the loo really often and changing my tampons really often too. I hope it didn't do any harm.

Hi Brooke

So sorry to hear that about what you are going through. I have had 4 m/c in all. My first pregnancy resulted in M/c after 12 and half weeks, then I had my eldest son. Then another m/c at 5 weeks. Then another at 9 weeks. Then my second son. Then another m/c at 6 weeks.

Its absolutely awful to have to go through this but the fact that you have conceived once means you are very very likely to conceive again. After each m/c I tried again immediately and apart from after the 1st (I was distraut for over a year) I fell pg straight away each time. Its hard to go through but now I have two fabulous boys - it was worth it to keep going to get what I wanted.

Sending you big vibes of positivity that you get there in the end. Sooner rather than later. xxx