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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Any point continuing after 3?

31 replies

Iggi2011 · 24/01/2011 16:59

Had my first mc a year ago today. Back then, despite the awfulness, we were full of determination and even some hope for the future. I was convinced that a year on, I'd have my baby or at least be pg.
Instead I've fitted in another 2 mc.
So, really posting for a bit of a hope injection, for as of today I have none.

OP posts:
ClaireDeLoon · 24/01/2011 17:07

Hi Iggi

I know how it feels when it all seems hopeless, struggling with that myself today.

Have you talked to your GP about a referral to a recurrent mc clinic for testing? Sometimes they can determine causes of miscarriages and help with that. There is a thread, recurrent buns, with quite a few of us in the same situation. Feel free to join.

jasmine51 · 24/01/2011 17:49

I had 4mc before being tested. Problem found, treated, and now happily cooking a 20 wk bun.
If you want to stop trying then that is entirely your choice but if you are always going to wonder why? or what if? then push for a referral for testing. If you can afford it, you can speed things up by going private.
Good luck x

Original poster
Iggi2011 · 24/01/2011 18:14

Thank you both Smile
I have been referred to mc clinic, fortunately. I know we will try again, I have an obstinate streak! but I really feel it won't work out for me and am scared of going through more mc.
Jasmine that's's a great story,glad it's worked out in the end!
I have a ds so I shouldn't get so down.

OP posts:
hairyfairylights · 24/01/2011 18:43

So so sorry. I have had two mc last year and am now pregnant again. I know how it feels to lose hope and have it raised again. I hope you get some answers. Didn't want to read and run.

sotough · 24/01/2011 19:25

hi iggi can i ask how old you are? did you have any MCs before your son was born? I had a little boy when i was 33; no previous miscarriages. We started trying for a second baby when i had just turned 34, and over a period of two years of hell, i had four miscarriages in a row. we had every test under the sun and never got a clear diagnosis. i was incredibly low after the third miscarriage, and can hardly describe how i felt after the fourth. we carried on though, and i am now proud mum of two - my daughter was born three weeks ago. the bottom line is, if you stop trying, you definitely won't have another child. if you can find the strength to keep going, you have a chance of the dream coming true. Incidentally a girl i met through the recurrent miscarriage clinic had six early miscarriages in a row after her first child. she is now 14 weeks pregnant. it can happen and it does happen.

Original poster
Iggi2011 · 24/01/2011 19:39

Hi Sotough, thanks for that and congratulations! I am 40, so not much time left. Had ds at 36 with no previous mc. I like your sentence about if you stop, you definitely won't have one. Just wish I could know in advance if it will work out or not!

OP posts:
Original poster
Iggi2011 · 24/01/2011 19:39

Hi Sotough, thanks for that and congratulations! I am 40, so not much time left. Had ds at 36 with no previous mc. I like your sentence about if you stop, you definitely won't have one. Just wish I could know in advance if it will work out or not!

OP posts:
Collie2 · 24/01/2011 20:06

Iggi I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through, its sounds utterly exhausting and devastating.

I don?t have any words of advice really, I?ve recently mc but this has been my first, and that?s devastating enough. The thought of going through this again fills me with dread.

I just wanted to say I?m so sorry for your losses and your sadness. I think you?re very brave. xxx

jasmine51 · 24/01/2011 21:09

Iggi I am 43 - dont give up yet! x

hairyfairylights · 24/01/2011 21:26

Ps I will be 43 in
April so feel inspired by jasmine :)

Original poster
Iggi2011 · 24/01/2011 22:05

I'm really glad I posted this today Smile
Have had so much support from this forum, and learned so much about mc along the way (more than I ever bloody wanted to know obviously)
Glad to hear there is hope after 40!
Collie2 your post made me cry (in a nice way). Thank you, and remember it's much more common to only have one!

OP posts:
Threelittleducks · 24/01/2011 22:09

My MIL had her first dd, then 5 years later my dh, then another 2 boys, then a girl, then another boy.

In that 5 years middle point she had 5 miscarriages - 2 long-ish term twins (I think about 14 weeks) and one at 20 weeks.

She did have 6 very healthy and happy kids in the end.

There was of course heartache, but I think she would tell you that there is always hope :)

minmooch · 24/01/2011 22:51

I have had 7 miscarriages - and in amongst them I lost beautiful identical twin girls at 21 weeks. I am 43 and not giving up - currently 7 weeks pg again and with the support of my fantastic consultant I hope to bring this one home.

Original poster
Iggi2011 · 25/01/2011 21:14

Thank you guys. Really glad to see it CAN work out. Got a letter today with an appointment for tests - fingers crossed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iggi2011 · 25/01/2011 21:14

Thank you guys. Really glad to see it CAN work out. Got a letter today with an appointment for tests - fingers crossed.

OP posts:
Collie2 · 25/01/2011 21:55

Glad you feel a little more optimistic Iggy! Good luck with the tests... Here's to 2011! X

confu3ed · 26/01/2011 08:48

Hi ladies. Found out yesterday that I have miscarried again second recurrent and three in total. I too am wondering if I will ever carry to term. Good to hear positive stories though, makes me think that maybe there is hope somewhere.

boohoohoo · 26/01/2011 09:25

Hi confu3ed, so sorry to hear of your m/c yesterday, hope your ok. I had two m/c last year, and am trying again now although if I find out that I'm pregnant again now not sure how I'll feel because I suppose i just think I'll m/c within a few weeks. However this thread has given me some hope and I guess it's true if we don't keep trying then it definitely wont happen. Take care of yourself over the next few weeks, don't blame yourself. Hopefully we'll hear off you soon with some more positive news xx

Imnotaslimjim · 26/01/2011 09:34

I had 7 MC in total, 5 with DH. After no 4 we were investigated and no known cause was found. A couple of months later I caught again and carried to 10 weeks. We gave up, on the advice of the drs. DH bought me a dog for Christmas to have something to love. The following July and fell again with TTC. MY DS is now about to turn 5, and DD was born 2 years later

So yes there is hope. I'm sorry you've been through this, there is nothing to describe the pain, but please don't give up just yet

upturnj · 26/01/2011 10:36

Hi ladies, this time last year I discovered Mumsnet looking for support after my third missed miscarriage. I only found out my babies had died at the dating scans. I was in a very dark place this time last year but then found the recurrent buns thread that ClairedeLoon has mentioned and signing in each day and reading others stories and their knowledge and experience of testing became a lifeline of hope to me. I sought strength to see my doctor and get referred to our local EPU and had fortnightly scans from 6wks. I fell pregnant again in March and 6 weeks ago gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy. I am living proof that it can happen. I would recommend anyone to read this and seek support from other ladies in similar situations.
Good luck to everyone x

Decaff · 26/01/2011 12:34

upturnj that's so lovely to hear.

I have had 2 MC and am having some basic tests done - clotting, chromosomal etc. Did you end up doing anything differently this time? I just think so much of this is just chance that I am beginning to wonder if it's even worth my DH and I going through testing that could potentially throw up issues, or not, that not much could be done about and that may actually make TTC even more stressful.

Does that even make sense?!

shangrila · 26/01/2011 14:58

If you can bear to, keep on keeping on.

I had DD, then 7 episodes of pregnancy loss. Gave birth to DS last year at the grand old age of 45.

I never thought it would be possible and had some bleak old times. So glad I stuck at it. Good luck to all of you.

confu3ed · 26/01/2011 15:30

Thanks Boohoo, talking on here helps so much and does give me hope.

I am going to try to push for tests, but have been advised that the hospital will not test until you have had 3 recurrent miscarriages, which seems insane, do i really have to go through this again before they will do some tests. Especially as it has taken over a year and 6 months of clomid to get here. I would like some answers but not sure that there are any.

Shangrila did you have any investigations? Thanks for giving me hope!

Helibelly · 26/01/2011 16:00

Hi Iggi,
Sorry for your loss, let yourself recover but do keep going i had 4 mc and then was referred to St Marys recurrent mc unit, they are amazing and after finding I needed to take aspirin in pregnancy I had my little girl on my 5th pregnancy. Try and get referred. Sending you much love. xx

Helibelly · 26/01/2011 16:02

Wishing you a safe and happy pregnancy this time.x