Induced at 15 weeks what to expect

[luckyfor2]

Hello, I am knew to this. I have been on before to read things when I've been looking for answers and have found it very helpful. This is my story. I would love to know if anyone has been through something similar and come out of the other end.

This is my third miscarriage in 9 months, my first mc was in May last year and I found out at my 12 week scan that the baby had died at 9 weeks, I had a D&C which was exhausting and it took me a long time to get right, emotionally I'm still not right but I don't think I ever will be. My second miscarriage was in September just before this pregnancy at 7 weeks where I bled at home and was more like a heavy period.

This time we really thought we were okay, I saw the consultant at my 12 week scan and everything looked healthy and well, he said it looked good and we had no reason to worry, I still did obviously and I always thought and expected the worse. I then had a scan at 13 weeks where I was screened for downs, we got the best results from the screening test and we then decided although I was still scared to tell our two daughters (3 and 5) and close family. Then on Friday at 15+5 weeks I went to see the midwife and there was no heartbeat. I cannot believe this is happening again, I feel like it took so long to get this far and we're right back where we were a year ago. I am very lucky to have my girls and they are perfect and happy but feel so sad for the babies I have lost.

I was given a tablet at the hospital on Friday and I need to go back in on Monday to be induced. Has anyone gone through this at this stage and what should I expect, will the baby be formed and will I be able to see it. I'm desperate to know the sex because in my mind I'm convinced I can't have boys (just something to justify it to myself). The consultant said he would do an autopsy and testing as we have now had three mc. One of the hardest things is not knowing why, its unbelieveably hard and I'm not looking forward to the journey over the next few months.

Thank you to anyone who can help.

I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. To lose 3 babies in a row must be soul destroying, I think you have been so brave to keep going.

My first baby died in October. We found out at the 20 week scan that she had died. Size wise she was only about 14-15 weeks, but we'd heard a heartbeat at 17 weeks so she had lived a lot longer than her size indicated.

I also had an induced labour to deliver her. We were given a private room on the delivery suite and DH was able to stay with me the whole time. Definitely ask for this, it is not fair for you to go through this on a ward.
Yes we saw and held our baby and are so glad we did. If you want to see yours then tell your MW/nurse. They should ask you anyway but some people on here have reported quite bad care where they didn't get the chance (or a second offer) to see their baby.

With a baby of this age it's quite likely that you won't be able to tell the gender by looking. They should be able to find out for you as part of the autopsy, but this is not guaranteed we were told. Occasionally the skin sample won't grow in a culture so they can't get any chromosone information.

Your baby will be formed, just very small and with a disproportionately large head and shorter legs. The skin colour will be quite dark a sort of purpley/red. The little hands and feet are completely gorgeous. The hospital should do hand and footprints for you, but do ask if you would like these. The face is the least developed part, but it's all there, the features are all just quite small and still developing (tiny nose, ears, see through eye lids).

I would recommend taking a camera so you can take lots photos of your baby, and of you and your DH with your baby. We also took some of us smiling with her which felt a bit counterintuitive at the time, but I'm so glad we did as these are very precious to me.

You can have as much pain relief as you want/need, and stronger drugs than in a normal labour if you want to be quite out of it. I chose not to have gas and air as I didn't want to start getting giggly, so I went straight to a morphine injection.

I was warned by some MNers that with labour at this early stage of pregnancy sometimes the placenta won't come out. I didn't have this problem, but I was glad to be aware of it. Some people described having to push quite hard to get it out, and others went to theatre for an EPRC (D&C).

Wishing you lots of love and strength to get through this. It is terribly sad, but also so special to get to hold your little baby.

If you have more questions please feel free to post them (or PM me) as there are sadly a lot of us who can probably answer xx

To spilttheteaagain

Thank you for your message and advice its such a horrible thing to go through but you make it sound beautiful. I would love to hold my baby but I don't know whether it will be big enough. I saw my baby at 13 weeks but when they did the scan on Friday it measured 12. I think it stopped breathing around 14 weeks. I would have been 16 weeks tomorrow.

I was told that they would not be able to see the sex and if they test the baby they often come back as female as the details come from the mother but it would be comforting to know either way.

The consultant told us that we would have a private room and my husband can stay with me. Its so scary and heartbreaking. Maybe this time we'll get some answers.

All the best to you and your future pregnancies x

Hi
I just wanted to say I'm sp sorry you're having to go through this and after losing two babies already. I just want to second what spilt said really.

And just do what feels right for you at the time. We lost our baby at 20 weeks in October, it all happened very quickly (from finding out there was no hearbeat to giving birth took 6 hours) and we decided not to see or hold our little one. I do regret this now but know it was how I felt at the time.

I really hope it goes as well as can be expected for you tomorrow, I will be thinking of you x

Thank you to you both. I will come back on when I'm sorted out and let you know how it went. Thank you for all your help and support.

I'll be thinking of you today. I hope you are treated with lots of kindness and that everything is as straightforward and uncomplicated as possible. Lots of hugs xx

I have no advice, as my miscarriages were before the end of the first trimester, but I wanted to offer my sympathies. Such a horrible thing to happen.

Take care of yourself.

Thinking of you too xxx

lucky this may be too soon for you, but we have a thread running with a small group of us who have recently lost babies in the 2nd tri or later, for support and reassurance that we are not cracking up. If you'd like to chat or have someone listen please come and talk to us here

Much love x

I lost my first baby at 20 weeks at the beginning of November so know what you'll be going through today and my thoughts are with you. So sorry to read about all that has happened to you. I hope today has gone as smoothly as possible. I'm on the thread that Spilt mentions above so may see you there at some stage. Look after yourself.

Hope you and your dh are ok lucky. I am so very sorry to hear your sad news. I lost a baby after our 20 week scan showed no heartbeat . I really feel your pain and understand how hard this is.

Poems have helped me, I read them and have a good sob, I find it helps having a good cry.

They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason,
Will change the way I feel,
For no-one knows the heartache,
That lies behind our smiles,
No-one knows how many times,
We have broken down and cried,
We want to tell you something,
So there won't be any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of,
But so hard to be without.

Thinking of you x

luckyfor2 just wanted to say I am so sorry.

I am sitting here on the 1st anniversary of delivering my little boy at 17wks gestation. Spilt did a great job of setting out the experience which was very similar for me. My labour was 15hours, but I had a lot of pain relief and was asleep for quite a lot of it. I had no idea how I would possibly get through it but I did, physically it was no where near as bad as I thought, the midwifes and staff were brilliant and I was so well looked after. Emotionally it was heart breaking but again, easier in many ways than I expected. In the couple of days leading up to it I literaly thought I would be in pieces and wouldn't be able to do it but I was very calm and controlled the whole time. In some ways keeping calm and doing a 'good job' of delivering him was the only thing I felt I could really do for him.

I would recommend seeing and holding the baby if you can. We did and I am so pleased we did.

Take all the time you need to recover. I had 2 weeks off work and the docs were happy to sign me off for more. The pain does get easier.

Thinking of you. xxx

I lost my baby at 15 weeks and 2 days last November. I went into spontaneous labour and my baby was born after a couple of hours, still in it's gestational sac so I never actually got to see it - I just couldn't even ask as the time although now, a year later, I wished I had.

It's a truly heartbreaking thing to have to go through. I don't visit the mc boards very often but I'm touched by people who lose babies further on.

I have a beautiful baby girl now who is 11 weeks old, conceived a couple of months after my mc. It gets much easier with time although I still think of the baby every single day.

Thinking of you x

I lost my baby at 14 weeks due to irregular acrania & had to be induced-last may. I got a private room they inserted tablets into the vagina and then oral tablets every few hours after from 8.30am. Then at about9 pm I started to really cramp I had diarrhoea also I was given parcetmol and blood pressure& temp was taken on an hourly basis. Food was also given throughout the day. At 11pm pain was strong so they gaveme a pethadineinjection this made me sleep DH stayed with me. I slept til 2am woke with urge to pee/ pain/poo I came over all dizzy and felt like everything was leaving me! I knew then labour had started midwives& husband came in assisted me to bed and gave me gas and air! I pushed for 45mins baby passed. No bigger than a small size 2/3 shoebox tiny! Then afterbirth wouldn't come away so they put some fluid up to keep me contracting until 7.30am I was exhausted then had to go to theatre to get it removed.
You

Are truly exhausted beyond belief. Came back to my room and slept . The baby was left for me in a White box. My Dh opened it and everything was visible in formation eyes nose feet hands ribcage etc but it's little skin is not like ours just yet I wasn't prepared for that. It was still to early to determine sex so we called it Angel. I still have it's ashes in my room which for many is freaky but I'm not ready to part with them just yet. It gives me great comfort knowing it's here for now. But the months ahead and the labour and meeting your little one is heartbreaking but I wouldn't have had it any other way! I am sorry if this is too gory but I'm a young girl (30) first pregnancy and wish someone had the experience to share prior to mine. Good luck and do what you feel is right when you have the baby sometimes they can bee too fragile to hold at this stage! My deepest sympathies are with you both. Xx

Hi
Well its two weeks since I came out of hospital and I'm still feeling desperately sad and wish everything could be different.

The labour was quick and the hospital, midwives, doctors etc. were very good. I was in a seperate room at the end of the delivery suite and I didn't hear or see any babies which was good. Once they gave me the tablets the baby came out in about 15 minutes. He/she was perfect I'm so glad I met the baby its sweet little arms were crossed over its chest and it looked like it was sleeping, as though it somehow knew that it was going to happen. It was such a sad day but I'm so glad I got the chance to meet him/her. The placenta took some getting out and I lost alot of blood which is why I had to stay in overnight.

They took tests from me and my DH but these can take anywhere up to 12 weeks though my DH and GP are trying to get results back sooner. They're also going to do tests on the baby but again up to 12 weeks. Why does everything take so long its unbearable.

My children have been at my Mums for a week and my eldest has been missing school which I feel very guilty about, everyone just wants me to get on with it and get back to normal but I feel like I've got nowhere else to go after three over a year and all I can feel is that its not going to happen. What are you supposed to do. I just wish someone had some answers.

Thank you everyone who has been so lovely on here and I'm sorry for this desperately sad post but I just don't know what to do and although I know its very soon I wish I could get pregnant again quickly, somehow I think I could cope somehow. God what a mess.

Littlewish
your poem is beautiful and makes me cry every time I read it.

Spilttheteaagain
Thank you for telling me about the 2nd trimester thread you might see me on there soon.

Everyone
I'm so sorry to everyone who has had a loss and thank you for your posts. Heres wishing for some good news in the future.

hi lucky i just want to say how sorry i am to read your story and my heart goes out to you. what you've been through is just awful. thank goodness for your two children - they must be a huge comfort. just to let you know you will always find someone on here to talk to and who understands at least to some extent how you are feeling. i know what you mean about people seeming to expect you to get on with things and 'move on' etc - but that is totally unrealistic at this stage. however, you will feel better in time. i'm surprised that it will take 12 weeks for the tests. are you in London?

Hi sotough thank you for your post my children are beautiful and are a comfort but I struggled to cope with family life after the birth so thay stayed with Grandparents for a couple of week. I just didn't think it was fair for my children to have to see me destroyed yet again as they have over the last year, I just wish this journey could be over so we could all move on.

I live in Yorkshire and my GP and DH are trying to get the tests speeded up, they said it could take up to 12 weeks but not always that long, I think the tests on the baby take a long time as they have to grow the tissue or something (not sure) but every day seems like its too long. I think after a year of waiting you just get sick of waiting and time going by.

Sorry, I do seem to ramble on these days.