Getting through the due date

[Pinkchampagne]

I had a MMC just before Easter, which was discovered at my 12 week scan (baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks) & I have found it really tough to get over.

In just over a months time I will be facing the dreaded due date, which also happens to be my DP's 40th birthday of all days.
How do I get through it? I am worried I will spoil his birthday being miserable.

It is so terribly hard, especially when you see the babies that have been born around your own due date. my husband and I named our baby and planted a plant to remember her- I felt the baby was a girl. I don't think any woman ever forgets -just time makes it less intense.

I've got two to get through next year - January would have been the first one, and April the second... Christmas is going to be particularly excruciating since my sister in law, the apple of the eye and epitome of perfection for oh's family, is pregnant and will be due very close to my second due date - and is the sort of person who will be massively obnoxiously pregnant as well.

I'm planning on avoiding all family gatherings (sod the season - I've got nowt to celebrate) and then hibernating through the due dates. Thankfully my work is such that I CAN take a day off as and when needed - and I think I'm going to need to - especially since I work with children which is a constant reminder of what I've lost.

We live in a rented house at the moment - but when we move in the next month or so I'm going to look for some things to put in the garden - something that flowers in January, and something that will come into it's own in April - if my children can't be "born", at least some reminder of them will appear I guess or something. I'm also making what would have been the nursery into the most hideously child inappropriate room known to man - probably in some stupidly naive attempt to invoke sod's law that I'll then have a pregnancy to full-term once it's all been turned into some adult boudoir with hazardous stuff on low shelves... I was always good at silly acts of pointless rebellion at school - now I'm going to rebel against my fate :D

As for keeping it secret/outing yourself. I refuse to hide away with some dirty little secret like society still seems to expect miscarriages to be treated - I'm very open about it, I HAD kids - they just didn't make it to walk on this world - I'm not going to deny their existence to save the feelings of the rest of the world.

Hi pinkchampagne

I've also had to get through two due dates this year, one in January and one in May, and would you believe the one in January also fell on my DH's birthday, while the second fell on my niece's birthday.

I actually went to work on both days, and on both occasions DH and I went out for a lovely meal in the evening, just the two of us. Obviously there were a few tears, but it was lovely just to spend the evening together.

I also found the anticipation of the dates were not half as bad as they days themselves, if that makes sense.

As an aside, we lost our second baby last Bonfire Night so am building myself up for next month. This time I have decided to take the day off, but intend to do something nice like go for a lovely long lunch (after visiting the cemetery where our baby is buried) rather than stay at home and brood.

I hope both you and DH manage to get through it okay x