Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

If you are a child who comes from a home where there is swearing and violence, it will be deeply traumatic to experience this at school as well.

Trauma all day, every day, with no respite. Just waiting for the next violent outburst, trying to be invisible and hoping an adult will protect you.

Hopefully you're not called Sophie or Emma and the teacher uses you as a buffer between the violent kid and the rest of the class.

It is easy to say this when you aren’t in the situation. When faced with such a situation, many parents wouldn’t/don’t because they know it means a) there is even less incentive for the LA to place DC in an appropriate placement or provide AP, b) it is easier for professionals to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet, c) if they EHE, they relieve the LA of their duty to provide education (and if the child has an EHCP, the provision within it), and d) they are more likely to reach carer parent which can have devastating results - parents need to be able to sleep, eat, complete paperwork, attend meetings, etc. which many can’t if their DC are not in school or having education otherwise than in school made for them.

Schools are doing the best they can within the resources they have.

all children have a right to an education and this is how it’s currently done.

it won’t change unless people are willing to pay an awful lot more tax - and they are not

Such an easy thing to say.

That's why many parents who can chose private. There is no disruption in private school because the kid gets kicked out Send or not.

I am also moving my child to private because they think regular classroom evacuations due to two violent boys are totally normal. This is an outstanding state school and there is no contact whatsoever from the school on this point - they don't see any need to inform the parents that this is happening.

This was unimaginable when I was at school in the 90s.

I do think that this is a huge issue. My son is in a small primary and has to deal with 2 children who are regularly so violent that he (and the 20 others) miss hours of class.
Children have been hit, kicked and pushed over. Had chairs thrown at them and one went to hospital having been poked in the eye with a pencil.
I don’t blame these children but how is this situation helping anyone?
Im now dealing with a child who hates school. Who is having therapy because they are themselves are suffering with anxiety exacerbated by the chaos at school.
My child is regularly sat with children with behavioural issues because he is a ‘calming influence’ - great, what about him? He had even been asked to befriend one. Bloody well no! He is unkind, unpredictable and my child does not like him! He is scared of him.
I have told the teacher that this absolutely will not go on. It is not any child’s job to
moderate the behaviour of another.
Luckily we can move to private. But for the good of the state system we need a better way.

@Frazzledmomma123 is your school single form or multiple forms? If the former i’d be keeping a very close eye with a view to a move if things don’t look like they’re improving. If it’s a multi form year, there will be the chance to mix things up a bit or more chance of some additional space or resource away from the classroom itself. With a single form, you’re basically stuck.

I have seen this manifest in different ways. In my youngest’s year evacuations were needed in reception. The child involved was clearly in a school that couldn’t meet his needs and a special school place was found pretty swiftly. The teachers managed it well and my child wasn’t ever that bothered or worried. In that class it was onto really one child with very significant needs that affected the others and pretty temporary.

In my other child’s year, there were 6/7 boys with adhd and/or autism who were on the edge of mainstream v special school. We didn’t have evacuations in the same way but It took years to get some ECHP funding and it clearly wasn’t enough. There was just too much need to manage in one classroom without it being total carnage and a the whole thing was a really sad indictment of the lack of funding for SEN. It really negatively impacted on all of the children in that class. The system failed each and every one of them.

It depends whether this is being done out of an abundance of caution ("just in case, in the very unlikely event...."), to minimise distress to all involved, or because there's a real risk of a child being hurt.

If there is a genuine risk of harm then the school would be negligent to hope that they can manage this safely through an evacuation procedure.

Without everyone coming at me with the “you don’t understand SEND, tell me you’ve never had to deal with a SEND child” etc can someone please explain why so many of these kids are unable to regulate themselves and are violent? I don’t think we had this when I was at school, were those kids somewhere else?

In the current financial climate, this is simply not true.

I can’t believe how many people seem to think it’s ok to have to evacuate a classroom on a regular basis because of a violent child. Other children should not be put at risk, that child should be removed from the school and alternative education put in place for them. It’s not ok for one child to disrupt others education and make them feel (and be!) unsafe.

Clearly you know very little of send kids and how bad they have it at school . If you think send kids are easy to control by punishment then you are deluded
I think It’s a wise idea .

Yes they where hidden away . There where also much less neurodivergency

While this sort of thing may be increasing nationally there are many, many classes where it's not happening. I'd be moving my child to one of them - and I say that as a mum of one with ASD so I certainly 'understand SEN'.

This might be the best a school can do under current conditions, but that's only because getting proper provision for the kids that need it is next to impossible.

Children shouldn't have to learn to cope with this, it's ridiculous.

In my ( primary and infant) school we have pupils who suffer from violent disregulation.
These classrooms have a TA who is responsible for physically removing the child if necessary.

I understand that secondary is a whole different kettle of fish, but I struggle to understand a situation where a whole group of infants are evacuated for one child.

Yep. My son is about two years behind his development and is suspected autistic. I am concerned about how he will cope when he starts school but I am looking forward to the break. Also what if parents of SEN children want to work?

Yep, the school I’m removing my child from is also “outstanding”.

What would you have them do instead?

Have you seen the average 11 year old??

Yes there were special school but they have slowly been closed down so that now there are not enough places. The most recent gov directive is that come next year, all but the most severe send will have to stay in mainstream and schools will have to cope. I will be leaving g education next year.

How would you suggest removing a violent child without putting yourself in danger? All children have the right to an education so expelling is rare. Where are all these alternative education options they should be sent to?

35 years in teaching.
Of course I have.
Hundreds of them.

The OP is referring to infants.

We had a violent year 1 that would throw things around the classroom. The class would be moved to another space. We don’t use the term infants in England but year 1 is age 5/6.