Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

But normalising this situation and not punishing it will lead to more adults expecting allowances for completely unacceptable behaviour and threat of harm to everyone around them. And as you point out they don’t have a right to a job so more people marginalised on the edge of society without work and unable to integrate with society

Yes, you’re right. Maybe the legal right to an education needs to be reconsidered. Allowing children to remain in classes where their ‘meltdowns’ are unpredictable, violent and frequent is doing god knows what damage to the other 29.

Then blame the assessor/medical professional thats stated the child can be in a mainstream school.

But actually even in a SEN school, the same rules/codewords will apply, however tables/chairs are usually bolted down.

I have to say I do find the parents strange in this situation as there is no way I would be sending my child to school if they were regularly dysregulated to the extent of disturbing the learning of others, being violent and destroying the classroom, assaulting others. They’d be kept at home if needs be. It’s deeply unfair on everyone.

Are any of the children actually getting an education given the level of interruption and chaos?

Keep in mind that legal rights to an education protects all of our children to have a legal right to an education. You just wouldn't be taking that right away from SEND children who can't cope with mainstream, you'd be taking that right away from all children.

We don't need to take educational rights away from our children, we need more specialist provisions and we need LA's to stop forcing SEND children into mainstream when it is obvious they won't be able to cope.

They will likely be fighting the LA for specialist provision. If you remove your child from the school then the LA are going to be even less likely to agree that they need specialist provision.

It is all backwards and isn't the fault of SEND parents who are desperate for their child to have a suitable setting.

I have to admit, I was similarly unimpressed the first time that one of my DC mentioned the class had been evacuated, because someone was throwing pencils. However, after asking a few questions, and having it explained to me (by an 8yo, no less), I can see now that it does make perfect sense as a way to deal with this situation.

Yes - in an ideal world, there would be better SEN provision. But if there are only a few occasions a year where difficult situations like this arise, then maybe mainstream is the best place for the SEN pupil, with only minor disruption to everyone else.

If it was happening every week, then that is a different story, and I would hope that the school were trying to find a solution, as it is clearly not working for anyone involved.

I’m very particularly not aiming my point at SEND children, @Kirbert2 .As has been seen on this thread there are plenty of SEND children whose mainstream education is being massively disrupted by others.

But we’re all too scared to say that poor parenting and lack of boundaries or consequences in schools often leads to appalling behaviour.

There is no homogeneous 'SEND kids' group. Could be any manner of things:

• could be a child with 'just' behavioural issues (extremely unlikely in my professional experience),
• could be a child with severe emotional issues because they have just been removed from their parents and are acting in a traumatised way,
• could be a child with severe learning disabilities who really doesn't understand consequences and is stuck in mainstream because there are no special school places,
• could be a child on a 5 year ADHD assessment waitlist who does understand consequences but has a really hard time managing dangerous impulsive behaviour and is unmedicated because they haven't had the assessment.

Point is, you have not idea and it's not as simple as they should just be punished or sent elsewhere. Surely you can understand if there was a simple fix the school would have thought of it by now. I don't always sympathise with schools but mainstreams really are dealing with so much, their hands are often very tied.

The point that children having a legal right to an education should be reconsidered?

There should be a recognition that the right to an education isn’t appropriate in the circumstances described here. How much ‘education’ is that child receiving and what, realistically will be achieved after all this accommodation? It’s containment not education.

I don't blame the parents. It could be the only respite they get.

Under the current system, sadly, disruptive behaviour has become normalised. Please explain how punishing SEND children and their parents would improve the situation. What sort of punishment do you have in mind? Fines? Flogging of the errant parent and child on the village green? Suspension from school? Doubtless the poor behaviour of many children can be attributed to inadequate parenting but parents of SEND children who have posted on this thread are not responsible for the behaviour that is the result of a diagnosed condition. It is precisely so that adults are able to earn their own living that as children they are given an education. You approach of segregating SEN children would reduce integration.

I’m worried about my kids, things that I would have thought completely unacceptable, they are taught are just expected. When one was assaulted by another pupil they were taken into the heads office and told they should have noticed the child was “triggered” and just sat still until and just give them what they wanted. This type of thinking worries me about when they are older and maybe get approached by men. Also one was touched inappropriately by a SEND child and the school acted like it was nothing. My little girl (6) was scared to go to school when before they’d loved it. It feels like highlighting anything SEND makes you a monster and your always told you can’t ever understand or have a valid opinion.

Thank you for your insightful post Octavia. I worked in education and early years for over 2 decades and was a SENTA for the last 5 years.

No.

Moreover how much does one child's right to an education trump another child's right to an education. One child or two in a class might significantly disrupt many other children's education, consistently over time (as well as the teaches job) - is their right to an education more important than the others? Where does it end?

so sad to read hopefully the child gets a placement more suitable to their needs soon, must be so exhausting / emotional for the child and their family. Also upsetting for the teaching staff that they have to have this plan. The children all sound like they are being educated around the situation.

Education as it is understood at the moment absolutely, yes.

It’s all moot anyway, there’s a retention and sickness crisis in teaching right now. Supply costs a fortune but I’m turning down jobs regularly. I do wonder if we’re just going to run out of teachers at some point.

As a teacher (now retired) I completely understand that. At least I could go home at the end of the day.

I've only read a few responses, but that email needed to be a quarter of its length. And that'd still be generous. That headteacher needs lessons in writing concisely.

The longer the letter you send to parents, the more they stress about the content. The more you explain, the more they find to argue with.

Obviously YOU know SEND in schools, in fact school full stop, are currently massively underfunded.

Schools are on their knees and trying their best but their hands are tied.

They don't have enough staff. They don't have enough resources. They don't have the right to remove children with behavioural issues removed from a school without going through the lengthy steps currently required.

At least this school is doing something in terms of having kids prepped to make a move as safely as possible should an issue arrive.

As an ex teacher who taught in a deprived area of a major city, believe me I know how bad behaviour can be.