Starting a thread on Perimenopause- join me 🙃

[rainydaysamonday24]

Hi!
starting a thread on Perimenopause in the aim to share stories, tips, experiences and symptoms.

Me: 47 yrs, periods still v regular - 24/25 day cycles. Feel like my peri symptoms began a year ago however. Have had night feelings of heat, rather than sweating as such! Aches and pains, lower back was bad last year.
With periods still regular I’m wondering if HRT is too soon.
i also don’t want to start HRT - rather to keep going with diet and exercise. Have taken up swimming and that has improved joints and general fitness.
However! Feel like I need to get a blood test to see where I stand!

So new to all this…need help!

Please share your stories….

Hello all,

I just stumbled across this thread when I was looking for information about peri-menopause as I'm wondering whether it's creeping up on me....

I'm 42 so I'm not sure if I'm too young?

Over the last 6-8 months I've starting having the following symptoms which over the last 2 months in particular have become much more prominent:

Really aching muscles/joints
2-3 wake-ups at nights (I've never had sleep problems before)
Periods arriving earlier or later than usual (I have previously been like clockwork)
Having days where I feel exhausted for absolutely no reason
Increased anxiety for no reason
Headaches, generally feeling run down
Pretty much no interest in sex.
Any sex I do have is uncomfortable/painful
Brain fog
Hair thinning
Some dizzy momentary episodes
Periods of feeling low and really tearful
Inability to stay focused on tasks

I don't know......I just don't feel like myself.

I've got a GP appointment in two weeks to discuss it with them but I'm interested to hear the thoughts of others.

Sounds pretty text book to me and the same age as I was when I started getting those symptoms.

I didn’t approach GP until I was 45 though and really struggling with emotional regulation (mild depression, crying at the drop of a hat, blind rage over the smallest things). In hindsight, I should have tried to get it sorted sooner.

Does anyone else on this thread have young kids and work full time (or nearly full time)? I feel like life has become a slog to survive each day. Beginning to worry this is just what life is going to be like… forever. 😞

Had an extremely frustrating conversation with partner last night, had been on verge of tears on the way home, just so exhausted and stressed. Told him I was feeling despondent about Christmas because I was so utterly desperate for a break in order to rest and recuperate but I know it wouldn’t really be a break because we had a 4 year old we’d be in charge of full time. I said if someone offered to lock me in a padded cell for a week I’d think that sounded quite nice thank you. And all he heard was that I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas as a family and took offence. This is despite me having talked a lot about how I’m struggling with exhaustion and feeling really broken. He is a lovely lovely man but he really struggles with emotional support. He’s a doer not a compassionate talker of feelings and that can be tough sometimes.

So glad this thread is helping. Welcome to the room all those who have just joined (room has air conditioning if you’re wondering 😆)

I have been finding that one thing has helped me - making sure I go for a long week or run twice a week . Have found it empowering. It is true what they say - exercise and a good diet but the power walking/ jogging like someone who needs a wee…total game changer!

here’s to us!!

I have had similar conversations with DH in the past. I think sometimes they find it hard not to take it personally when we’re unhappy.

Big hugs 🌸

Hope the air con is on full volume. 🤣

Totally agree about exercise. Sometimes hard to get started, but always worth it.

Running definitely helps me too - mine was stopped by illness in October/ November and the difference mentally was very obvious. Gradually getting back into it now.

I had my work Christmas lunch yesterday and the air conditioning was definitely not on - I had to keep popping out for some fresh air (and quiet - found the noise level of loads of people talking really hard). I was unashamedly the first to leave and was home early evening with my pyjamas on. Still feel quite rough today with the added treat of a bit of random bleeding (not actual period because of pill/ all the hormones, but complete with the aching back etc).

Commenting to follow. I don’t really know what to add other than I’m 34 and not had a period in 4 months and I’m definitely not pregnant.

I've struggled to get through to DH quite a bit over the last few years when it comes to pregnancy, postpartum, dealing with the mental load of working while looking after small kids etc. I love him, but he's just not switched on to my experience unless I scare the pants off him by having a full scale breakdown in front of him 🙄 Then he takes notice! I think they just stuff their heads in the sand most of the time because they don't want to face reality! Sending hugs to you all. Being a woman is so much fun!! 🥴

Also, still no period. Over a week late now. Sigh.

Yeap, I relate with all of this. Mu husband isn't great with emotional support At All, thank god for my female friends of a similar age - otherwise I'd lose the plot entirely. I'm not looking forward to Christmas all that much to be honest - our kids are still young enough to believe so that helps to keep some magic but man am I fed up day-to-day. I am also missing a period for 6 weeks so expect a constant January and February one to make up for it 😫

Hi all back again

so this week has been a really mixed bag of inner rage that I’m trying to keep inner,feeling really deflated and flat generally and so so bloody tired all the time it’s driving me nuts.

I don’t have time to be tired.

run a business and work in it full time have adult dc that are about to move house with a toddler so any day off is spent helping them and a tween having lifts to clubs etc everywhere,a husband that’s been feeling shite all week and now y so it’s been a hard one for me.

normally by now I’ve got 90% of Xmas sorted and have multiple lists etc and yet I’ve probably done 40% I’ve made no lists and I just can’t be assed. I’m really trying but I’m just not feeling it.

im behind with business admin aswell and have hideous roots but don’t know when the hell il sort them out.

guess im just really overwhelmed and normally im on it and multitasking but i definitely feel v different this year so far.

I need to sort out my diet and get my walking pad out but life is just so manic im making no time to look after myself.

sorry to be moaning.

my period was really painful this week aswell and the hot flushes at night have been horrendous.

I want to try and combat some of the symptoms myself naturally and with supplements before hrt if I can but I really need to get a grip of that.

hope everyone’s had a better week than me

Im feeling really down about the impact it’s having on my sex life.

Me and DH attempted to have sex a few days ago but it was just so painful (even with lubrication) that I had to make him stop. Again. It’s been months since we’ve been able to have sex.

I know he’s frustrated, and so am I. But I just don’t think he understands how or why it’s so painful.

Even now I still feel really sore even when I wipe myself after having a wee.

He thinks the menopause is just a case of periods stopping. I wish I could get him to understand that it’s so much more than that ☹️

Does anyone have any good articles or websites they could recommend that might help open my husbands eyes as to how crap it is and what physical impact it actually has on us ☹️

'Even now I still feel really sore even when I wipe myself after having a wee.'

I hear you about the sore vulva and the frustrating sex life, I really do. I started vaginal oestrogen this week and the soreness has already gone. Hoping to cut down on weeing too

Re making husband understand, I think Davina's Channel 4 docs are very informative and easy to watch. I'm hoping to get my DP to watch one of these days. He's lovely and v kind but like yours, doesn't really get what's going on and how massively it impacts your whole life

I think there's a bit of confusion re the terms of the different stages so
Perimenopause is when hormones start dropping (average age for progesterone to start dropping is 35). Progesterone steadily decreases in peri but oestrogen becomes v erratic and can be high, low or normal (premenopausal levels) from one month to the next. This stage can go on for ten+ years, it's v different for individual woman.
Menopause is the 24 hours after you have gone 12 months without a period (or 24 months if you are under 50)
Post menopause is the stage after that 24 hours and you are post menopausal forever, your hormones, and their benefits are never coming back
You mentioned a blood test a couple of times, there's no blood test medically required or needed in a normal perimenopause, it can be used as part of diagnosis of premature ovarian insufficiency or to check for absorption issues of HRT

Oh, I didn't use HRT in peri, started it approx 6 years into post menopause

@MILLYmo0sethanks that is helpful however numerous posters saying they started hrt during perimenopause. Also I don’t think I’ve been in peri since 35 or thereabouts. I’m 47, had my DS at 40.
now having some effects - but in general have energy …just wondering if it’s possible to not have any hrt at all?

Im fifty two and really want to come off the mini pill. i think the progesterone is fucking with my digestive system. i started taking it in late twenty twenty one and IBS worsened in summer twenty twenty two. Partner is sixty nine on full diabetes meds and doesnt ejaculate at all. Ive been reading about how the pill can affect the gut and its funny how things got worse just months after i started it.

Yes lots of women start HRT in peri menopause as their symptoms are so difficult to manage, or they want to get ahead of protecting their bone density etc. I'm not saying everyone starts peri at 35,its just the average age, and part of the reason why fertility is said to on average drop around then. Average age of postmen is 52, personally I know women still having regular periods at that age.
I believe it's 25% of women go through the process with little symptoms bar periods periods stopping (though I do wonder if they all realise that things like anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, memory issue, tinnitus, histamine issues/allergies, dry eyes etc can be peri related) and not everyone wants to go on HRT even if they are suffering

Not a joiner but as someone who took HRT for 4 yrs then had to go cold turkey when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then take hormone blockers I’d just like to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I was dreading going hormone free but since my FSH levels were high and suggested I was post meno when I was diagnosed with bc, I had a few weeks of hot flushes but now 4 yrs on I’m symptom free. I’ve managed to lose 2 stone this year and I’m still fairly fit and able.

I have no libido, but then with no hormones that no shock. I do suffer with joint pain and muscle pain but again, that’s due to hormone blockers. I can still out walk my slightly younger friend and sister who have abandoned HRT after 2-3 yrs because it wasn’t as “amazing” as they were lead to believe. Like me it got them through the rage and flushes, but had not effect on many of the other symptoms.

I am on the fence re bc. Despite all the media and celebrity reassurance I got the feeling from the breast surgeons and oncologists that they anticipate a bit of an upturn in cases of bc. From my own extensive research, most of the data is historic and involves women who were prescribed HRT post menopausally. The current trend to treat peri menopause is quite new unless you have had ovaries removed. It’s still a little early to see the longterm effects. Hopefully bc rates will remain the same and in the future women will feel safer taking HRT but I think the medical jury is still out on that one.

We have been messing around with our hormones for decades, and I for one am much happier without them. Having struggled with endometriosis and fibroids it is a relief to have a defunct reproductive system that no longer rules my every day life. I know that for many the menopause is often their first experience of problems so HRT is often necessary, but for those of us that have been plagued with problems it is a blessed relief.

Annoyingly peri/post menopause can result in IBS type symptoms even if you ve never had it, the artifical progestin in the pill is a different thing to the body identical progesterone that is part of HRT so it may still be worth trying if you decide to come off the pill

Thanks. I tried HRT last year and my shit sorry was like sludge but again that could have been the desogestrel

Another one with a late period. 40 days since my last one. Started hrt circa 6 months ago which ironically evened them out, got back into a regular cycle after years of anything from 16-36 days. Now all of a sudden this..

I have one 4 yr old and work part time, do childcare the rest of the time. It is intense . If i could get my sleep sorted that would help a lot