Anyone feeling totally fed up and bored with everything?

[Whatfreshhellisthis2]

I’m on HRT, but since being in menopause, I’ve noticed that I just can’t be bothered with anything anymore.

I used to be very driven at work- now I just can’t be bothered and feel like chucking in my career.

I’m sick of sexist twats and being patronised and treated like an idiot because I’m a woman. To be fair, this hasn’t changed in years, but I’m so done with it. after a particularly stressful day at work dealing with annoying ( male) colleagues, I actually felt jealous of women who found a husband with a good job and just went part time.

I think my tolerance for dealing with everyday misogyny has disappeared.

i used to love being active, running and going to the gym- i now have to drag myself to these activities.

Is this just what it’s like now?

Yep! I feel all those feelings creeping in.

My tolerance for bullshit is at zero. Particularly in meetings. People talk a whole load of crap in meetings nowadays.

Yep I feel like this but I only started hrt 3 months ago and it’s definitely that which is giving me this feeling as I didn’t have it before and it’s at a different level depending which phase of the patch I’m on. I had symptoms before and wasn’t a bundle of fun, but this can’t be bothered, loss of drive, everything’s pointless and/or annoying thing is different. I’m usually very ambitious and it’s the first time I’ve had feelings like I wish I could retire. I’ll be seeing if I can recalibrate the hrt at my next appointment and get myself back more. Hope you can feel more like yourself soon too.

I’m struggling with motivation. For work (which I usually love), for exercise (usually mixed but I definitely need to start).

Am feeling like a flump.

I have really struggled with this too lately especially after having one of the bugs going round. I normally like my job but it was all seeming pointless and I didn't want to get anything done. Everything seemed boring and not worth the effort. I'm not on HRT though in peri. I've improved a bit since getting over the bug but it bothers me as I'm usually a glass half full person and I really didn't feel like myself.

Yup. 49, no HRT or anything. Last children at a level time and off to uni in September so feels like that’s an era coming to an end, and just meh sits beyond. Contemplating HRT mainly for the malaise rather than any pressing physical symptoms.

I am 49, mine is more lack of motivation just can't be bothered. I am part-time and work in a mainly female workplace and have checked out long ago looking to move on can't be bothered to do anything about it.

I feel I just lack motivation. Easter coming up and normally I would have plans, maybe book a couple of nights away somewhere or a couple of day trips planned but I don't feel like facing the hassle of it all. I have 3 dds two with exams coming up so they'll be staying put to hopefully revise but my youngest is only 12 so feel a bit guilty that she is missing out, would have done loads with her sisters when they were her age. In saying all that I do have a busy life with kids very involved in sports so matches and training all the time I also coach one of their teams and play myself so maybe with a break ahead I do just need to rest so my subconscious is stopping me from making too many plans

It’s interesting to hear I’m not the only one. Also 49, and have only really noticed these feelings in the past couple of years.

I wonder if it’s hormonal, rather than just being a bit bored with life?

like you, @Mellowandfruitful i don’t like feeling like this. There’s a lot to be positive about life, but I’m just not feeling it.

@ComeAsYouAreAsAFriend the lack of motivation is a killer. Used to do so much with the kids. I’d go to all the toddler groups when they were younger, took them to everything when they probably would have been happy at the local park every day. Now they’re older and widening their horizons, I just can’t be arsed to take them to stuff.

has anyone come out the other side?

Also feeling like a flump!

I think it’s a big vicious circle. The lack of motivation means you move around less, then you eat more, put on weight. All of that makes you feel less energised and so the circle continues

It passes, try not to worry. It's a massive transition, emotionally and physically, our hormones are fluctuating hugely and we can be reevaluating life and what we want from it. It's like going through another sort of puberty type transition, working out who you are. I'm definitely settling down a bit now having felt like you describe. Let go of a lot of stuff that doesn't interest me or serve me, feel more confident in myself than ever!

I love the book Wise Power from the women who set up Red School, really empowering take on menopause

(hope that doesn't sound patronising, was meant to be reassuring!)

Definitely not patronising at all, reassuring and a good way of looking at things. It is a transition and I guess it happens for many of us at at time when our kids are also getting older so less reliant on us. I have 3 dds and looking back over the past 18 years when my eldest was born and all I have done for them no wonder I am shattered peri or not!!

It’s the lack of joy in anything. No spark. Where did that go? Do we need testosterone maybe?

I’m not even peri menopausal yet and feel like this. I have a very low tolerance for BS and other people it seems and feel a bit indifferent about some things. (I’m not depressed).

In some ways it’s quite nice as I’ve dropped the expectations to live or be a certain way, or to look a certain way to attract a partner and it’s quite freeing.

Hi , I’m nearly 52 and I’m really struggling with a lack of motivation. My ds 20 and dd15 both have additional needs . I really can’t bear the thought of doing day trips or anything like that .

This feeling flat is something I've noticed too. It's not being depressed, it's just not feeling big highs or big lows. I'm on hrt so can't work out if that's the cause, or if I'd feel like this anyway.

Not patronising at all and very reassuring!

its a good way of looking at it. It does feel a bit like puberty in that you re evaluate everything.

im glad that it can be a positive thing. I certainly know plenty of women way past menopause who are full of verve and energy ( and in good shape!!)

I wonder if testosterone is the answer, b it it doesn’t seem to be on offer in uk

It is, you just have to say you want it for reduced libido (even if that isn’t the case) and you have to have been on systemic HRT for at least 3 months. I think its absolutely disgusting that they’ll prescribe it for reduced libido but none of the other reasons people want it, as if having sex is a woman’s most important purpose in having it. 🙄

Saying that, I’ve tried it and it didn’t do anything for me. I’m 44 and been menopausal since 37 due to autoimmune issues, I stopped producing oestrogen completely then and been on HRT since, under private and nhs specialists.

It’s all quite shit really isn’t it. I feel very flat and lacking in purpose, not helped by my two dc becoming grown ups / teens and just generally not wanting much to do with me. And yeah I get the whole “find yourself” crap but actually being a Mum to my dc when they were younger gave me so much joy. It’s hard. I do all the usual stuff - hobbies, spend time with dh, blah blah. Still bored and fed up with everything.

100% to all that, OP.

The misogyny is everywhere, isn’t it? Women’s health only seems to be understood in relation to how it affects men.

I’m in a reasonably new relationship so not had the libido issues.

But in terms of how it affects my quality of life, I actually think it’s less important than having an overall zest for life.

This all resonates with me so much.
I am 51, and have felt like it for a couple of years really. It got worse since my mum died in 2022, and my dad died 2019.
I am still having periods pretty regularly unfortunately. Periods stopping would be the one upside to all this!
Workwise, I feel unappreciated generally and wish I could chuck it all in and just do what I want , although I'm not motivated to do stuff I like anyway! If I had more time I would do much more exercise as I have put on weight which is depressing.
I see my DD 18 enjoying life, loving studying and I'm happy for her but sad for myself. DS 16 has GCSEs and it's tough trying to get him to revise. DH is hard to live with at times too!
Also noticing everyday misogyny so much more, as PPs have said.

100% hence why viagra could be purchased otc years before vaginal oestrogen could.

This is absolutely what I needed to read this evening! I’m in bed, scrolling MN, just feeling totally flat, no drive, no joy, totally disconnected from life and my family. Hating work. Hating everything, really. I have THE RAGE all the time, with everything and everyone.
Feels slightly better to know I’m not alone.

I can relate to this. I had several years of feeling very flat and bored by everything. That feeling has gone away now (although I never feel the true excitement that I used to feel when I was in my teens and even my 20s). I have also found that my tolerance to men has been extremely lowered. I just don’t like a lot of men anymore. I have found that I’m sick to the back teeth of so many of them. They haven’t changed that much since I was young, so I’m pretty sure it’s me who has changed, and I feel it may be hormonal.

Possibly I have found my people… its the work thing that bothers me the most. I used to be so motivated and got on and now I just hate being there. The childless women in their 30s are just mean and generally no one knows their arse from their elbow.

Im on HRT but thinking I probably need a review; I have had the mirena since 2020, 100mg patches and take utrogeston each night but have had increased spotting of late. I cant even be bothered to look it up.

And yes, I feel like a flump too…