Im 40 and terrified of everything i hear about perimenopause.

[MyJadeStork]

Hey ladies,
I feel silly about this but it's really making me anxious so I thought id reach out. I just had a baby and turned 40, I don't know if I'm having a crisis but it's rocked me. I'm constantly targeted by perimenopause articles and memes and it sounds so awful it's making me feel so frightened to be in my 40s and like the best has gone. I've been scouring the Internet for positive stories but all I ever find are how you lose yourself, your body changes and you get really sad. I'm not sure if I'm in it but I was wondering if anyone had any good news stories? Is there anyone living in perimenopause who isn't totally miserable?

I honestly think id come back a bloke, at least they keep their bone density.

Thanks girls. Anything that I can cling on to lll take

X

It didn't hit till I was about 50, I think.

The experience was disconcerting - rather as puberty is. And it varies from person to person, to state the blindingly obvious. The hot flushes just felt rather strange. And night sweats meant having lighter bedding, changing nightwear more often, that sort of thing.

But having periods really isn't that much fun, and I'd say it is quite liberating when they stop.

The main thing is to take care of yourself, eat properly etc. I am probably as fit as I ever was - or fitter.

I think I've been in perimenopause for about 4 years (im now 55 and I haven't had a period for 3 months). Tbh it's fine. I like this stage of life. Children grown/growing up, quite on it at work. I haven't had symptoms I felt the need for hrt for. I would say it's harder to lose weight and injuries take longer to heal, plus I had a patch of burnout at work that needed handling. But I do have more of that DGAF energy, I do what I like doing.

Tbh what's the alternative?? Try a break from social media if the algorithm is giving you a hard time.

My only symptoms were heavy, erratic periods that started after the birth of my dc2 at 35 but over the next few years they gradually became heavier. GP suggested trying the mini pill. I eventually stopped having a period at all on the pill so I have no idea whether I actually still have periods, I’ve had no other symptoms at all. I’m 53 and GP has recommended staying on the pill until 55. Among my friends of similar age, none have had awful perimenopause or menopause symptoms. Hope this helps.

Honestly barely noticed the per and I turned 50 and one day my periods just stopped. I did gain weight that is harder to shift. Night sweats were bad but exacerbated by breast cancer drugs as
had cancer at the same time.

Theres a lot of bloody guff written about menopause lately. Get on and enjoy your 40's, best decade!

'Terrified' is a bit extreme!

Look, the menopause is inevitable - just as puberty and periods were. But everyone experiences them differently. From my own experience, I can reassure you that it was really nothing that wasn't copable with.

I couldn't take HRT because of a familial risk of breast cancer, so my GP recommended supplements that contained Black Cohosh.

I took Boots Menolieve (when I started experiencing symptoms), and that - along with a relatively low carb diet, really helped. Cutting out or down on alcohol and caffeine is also supposed to be helpful. I did neither of those!

I was lucky in that my only symptoms were hot flushes. I didn't have any of the other things that some women report - and you may also be lucky too.

I'd suggest that you book an appointment with your GP (ask if there's one at yur surgery that specialises in menopause) and discuss your concerns with her - hopefully - and work on a plan going forward.

You still have many years before the menopause is likely to 'kick in' - I think for me it was around 48 when my periods first started going awry.

Hi! I agree with previous posters, it’s really nothing to worry about. I went through the menopause at 54 (years ago) with no major symptoms. I exercised and ate healthily throughout and just took a herbal menopause supplement during the hot flush stage, that helped. A very small percentage of my friends had worse hot flushes and ended up on HRT but none of us have had issues that have stopped us working or enjoying time with family and friends.

You don't tend to hear about those that sail through it. It can be utterly miserable. The best advice is to prepare well.

It's really great that menopause is talked about more, that the wide range of symptoms and the impact they can have is better understood.

But the downside is now everyone expects a 'bad' one. Its like expecting all periods to be painful.

My menopause experience has been pretty good. I was still having periods at 55, which I was quite annoyed about, just bored with having them and having to plan for them. Felt a lot warmer at night. Periods were a bit heavier, due to fibroids. Started HRT to see if that helped with my brain fog. Then started bleeding heavily and got diagnosed with anaemia and adenomyosis. Had a mirena coil fitted, all good. Am still warmer at night and still some brain fog.

Loved turning 50, felt like I'd got really good at being me. Now 57 and, after a year of dieting (my first diet ever) and losing the 3.5st I put on over c20 years, now weigh less than I did at 40.

TLDR: expect changes, not necessarily bad.

Ladies thanks so much for these replies. It sounds like it is possible to get through without it being quite as miserable as everyone seems to report. You sound like a kiss ass group of women, I think I need to give my head a wobble..

Im going to keep reading these messages when I start feeling worried. And to the lady who said give social media a break, you're right!

I went into the menopause a few weeks ago (oophorectomy) and was expecting it to be hell on earth. Every symptom all at once!
But nothing, absolutely nothing. We don't store estrogen so I must've been in peri before and not noticed so try not to worry about it. What will be, will be. But it might be nothing.

This does sound extreme OP. How olds your baby? Are you sure this isn’t something else manifesting as menopause worry?

Im early 40s but pretty sure I’m seeing signs of peri and it’s something you can prepare for. Healthy diet, weight training, understanding HRT and managing stress all contribute so the best thing you can do is research it and do what you can to minimise its impact.

Don't believe everything you read, OP! I don't really know what "perimenopause" is supposed to mean, tbh. My periods stopped when I was 56. That was it. Nothing to see here.

Yes, I was lucky, but no two women are the same. Many have no issues at all. And those who experience symptoms are able to get support and, if necessary, medication etc. It's not an illness, it's just a normal stage of life - you just deal with it appropriately. No need to be "terrified".

And you've probably got 10 years before you even need to think about this stuff. Just enjoy your life!

I'm over 50 and the menopause hasn't been a big deal. About 45 my hip bones started to hurt a bit. Then I had a phase of night sweats (a bit annoying but not painful), then I went through a phase of hating everyone except my kids (that was the worst part).
Then I went on HRT and everything was fine. I should've done it before but I'd been put off by the horror stories of side effects (weight gain, nausea).
Many women have few major issues with the menopause, and its just another phase of life. I imagine old age will be more difficult than this phase. Its important to feel optimistic and resilient about life's journey. You only get to do it once!

I’m 34 and it does scare me. Perimenopause seems to be a hot topic of discuss recently which is great but now we’re hearing mostly how bad it is imo.

I may be flamed for this, and i'm sure some women have a horrible time, in the same way some women have horrible periods, horrible pregnancies etc... but for me I had a few months of erratic periods where I took a towel . tampax out with me wherever I went as I never knew if I would come on or not, that lasted about 6 months, I then didn't have a period for three months and I thought that was it, I then came on, had a period and haven't had another for a year - and so far I feel no different apart from I don't worry about periods.

I'm actually really bored of all the media attention - i'm probably lucky and i've probably cursed myself now - but as with everything don't listen to everythig you hear would be my advice.

I agree with @FlickFlackTrap - it sounds as if you have some degree of PND or just bog standard anxiety/depression and it has hooked onto menopause as the thing you are worrying about. Please speak to your GP or health visitor about how you are feeling.

It's a double edged sword, in one way I really wish more people had been speaking out about menopause 10 years ago or even 5 or 6 years ago as I would have joined the dots about what was happening to me after my hysterectomy more quickly. I thought it was hot flushes and that was it.

But on the other hand you are only hearing the people who had a rough time speaking out, there is nothing to make a programme or podcast about if you sail through with no symptoms, which frightens younger women.

I am in menopause now- aged 52. Honestly- for me it's not been so bad. The hot flushes are uncomfortable it has to be said, but not everyone gets them. I do have issues with my weight- but I always have.

best thing ever though- i am so much less of a people pleaser. I am definitely becoming more sure of myself and more confident and take less crap. I have heard that this happens in menopause and it is frankly liberating.

I have been lucky though throughout my life with hormones. Never had huge issues with periods thankfully.

One thing I did do though was i attended some seminars about the relation between menopause and anxiety. I have always had stages of depression my whole entire life and I am better at managing it and went along to some sessions run by a local charity (very local to where i live) and got some great insights into things and met with some wonderful women. So my takeaway from that is if you are struggling in any way, seek out support with women who have been there or who are there. It helped me anyway.

I'm 56, hadn't had a period in many years due to the pill. I have osteoporosis (strong family hisyory so it was always likely). I don't always sleep well but other than that, not a thing - no hot flushes, night sweats etc. My sister is a couple of years older and had/having much the same experience.

Seems a waste of time to be so worried about something that may or may not cause you any difficulties.

I had never even heard of peri in my 30s and 40s. When I got to late 40s I did sometimes wonder how bad menopause would be but time went on and I stopped dwelling on it

Don't be, I had zero symptoms as did most of my friends tbh, we'd never heard of Peri menopause, it wasn't a thing then. My period just stopped and that was it I was in menopause. Not HRT either.

If you're really feeling this anxious, please seek help.
Anxiety and fixations can be significant in the post partum period.

I'm 55 and not in menopause yet, you have plenty on time ahead of you.

I agree. I’m really scared too. I was talking to my husband about this about how for women often once you have your babies it’s ’end of Story’. So now there’s all the pain of peri too. Ugh. Hard to feel positive.

Only symptoms I got was my regular as clockwork periods were strangely heavy with a bit of midmonth spotting. Periods stopped in my early 50s.

I'm 52 and still having regular periods except for once or twice when they are about 2 weeks late. I had my DS at 40 and had 10 good years where I still felt young and fit. Now I don't feel either of these things and find exercise really hard. I have night sweats and all-over aching. I tried HRT but it did nothing to help. I realise this isn't helping sorry! The only thing I'd say is that every woman is different and you might sail through. I'm still waiting for the menopause to hit and I'm not even sure I'm in peri tbh.
I just advise you to be gentle on yourself and to hell with hrt!!

I know everybody's experience is different and I do feel for women who have difficulties around the time of the menopause. But I wanted to reassure you that menopause itself is not an illness and there are many, many women for whom there are simply no problems at all throughout this period of life.

Like any other bodily phenomenon, menopause can go wrong and cause illness. But that isn't destiny, any more than other illnesses are. The way menopause is talked about these days it feels like we are going back to the bad old days in which 'women of a certain age' were regarded as inevitably broken and damaged and strange.

It is really unbelievable how much menopause and perimenopause have been talked up over the last several years. Only about ten percent of the enlarged conversation around menopause is a genuine response to previously unacknowledged women's needs. The rest is just content creation by a media constantly hungry for fashionable topics, and cynical attempts by businesses to monetise a new talking point.