I just cannot lose my peri stomach ( and boobs)

[Gladiator552]

Hi all, honestly how does one get rid of that barrel shape look?! I’ve always been slim without effort until I was about 40. Now im a tight size 14. Im 44 now
im on HRT, active, I do something every day 10000 steps a day
I haven’t had a drink in 3 months
healthy meals- protein rich
today was Greek yoghurt with flaxseed, raspberries and chia seeds at 10am after fasting for 13 hours
then lunch was two scrambled eggs with spinach, smokerel mackerel, kale, cucumber and mixed beans salad- just a plate full no dressing
banana
hsndful of nuts
then 45 mins weights in gym, resistance machines
also had a three mile walk
dinner one plate of pasta with olives and pesto as need to food shop soon
I did have 3 small biscuits
I also swam an hour this week, a 3 mile run and walking the dog. Will have another swim and weights this week. I also do 5-10 mins core here and there
I have always been fairly active but upped my strength training as want to change my “doughy middle”
my arms and legs are fairly slim and toned, it’s just my matronly boobs and huge bloated belly I hate. I just cannot seem to lose any weight and it’s really getting me down I cannot seem to get any results or wear what I want without looking frumpy.I hate myself when I see me in the gym mirrors
anyone still reading has any advise please?

My mum is 78, very slim and active, but still has a belly. Doesn;t give me much hope.

I'm sorry about your MIL.

Unfortunately, weight for women is a huge risk factor for all female cancers (especially breast and endometrial cancer.) being overweight has 8 x the risk factor compared to HRT for example.

Being weight- conscious is about being healthy, not vanity.

OP's food list is more than mine. I'm not thin, normal BMI, just petite.

I hear you OP. My tum is the same except I'm 10 yrs older , and my boobs aren't that big.

I feel its hard to look good in clothes but you're probably taller than me -

it took me ages to accept i was size 16 around the waist, I went 3 or 4 years without buying new skirts or trousers, until I was forced to accept i had to go up a size.

No advice, but you sound to be doing loads of the right things.

I had to quit running because of my knees , but I'm off for a swim soon.

I'm very slim at 50 (just over 8 stone) but always have been. I have porridge (half a cup porridge, half a cup FF milk and 1 cup water) with fruit/nuts/seeds for breakfast.

For lunch 2 eggs, corn crackers and some salad leaves. For dinner chicken thigh with skin on, wholemeal rice/noodles and 2 or 3 veg. I have some Kefir yoghurt everyday which I find really helps with bloating and I take an A-Z vitamin every few days. Also the occasional Mars/ Snickers ice cream or two layers of joys pots.I walk a lot but don't do any other exercise.

I couldn't live on what some people are saying they eat on here, I'd faint.

@Lentilweaver - my dm too was very petite and slim and very active, having no car, but had to wear size 16 trousers/skirts (and 18-20 pants!!) to accommodate her stomach ☹️

Now the genes are having their evil way with me, as my waist and stomach are growing by the day.

Now I know why elasticated trousers like Damart are a win: a fixed waist is useless if you just have a fat tummy. Actually I bought some (plain black) trousers from Bon Marche - the comfort!

I'm so glad to read responses like this. A lot if this thread is bloody despairing. I thought we'd come further than this....can't we be happy in our skins with a bit of a squishy tummy and boobs as we age. Our bodies go through enough in our lives to go on starvation diets to try and achieve the bodies we had in our 20's. OP if you're a healthy weight, eat well and exercise can you not learn to embrace the normal changes in your body shape? And goodness me...allow yourself a glass of wine at the weekend if you want it! Life is too short, and we need to think about the messages we are passing down to younger women.

Far from an expert but exercise has never helped with weight loss for me. Potentially some benefit in maintaining a weight. And of course in keeping fit, heart health etc. I think it’s all about what we eat. Weightwatchers is good. Helps you lose weight and learn healthy habits without starving yourself. I can’t do fasting type diets, just too restrictive.

You say you are on HRT, maybe you have scope to increase the dose (oestrogen). Also agree with pp about maybe looking at testosterone. Testosterone helps you build muscle.

There a comment upthread about ‘vanity hormones’. Keeping your body in good shape, with good muscle mass and not too much visceral body fat (which has massive health implications) is nothing to do with vanity. You need this to go into older age healthily. Pear shapes have it easier because fat stored on the hips and arse can’t do as much damage. I get it all on my love handles so more at the back of my middle than the front but still the middle.

Do you do exercise that targets the midriff? Eg sit ups or various Pilates type movements.

I feel your pain. I have the rounded tummy, big boobs and short torso thing going on. Any excuse and my boobs will grow. Food has some impact but I do think it is hormonal and exacerbated by chemicals in what we eat or drink. My mum and grandma weighed more at the same age but didnt have the boobs.

I am a normal BMI C23 but can look hefty on photos from the wrong angle. I am just someone who looks bigger than they are - even when I was dead on 9stone and 5,4 I could look a bit matronly in the wrong outfit. I am fit and healthy and ok-ish with it - although I may go for a reduction at some point as they feel a bit heavy.

What I am saying is some of it might be natural body shape. I have found going keto/ low carb quite effective at losing excess while eating normal amounts. My weight crept up last year and it has bought it all back down. It definitely reduced the tum too but once you get to normal weight this way of eating doesn’t do that much.

So won’t give you your dream body but will at least help you stay in the healthy range. Perhaps it’s worth a try? I have the odd glass of wine once or twice a week but other than that no sugar or refined carbs. I find the carbs I take in from almonds or berries and vegetables and a bit of greek yoghurt enough to sustain me. I also do feel very energetic and my skin is good.

On the plus side people often think I’m lots younger than my actual age, I got the under 25 check the other week in a shop - so I think diet is playing a part!

Thanks for all the replies, some food for thought ha
I enjoy my exercise and I know I have to fuel my body for this so I dont want to go too low cals but I probably could reduce it somewhat.
However, life is way too short to live on some cucumber and lettuce leaves and skip whole meals.
I love food too much and there’s no way I would life on nothing. As one of the PP said I prefer fit/strong over skinny and miserable. I also want to age well hence why I want to eat nutritious food even if a handful of nuts is calorific etc
I just wanted to see if there was anything else I could do but for now I’ll just reduce the biscuits and carry on with the exercise and hope for the best. It’s a vanity thing I know but would just love to be able to wear nicer clothes again.
I guess I’ll keep trying ☺️

Honestly OP, you seem to.lead a v healthy life. Maybe swap Oreos or Hobnobs.for Rich Tea.. And eat a bit less pasta. But not cut it out totally. I eat my rice from a small bowl now rather than a plate. It helps

I read something ages ago which said that eating 2 biscuits a day of top of what we need to maintain our weight would result in a stone weight gain over a year.

I'm old enough to be your mother, OP, and eat roughly what you do , minus the nuts and biscuits. I'd probably have saved the mackerel to have with a salad in the evening, as the eggs at lunchtime would have been enough.

I eat the same breakfast as you listed, and a snack is an oatcake or two with almond butter, usually. And a square of 80% dark choc.

Also if I eat carbs like pasta or rice, I try to eat it at lunch rather than dinner. Seems to make a difference.

Get a hula hoop and do it in front of the TV. It does seem to make a difference. And sorry, but cut out the sugar and empty carbs (biscuits). Better to have good quality dark choc instead. But you're doing really well!

Yes my MIL is thin. She barely eats and admits to one meal a day. She also eats very slowly. She never snacks or gets a takeaway. She is small and fine boned with hardly any muscle.

When people say “a square of dark choc” I wonder what they mean?

I would start out thinking one of the ( slightly rectangular) gridded bumps on, say, a Cadbury’s bar - or an individual square on other Green and Blacks type brands. But, especially AFTER eating it, I would think that is cutting it relatively fine and more of a morsel than a snack; and then in France the Cote d’Or and similar brands have actual squares about 4 x larger and I think to myself that’s more like it! Come to think of it a Ritter slab is square … though maybe now I’m pushing it. But I can always buy a rectangle of chocolate and simply snap a few rows off to make a square. Just what is a square? Could a “row” count? A row on a Green and Black’s bar ( across the short side of the rectangle, not the long side!) seems a reasonable “ portion” of chocolate to me. Anything else is way too coquettish and simply gets me chocolate-randy and frustrated.😕

also i try to est morre of my calories earlier in the day. For dinner I might have a roast cauliflower with sumac/harrisa or garlic and some greek yoghurt! It is delicious!

Crikey neither would I!!!
if that’s apparently ‘loads of food’ I give up.

Posters should be careful that they are not passing on their own disordered eating and thought processes to the OP (and other readers!)

sorry it’s so hard. I’ve gained so much weight since passing 40 and also being on antidepressants. Largely for me I’m just hungry ALL the time. I think another PP had written that they manage to stick to 1200 calories and then get too hungry and binge. This is what happens to me.

it sounds like your meals wouldn’t be much above 1200 cals (maybe less!). I guess my only suggestion would be switch pasta to something like bulgur wheat, and maybe add a bit of tuna or something to up the protein?

I actually came looking for inspiration too and your meals sound healthy and tasty so thanks for meal ideas too :)

When people say “a square of dark choc” I wonder what they mean?

@Calliopespa

Okay for reference, you did ask!

Waitrose No 1, Madagascar 75% choc.

Ingredients are cocoa, cane sugar, cocoa butter. no emulsifiers or added flavourings or vanilla.

100g bar with 8 squares.

Info from the packaging.

1 square is 58 calories.
2.5gms sugar (half a teaspoon.)

Exactly. They mean don't eat the whole bar. Just a square. Half a teaspoon of sugar is a lot.

There's a book or TV series in this thread. Whoever works out the answer to this would be very rich!
It's given me a lot to think about. I read a lot about nutrition. There's so much pressure from television and social media, magazines etc. to eat correctly - more protein, 30 types of fruit & veg for optimum gut biome, more legumes for longevity, omega 3 for brain health, calcium to protect against osteoporosis, fruit and veg for antioxidants to prevent cancer and heart disease, fibre.. I could go on. Basically one cherry tomato and a petit filou a day probably isn't going to cut it. But how can you achieve all of these ideals on so few calories?
I was also thinking about how life is different now to when my grandparents were my age. They looked old then! But that was OK. We expect to live longer now and expect to look younger too. I was thinking about Italian 'nonnas' and other cultures who don't expect their older women to look and dress like teenagers whereas we follow Hollywood and endless face-lifts and liposuction which is probably unachievable for the average woman. Maybe it's about expectations?
I know I should accept myself the way I am now. I'm healthy and reasonably fit, which is a privilege denied to my mum and grandmother, and cousin who have all passed away too soon. Easier said than done, though, isn't it? To not despair every time you pass a mirror or a shop window and think 'Oh my god, who's that tubby old lady?'

I'm only 37 but cannot get down below 10 stone. I used to be able to eat like a horse.

I'm not yet at peri so don't feel able to comment on the effect that has. But the thing that strikes me reading your post is that there's no indication of portion sizes. A 'plate of pasta with olives and pesto' could be 400cals or 1000cals depending on your portion sizes. Two scrambled eggs could be 120cals or easily double that depending on egg size and how much oil/butter etc you're adding etc.

Across the whole day your meals, as described, could be 1500 calories or they could be 2500 calories

I would have a week of eating what you are currently eating - but measure and record everything to give you an idea of how many calories you're actually consuming. That will then give you the information to actually work out what changes you need to make. No one can really give you advice without knowing how much you currently eat.

Oh but those are big squares ( like the French ones). Lots of chocolate cones in squares about 2cm x 2cm and I was wondering if that was what people were meaning when using the singular!

I think there’s a lot of food for thought ( forgive me!) in this post.

It’s very true that if you eat for health ( ie sufficient calcium to stave off osteoporosis, enough fibre to prevent bowel cancer etc) you will end up with a very different diet from one designed to keep in a size 8 bikini. I guess just as they say there comes a point when your skin is so collagen depleted you “ have to choose between your bum and your face,” similarly there is probably a choice to
be made between your health and your bikini.

Exactly. They mean don't eat the whole bar. Just a square. Half a teaspoon of sugar is a lot.

@HowIrresponsible 2.5gms of sugar is not a lot if that's the only sugar you have in a day (and that's being aware of nd avoiding 'hidden' sugar in ready meals, sauces, cakes, biscuits, drinks etc.)

The 'allowed' amount per day is 30gms. 6 teaspoons.