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Menopause

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I just cannot lose my peri stomach ( and boobs)

179 replies

Gladiator552 · 27/06/2024 20:40

Hi all, honestly how does one get rid of that barrel shape look?! I’ve always been slim without effort until I was about 40. Now im a tight size 14. Im 44 now
im on HRT, active, I do something every day 10000 steps a day
I haven’t had a drink in 3 months
healthy meals- protein rich
today was Greek yoghurt with flaxseed, raspberries and chia seeds at 10am after fasting for 13 hours
then lunch was two scrambled eggs with spinach, smokerel mackerel, kale, cucumber and mixed beans salad- just a plate full no dressing
banana
hsndful of nuts
then 45 mins weights in gym, resistance machines
also had a three mile walk
dinner one plate of pasta with olives and pesto as need to food shop soon
I did have 3 small biscuits
I also swam an hour this week, a 3 mile run and walking the dog. Will have another swim and weights this week. I also do 5-10 mins core here and there
I have always been fairly active but upped my strength training as want to change my “doughy middle”
my arms and legs are fairly slim and toned, it’s just my matronly boobs and huge bloated belly I hate. I just cannot seem to lose any weight and it’s really getting me down I cannot seem to get any results or wear what I want without looking frumpy.I hate myself when I see me in the gym mirrors
anyone still reading has any advise please?

OP posts:
Custardandrhubarbcrumble · 28/06/2024 07:14

My lovely MIL died in her 50s from breast cancer. She had spent many years denying herself food she wanted due to trying to lose weight. My personal opinion is, life is too short to spend it starving yourself and worrying about the fact your body doesn't look like it did when you were 20. Getting older is a privilege. Embrace it.

OPs diet sounds insanely healthy to me (you should see what I eat!!!!) so was amazed to see people suggesting she eat even less. I'm overweight but I'd rather enjoy my life than starve. I exercise to try to stay relatively healthy not to lose weight.

ooooohnoooooo · 28/06/2024 07:16

I'm nearly 60 and still pretty active but I do think that as we age we slow down and burn fewer calories just in the general moving about bit of life.

Plus, when kids are smaller we are SO busy that we never stop or sit down for long - always dashing to school/nursery then off to work, then mad dash home, running round after kids, not sitting down til 9pm. And we are concentrating on feeding kids healthy foods so we eat better without even thinking about it.

As we get older we slow down a bit, do less mad rushing around inside the house and out of it, we have more time to think about what we are eating so probably eat more (because we are thinking mmmmm I'm hungry), whereas before we'd be so distracted with small children mayhem that even if we were peckish, we'd not have time to fulfil that. So we probably ate fewer cals, and burned more, so stayed slimmer. We'd also be more toned as muscle mass is denser when young.

I think it's important not to try and reclaim bodies of our youth (or faces come to that) , and to embrace the ageing. If we are slightly more rounded in the middle, so be it. Embrace that our incredible bodies grew humans and are a bit stretched as a result.

For me it's all about health now. And not letting poor eating habits get out of control to avoid the over-fat middle that increases risks of T2 diabetes and other nasties.

So for me rounded belly =fine and gorgeous, fat belly=potentially poor health so needs controlling.

I really don't think there is a need for extreme dieting all the time, Just simply lots and lots of veggies, a good amount of protein (both to make you feel full and have a healthy gut) and low ish carbs (to avoid blood sugar spikes, bloating and largely empty calories). All complemented by regular exercise (weights a must for bone density) and Yoga (for balance), walking/cycling/swimming (for cardio).

The occasional fast day to kick start cell regeneration.

Lentilweaver · 28/06/2024 07:19

I am ok with being a bit father but with Asian genes I have to keep my BMI below 23. It's so HARD.
I am considering a personal trainer in October.

Lentilweaver · 28/06/2024 07:23

Fatter not father!

WiseBiscuit · 28/06/2024 07:26

I’m sorry but I am not spending my life like that, I’d rather be fat. I’m 46 and have the size 14 stomach and boobs after a life of being skinny. But I am not going to obsessively calorie count or give up every pleasure.

Low carb and sugar and fasting yes, I can do that and feel well.

Teeny tiny meals and misery absolutely not.

DH likes the tits. So it’s not all bad.

ThePoshUns · 28/06/2024 07:31

I've been drinking apple cider vinegar daily ( in sparkling water), it seems to help fight hunger pangs and I think has helped with belly fat.
It may be a placebo affect.
I'm same as you though very active eat healthy.
It's very hard to eat lots of protein as recommended and keep calories low.

Feeeqq · 28/06/2024 07:35

Wow I haven’t read all the feedback but some of it is very extreme. You can’t survive on so few calories! For what? The “thin myth”?

Did you have children, OP? I have a very active life, eat incredibly healthy food, and don’t drink etc but I’ll never shift my belly or saggy boobs because I had babies and the skin is all stretched out. Well, unless I had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction.

I hear you, I hate them, but I think that’s society telling me to hate them and constant body shaming messages from my youth.

You sound fit and strong. How do you feel in your mind? (Boobs / belly aside.)

I want to move past this internalised misogyny that women should be smaller and smaller and hungry all the time - and care, instead, about how healthy I feel. I haven’t yet, but I want to.

amylou8 · 28/06/2024 07:39

Same problem here. 47, I've lost 3 stone on a whole food plant based diet. Do 15-20k steps a day. Now a comfortable size 12 everywhere except my belly which I struggle to get into a size 14/16 jeans. Consequently I'm living in trackies and leggings as anything with a fixed waist is out of proportion everywhere else, and dresses make me look pregnant. But of a bummer after the effort of losing the weight!

Lentilweaver · 28/06/2024 07:42

amylou8 · 28/06/2024 07:39

Same problem here. 47, I've lost 3 stone on a whole food plant based diet. Do 15-20k steps a day. Now a comfortable size 12 everywhere except my belly which I struggle to get into a size 14/16 jeans. Consequently I'm living in trackies and leggings as anything with a fixed waist is out of proportion everywhere else, and dresses make me look pregnant. But of a bummer after the effort of losing the weight!

How have you managed to lose 3 stone on a whole food plant based diet? That;s amazing. I have been eating that all my life and I always wonder how it's held up as great for weight loss. I think it's good for health, but not necessarily for menopausal weight gain, which seems to be mainly hormonal for me.

tartancladpjs · 28/06/2024 07:42

amylou8 · 28/06/2024 07:39

Same problem here. 47, I've lost 3 stone on a whole food plant based diet. Do 15-20k steps a day. Now a comfortable size 12 everywhere except my belly which I struggle to get into a size 14/16 jeans. Consequently I'm living in trackies and leggings as anything with a fixed waist is out of proportion everywhere else, and dresses make me look pregnant. But of a bummer after the effort of losing the weight!

I have the same issue but how and where does everyone fit in 10-15k steps?

For me to do 10k would take an hour 40, so 15k I'm going to guess is 2.5 hours a day of walking!

Do you have walking pad thingies?

MadameMassiveSalad · 28/06/2024 07:44

Feeeqq · 28/06/2024 07:35

Wow I haven’t read all the feedback but some of it is very extreme. You can’t survive on so few calories! For what? The “thin myth”?

Did you have children, OP? I have a very active life, eat incredibly healthy food, and don’t drink etc but I’ll never shift my belly or saggy boobs because I had babies and the skin is all stretched out. Well, unless I had a tummy tuck and a breast reduction.

I hear you, I hate them, but I think that’s society telling me to hate them and constant body shaming messages from my youth.

You sound fit and strong. How do you feel in your mind? (Boobs / belly aside.)

I want to move past this internalised misogyny that women should be smaller and smaller and hungry all the time - and care, instead, about how healthy I feel. I haven’t yet, but I want to.

So with you.
Fit & healthy over skinny 💕

Nectarinesarenice · 28/06/2024 07:45

Wow I haven’t read all the feedback but some of it is very extreme. You can’t survive on so few calories! For what? The “thin myth”?

I agree, some of these responses are mind blowing; 1 cherry tomato!

It is possible to lose those extra pounds and not starve, I set my calories limit at 1440 and have lost that extra weight steadily, it’s just not as fast as when I was younger, but to me it’s important to get a good variety of food and nutrients that are going to make me feel good mentally and physically.

Lentilweaver · 28/06/2024 07:48

tartancladpjs · 28/06/2024 07:42

I have the same issue but how and where does everyone fit in 10-15k steps?

For me to do 10k would take an hour 40, so 15k I'm going to guess is 2.5 hours a day of walking!

Do you have walking pad thingies?

I got rid of my car in the pandemic. Best thing I ever did. I lost a stone and am so much more toned. Most people can;t do this, but I am in London Zone 3 so can walk everywhere. I prefer walking to every other form of exercise.

Walking12345 · 28/06/2024 07:56

I also don’t have any advice but wanted to empathise. I’ve never had to watch what I eat but my weight and dress size has been creeping up over the last few years and I'm
hitting classic peri age & having a few symptoms.
Im trying to reduce my calories and exercise more. I believe it’s the former that helps most but I am finding it difficult. I have an active social life and I don’t want to lose that. It’s takeaway tonight with friends so that’s another bad day. But I’ve got to resolve that as long as I’m good the rest of the day and on other days then that’s better than if I wasn’t.
I want to be slimmer but maybe I have to admit it’s not that realistic to want to be the weight I was when I was much younger and still have fun so I need to aim for a compromise.
My vegetarian friends all seem thin and I did have a patch of reduced meat as it’s better for the environment so might try that.

EsmeWWax · 28/06/2024 07:57

ooooohnoooooo · 28/06/2024 07:16

I'm nearly 60 and still pretty active but I do think that as we age we slow down and burn fewer calories just in the general moving about bit of life.

Plus, when kids are smaller we are SO busy that we never stop or sit down for long - always dashing to school/nursery then off to work, then mad dash home, running round after kids, not sitting down til 9pm. And we are concentrating on feeding kids healthy foods so we eat better without even thinking about it.

As we get older we slow down a bit, do less mad rushing around inside the house and out of it, we have more time to think about what we are eating so probably eat more (because we are thinking mmmmm I'm hungry), whereas before we'd be so distracted with small children mayhem that even if we were peckish, we'd not have time to fulfil that. So we probably ate fewer cals, and burned more, so stayed slimmer. We'd also be more toned as muscle mass is denser when young.

I think it's important not to try and reclaim bodies of our youth (or faces come to that) , and to embrace the ageing. If we are slightly more rounded in the middle, so be it. Embrace that our incredible bodies grew humans and are a bit stretched as a result.

For me it's all about health now. And not letting poor eating habits get out of control to avoid the over-fat middle that increases risks of T2 diabetes and other nasties.

So for me rounded belly =fine and gorgeous, fat belly=potentially poor health so needs controlling.

I really don't think there is a need for extreme dieting all the time, Just simply lots and lots of veggies, a good amount of protein (both to make you feel full and have a healthy gut) and low ish carbs (to avoid blood sugar spikes, bloating and largely empty calories). All complemented by regular exercise (weights a must for bone density) and Yoga (for balance), walking/cycling/swimming (for cardio).

The occasional fast day to kick start cell regeneration.

This absolutely

Beautiful3 · 28/06/2024 08:04

Fasting is great and the hula hoop while watching tv has really improved my peri menopausal tummy. I've dropped from a UK 14/16 to a 12. Get a weighted hoop from amazon, they're cheap and work.

JinglingSpringbells · 28/06/2024 08:12

Gladiator552 · 27/06/2024 20:40

Hi all, honestly how does one get rid of that barrel shape look?! I’ve always been slim without effort until I was about 40. Now im a tight size 14. Im 44 now
im on HRT, active, I do something every day 10000 steps a day
I haven’t had a drink in 3 months
healthy meals- protein rich
today was Greek yoghurt with flaxseed, raspberries and chia seeds at 10am after fasting for 13 hours
then lunch was two scrambled eggs with spinach, smokerel mackerel, kale, cucumber and mixed beans salad- just a plate full no dressing
banana
hsndful of nuts
then 45 mins weights in gym, resistance machines
also had a three mile walk
dinner one plate of pasta with olives and pesto as need to food shop soon
I did have 3 small biscuits
I also swam an hour this week, a 3 mile run and walking the dog. Will have another swim and weights this week. I also do 5-10 mins core here and there
I have always been fairly active but upped my strength training as want to change my “doughy middle”
my arms and legs are fairly slim and toned, it’s just my matronly boobs and huge bloated belly I hate. I just cannot seem to lose any weight and it’s really getting me down I cannot seem to get any results or wear what I want without looking frumpy.I hate myself when I see me in the gym mirrors
anyone still reading has any advise please?

@Gladiator552 I think, being honest, you just need to be really strict with what you're eating.

What you posted here sounds great, apart from the 3 biscuits. I know that may sound 'picky' but depending on which biscuits, they could be 80 cals each = 240cals- which is almost another light meal (like 3 eggs.)
Ditto the handful of nuts. Huge amount of calories.

So, adding those 2 snacks together, it's another meal. Possibly 500cals?

That's what's adding the weight (or rather not helping you lose it.)

There's great saying "you can't outrun the fork'.

Weight loss is down to 80% food and 20% exercise.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 28/06/2024 08:13

thenightsky · 27/06/2024 22:56

This is the conclusion I've just come to after a year of living on 1,200 calories a day and maintaining on that.

This last week I've been having one egg or half a tin of tuna and some salad leaves, 4 cherry tomatoes and a bit of cucumber for lunch. No breakfast and try to keep that lunch at bay until 2pm. Dinner is one slice of toast with marmite or a bowl of greek yoghurt. Go to bed hungry.

I've shifted 3lb so far, but its hard.

This isn’t a diet, it’s an eating disorder.

JinglingSpringbells · 28/06/2024 08:14

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 28/06/2024 08:13

This isn’t a diet, it’s an eating disorder.

If anyone does have this, posts like this aren't exactly helpful.

There are better ways of questioning what the poster has said.

mumzof4x · 28/06/2024 08:36

@Snippit great that you've found something that's worked for you.
I'm interested in the probiotics .... which one do you get the one for women / every day or high strength please?
Might try the tumeric although I'm not entirely sure how pure the Tumeric powder in my cupboard is !

Lentilweaver · 28/06/2024 08:41

I have eaten turmeric and natural yoghurt daily since I was 7 months old, as do most Asians. Does fuck all for weight gain! 😂

mandarindreams · 28/06/2024 08:44

torridthrow · 27/06/2024 21:04

I had to literally stop eating much food. Went down to barely any food for a few months.

1 egg and 1/8 avocado and 1 cherry tomato for brunch

Sliced tomatoes and cucumber for early dinner

Nothing else.

Sound mental right? In the end that's the only thing that worked. Down from a 14ish to a 10.

Now I'm eating a bit more but basically I now know I will never eat a whole pizza. I will never have a whole bowl of pasta. Or anything resembling a full meal.

I train hard and bizarrely I am stronger than ever. I don't understand it but there you go.

Just put this into MyFitnessPal. Approximately 150 calories for the day. 10g of protein. 1% of RDA of Vitamin A. 10% of RDA of calcium. 10% of RDA of iron. Not enough of any of the nutrients you need to function apart from possibly Vitamin C. For months on end.

Maybe your doctor disagrees, but I'd venture that malnutrition is worse for you than carrying an extra stone or so of weight in peri.

Jellygold · 28/06/2024 08:51

You see a lot of elderly people around who are very slim/thin. Surely they can't be doing lots of exercise or weights. I wonder if they eat hardly anything too to remain that size?

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 28/06/2024 09:10

Following with interest 👀

JinglingSpringbells · 28/06/2024 09:16

Jellygold · 28/06/2024 08:51

You see a lot of elderly people around who are very slim/thin. Surely they can't be doing lots of exercise or weights. I wonder if they eat hardly anything too to remain that size?

What do you consider elderly@Jellygold ?

I'd call 'elderly' over 80.

I know plenty of people in their 70s who are very active. They play tennis, go on long walks regularly, dig the garden, go to the gym, swim, etc.

My Mum was walking 2-3 miles several times a week to do her shopping, carrying it home, well into her late 70s and managing a massive gardening doing heavy digging etc.

Older people lose muscle. So that's why they often look thinner.