Can’t find any motivation

[MsAnnFrope]

Anyone else feeling like they just want to run away to a secluded hut with some books, art materials and a good supply of decaf coffee?
joking aside, I just can’t be bother to do anything. Every commitment or emotional demand seems too much. The biggest issue is understandably work. I’m signed off due to horrendous perimenopause anxiety and depression and I just don’t want to go back. I loved my job, was fascinated by the work, have great colleagues and I’m just feeling dead to it all now. If I was made redundant I’d be so so happy.
im 90% sure the feeling is just related to my hormones. Im definitely in perimenopause but can’t have hRT for health reasons. But if I don’t do something then soon I’ll be perimenopausal and unemployed.

You have my sympathy. I can't have hrt and life feels like a pointless slog at times. Anti depressants definitely help. And testosterone. And exercise.
I miss my oestrogen

Are you absolutely sure you can't have HRT?

Just asking as so many posters say this and it often turns out they have read something online which is wrong, or even their GP/ consultant is wrong.

The only absolute no-nos are recent breast cancer, stroke or heart attack. Or some genetic clotting risk.

Other things like high BP, migraine, 'family history' , weight, etc are not contraindications.

Obviously, apologies if you have had BC, stroke etc. In which case your consultant should refer you to a menopause specialist who can offer alternative meds or treatments.

Thanks @JinglingSpringbells it’s high blood pressure which is the issue. Plus family clotting history. I’m trying to bring the bp down and can revisit in 3 months.
Im on sertraline and have been for years but I wonder about asking for a medication review.
@rumred exercise, especially outside is what is keeping me even human at the moment. It sucks doesn’t it. My estrogen went sky high and then dropped really low. No idea why either!

Yeah I totally get you. I also really can't even be arsed to be in a relationship anymore, I just want them to f off.

I'm a former workaholic who has lost her work mojo. At the moment I can still fake enthusiasm when I need to but I am hoping circumstances will allow me to retire early. I'm sure it is hormonal, combined with a bit of burnout due to a toxic previous role. Perimeno sucks.

Is your high blood pressure medicated? I'm on three different tablets for mine and I can have HRT. I'm also on ADs, have been for years.

My motivation comes and goes, but HRT does help a lot. I have a new job which should keep me interested but I'd really rather retire, if it wasn't for needing to keep earning for a while longer.

That said, I like your scenario of a secluded luxury hut with books and art materials... just switch tea for coffee and add a dog and a cat or two and I'd be very happy.

I'll join you in the hut - well obviously a hut a good distance away as people are largely intolerable 😒 I love my work in theory, but I just CANNOT at the moment.

Look at herbal supplements if you haven't already, my sister swears that Menopace is helping her no end. Also get your b12 level checked, or just go get a b12 jab if you can afford it, it helps with energy and fatigue.
I've been off work for a few days and am dreading going back, but I know I have to, I've a mortgage to pay. Wish I didn't have to though.

My b12 is ok and BP low enough that lifestyle changes should help.
I’ll try those supplements. I’ve also tried meditation which helps with the rage.
I just can’t give a shit and my job very much requires me to. I realise part of the problem is that I feel better when moving about and my job is computer based. I just feel trapped. Maybe I could try working in my hut. Which now has tea and cats too

I feel the same. I’m not signed off work, but find it incredibly stressful in a way that I have never done previously. I can’t sleep, I wake with palpitations, I am totally unmotivated and jealous of people who are due to retire and don’t have to worry about work any more!

I would be very happy to be made redundant and dream of winning the lottery so I can leave. I don’t know if I need a less stressful job (which probably would bring a decrease in salary which is also a stress risk!), an increase in HRT dosage or even antidepressants?!

@eurochick the trouble is my job isn’t toxic, it’s a lovely set of people and a subject I’m passionate about. I just wish it didn’t involve thinking and writing so much!!

@Shinyandnew1 that is exactly how I feel. Trouble is my job wasn’t stressful until my hormones went haywire. I’m scared I’ll jump to another job and ill still be demotivated but less well paid!!

Yes, exactly! The jobs that I’m looking at pay the same full time as I’m currently on part time, so I’m thinking logically it would be such a bad idea, but I just want it all to not be my problem any more!

I think I’ve always found my job quite stressful, but sort of in a motivating/adrenaline rush kind of way and it didn’t get to me, but now it gives me such anxiety (especially at night) that it’s quite debilitating sometimes.

Retirement is such a long way off as well! I can’t still be feeling like this for another 20 years!

@Shinyandnew1 yes exactly that. My job isn’t stressful per se but is quite responsible so I need to be in good form.
Im looking at training in another area while working part time and maybe developing freelance opportunities for the future.
sending you lots of empathy as it sucks feeling like this.

@MsAnnFrope This is what I meant! Neither of the things you mention mean you can't use HRT, as long as it's the right type.

High BP is not a contraindication. If your GP has said this they are wrong. (Read the medical advice online written by specialists - just google 'high BP and HRT')

As long as you use drugs for your BP, you can use HRT.

Also- the clotting history is what exactly?
If this is strokes in your extended family, it isn't relevant.

starting HRT actually protects against heart disease as long as someone like you uses transdermal HRT not tablet form.

Just for comparison, if you mean risks of CVD, my maternal gran had a heart attack at 60, and died from a stroke when older, her son (my uncle) died from a heart attack at 51, my Mum had a TIA at 80.

I started HRT in my 50s to help give me heart protection, which it does.

Just to add @MsAnnFrope unless you have had a blood test and it's shown a very high risk of blood clotting (there's some genetic factor for some people) you should be actively looking at HRT to help reduce the e risk of heart disease.
It can't be given as prevention just for that reason, but used for menopause symptoms it does protect the heart because estrogen helps keep the arteries clear and supple.

After the menopause, (without any HRT) women's risk of heart disease not only increases to equal men's but doubles.

I think you should investigate every route to being able to take HRT. A menopause specialist will be able to help.

My biggest regret is not taking g HRT in perimenopause when I desperately needed it. I actually lost my job after 20 years blameless service because I was unable to control my emotions and I snapped ( only once, but obviously I was in the wrong) at someone who had made a huge error. In my workplace it was very much peace and love no matter what anyone did so I was out! I was a self employed contractor with no legal recourse or I would have gone to a tribunal.

Have a look on the Facebook page The Menopause Support Network. They are very knowledgeable and do private consultations.

it's not clear @MsAnnFrope if you've assumed you can't use HRT or your GP has said that.

This is a medical site (Dr Louise Newson who you may have heard of ) and this fact sheet sets out clearly why high BP is not a contraindication. It also discusses the benefits of HRT re. heart disease.
https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/high-blood-pressure-factsheet/

Main points

There is a lot of confusion around HRT and blood pressure and some women have been needlessly advised against HRT. However, a review of the evidence showed that postmenopausal women with normal and high blood pressure had a very low risk of a rise in blood pressure with all forms of HRT, and in fact their blood pressure was often lowered.

Estrogen taken as a tablet has the potential to raise blood pressure but taking estrogen through the skin as a patch, gel or spray allows your blood vessels to widen – so it can lower your blood pressure rather than raise it. Progestogens have different effects and while some could raise blood pressure, the newer type, called micronised progesterone, appears to have no effect or even lowers blood pressure. Women with raised blood pressure can still usually take HRT and it is safe to take blood pressure lowering medication with HRT.

You probably don't need to see a consultant as it's not complicated (unless your GP is a dinosaur and not up to date.)

You might also want to re-think the use of ADs because there is a long history of women being prescribed these when what they needed all along was estrogen.

https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/antidepressants-and-menopause-factsheet/

I felt so the same as you during the menopause. Just could not be arsed with anything and the career I'd enjoyed all my life had just got old, stressful and repetitive.

Once I'd got to that stage I couldn't click back into feeling how I had before. I left, retrained, started something else. It was a huge downsize, but I felt free and like life was all ahead of me, rather than behind me.

A decade later on, I have set up a small business in my my new trade, my menopause is behind me and life is better than it was before.

I always think that one of the worst things about menopause is that when it comes you think the symptoms (mine were confusion, anxiety about simple things that had been a peace of cake before and total exhaustion) will last forever, but you do, I promise, come out the other side and are a new you.

Just to reply to the above post, nobody can promise you you will 'come out the other side'.

Some women adapt to menopause and the lack of oestrogen and that is really great for them. But many women have symptoms for the rest of their lives. Personally I have had new symptoms arriving 6 years after menopause happened ( 12 years since perimenopause started) I have increased my HRT which alleviates the symptoms.

Motivation is still difficult for me but I've recently added testosterone which has helped

I'm on HRT and although I feel better than I did before, I still can't be bothered with anything.
I did say to my GP that my motivation hadn't improved she said that my HRT wasn't for that (just for sleep problems and hot flushes).

I felt like this and it turned our my testosterons had dropped to almost zero. I got it prescribed privately then my lovely GP continues to prescribe it. I now have plenty of energy and motivation.

Don't know if it's safe with high blood pressure but I strongly suggest finding out.

Your GP is wrong! HRT is for any symptom caused by oestrogen depletion. The NHS website has a list of around 60 symptoms.

@JinglingSpringbells thank you for taking the time to share all that info. My GP said I can’t have it due to BP so I’ll read up and go in properly armed with information. Thanks again for the encouragement.

You're very welcome @MsAnnFrope

As I said before, there is a lot of misinformation around on HRT and many GPs have not updated their knowledge in 20+ years. It was that long ago (and more) when HRT was mainly tablet form using the older type of drugs, that BP was considered a no-no. Utrogestan can lower blood pressure as can estrogen.

Some Gps also often conflate HRT with the Pill which is very different.