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Menopause

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Original poster

Not coping

32 replies

BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 00:32

I don't know where to begin..I will try and keep it short. I'm 52 and when symptoms got too much I went on gel and Utrogesten. This regime did nothing so I tried patches and again nothing. I stuck with it for over a year.
I have bad depression, anxiety, ache all over and have sudden debilitating episodes of feeling sick and dizzy. I don't really get much sweating or hot flushes. I have a young DS and am worried about the effect on him with my up and down moods. I have no one to lean on or talk to.
Should I try antidepressants? Also if you are on the other side of the menopause, how long did it take? My DM who died years ago, said it takes 10 years! I can't do it if this is how long it takes. I will bail out of this shit life...
Thank you.

OP posts:
JustBrowsingTheWeb · 15/04/2024 00:47

i would persist with GP and continue to seek advice from them including if anti depressants would be suitable for you, they are more effective if used with the talking therapies additionally many women also benefit from menopause support group/community if you can find one local to you or online. Gradually menopause is becoming more talked about recommend davina McCall’s “menopausing” this increased awareness is leading to more support becoming available. Hope you find a strategy that suits you and helps you overcome the difficulties I’m sure you will. Xx

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 15/04/2024 04:45

Please go back to your doctor and do not suffer in silence. Maybe an anti-depressant will help you as it did me as had to go on them after my mum passed away so been on them good few years but should have been on them earlier due to childhood trauma. They do help and do not have panic attacks. Also maybe you just needed to tweak your hrt a bit. I had to a few times as it would work and then it didn't, so had to change from sandrena to Oestrogel and then to increase the pumps and now take the utrogestron vaginally instead of orally and also changed from 2 weeks on/off to continuous. Please see if your doctor can get you an appt. for menopause clinic. It must be very difficult trying to juggle small children and peri. Please seek some help and if one anti-depressant does not work, you can try another but remember the first few weeks you will feel a bit strange while your body gets used to it and get brain zaps but it does help and keeps mood more balanced.

Lovemybunnies · 15/04/2024 04:54

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 15/04/2024 04:45

Please go back to your doctor and do not suffer in silence. Maybe an anti-depressant will help you as it did me as had to go on them after my mum passed away so been on them good few years but should have been on them earlier due to childhood trauma. They do help and do not have panic attacks. Also maybe you just needed to tweak your hrt a bit. I had to a few times as it would work and then it didn't, so had to change from sandrena to Oestrogel and then to increase the pumps and now take the utrogestron vaginally instead of orally and also changed from 2 weeks on/off to continuous. Please see if your doctor can get you an appt. for menopause clinic. It must be very difficult trying to juggle small children and peri. Please seek some help and if one anti-depressant does not work, you can try another but remember the first few weeks you will feel a bit strange while your body gets used to it and get brain zaps but it does help and keeps mood more balanced.

This is great advice. It sounds as though you should consider anti depressants. Maybe you need a higher dose of oestrogen than your GP is willing to prescribe. On a practical level I find if I concentrate on staying hydrated the dizziness is not as bad.

whatisforteamum · 15/04/2024 05:00

I had these symptoms and upped my oestrogel to 4 pumps now.
Maybe your dose is too low.

Hoglet70 · 15/04/2024 06:29

Anti-depressants did more for my anxiety than HRT did and I now take these with some supplements and knocked the HRT on the head. HRT isn't the magic medicine that Davina is making it out to be and sometimes you do need to explore other things. You will get there though!

Original poster
BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 06:41

Hoglet70 · 15/04/2024 06:29

Anti-depressants did more for my anxiety than HRT did and I now take these with some supplements and knocked the HRT on the head. HRT isn't the magic medicine that Davina is making it out to be and sometimes you do need to explore other things. You will get there though!

Thanks for all your advice. I do really appreciate it.

I have tried 4 pumps of gel .. no difference in symptoms... and then when I tried patches, the gp said to try going from Evorel 50 to 75. It actually made everything worse! I got really swollen painful breasts and when I told them, they said it was working too well! I felt awful so stopped everything and tried to go cold turkey.

I think because Davina can afford a special consultant and tailored treatment, it's bound to work for her! For everyone else it isn't the magic cure she makes it out to be!

OP posts:
Original poster
BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 07:07

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants
Thankyou..you are completely right about the juggling peri with young kids! I only have one but had him at 40 and feel i had 10 great years and now I honestly feel dead inside and am so worried about the effect on him. I try to keep as much as I can inside but he picks up on it and will ask how I am before asking me anything, bless him. Just writing this I know I need help.😪

OP posts:
Original poster
BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 07:10

Lovemybunnies
Thank you. You saying about hydration is a very good point as I am awful at drinking enough water! I will make an effort to keep hydrated to help with dizziness.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 07:13

JustBrowsingTheWeb
Thank you. How long will it take for it to be over? I know it's a case of everyone being different. But I have no idea except for my late DM telling me it can last 10 years! She never said anything about her symptoms but I remember she used to lock herself away in her bedroom for hours and hours.

OP posts:
IncognitoMam · 15/04/2024 08:12

Sounds like your DM was very depressed.

Definitely go back to the GP or see a different one if you can?

I had to come off hrt. I hope you find something to help.

Strongbeatsskinny · 15/04/2024 13:22

BooseysMom · 15/04/2024 06:41

Thanks for all your advice. I do really appreciate it.

I have tried 4 pumps of gel .. no difference in symptoms... and then when I tried patches, the gp said to try going from Evorel 50 to 75. It actually made everything worse! I got really swollen painful breasts and when I told them, they said it was working too well! I felt awful so stopped everything and tried to go cold turkey.

I think because Davina can afford a special consultant and tailored treatment, it's bound to work for her! For everyone else it isn't the magic cure she makes it out to be!

Show quote history

Go back to the GP and get them to refer you to a NHS menopause specialist some do both privately and NHS. You can look on the British menopause society website to see how many there are in area. You might have to wait a while for an appointment but it’ll give you something to focus on. I tried many different combinations took almost a year to find what worked best for me.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 16/04/2024 04:59

Things will get better, my own doctor would not even give me hrt when I was 48 and again at 52 so got an appointment at a wellwoman clinic/family planning and they were great and she also picked up on why I was so drained, underactive thyroid. Also get your bloods done for thyroid and ask for an antibodies test specifically. Don't be too hard on yourself and you are doing great. I had a few awful years coming out the other side now am 55. Got hrt at 52. After been on it a year doctor changed it to continuous as more balance with the hrt as taking same every day and not a big surge with the 2 weeks on/off which I did not like at all. I also had very heavy bleeding and the pmt was horrendous so got sent to gynae and got a scan and they did ablation and thank god no periods since as was still having them at 54. I have been where you are and thought would never come out the other side but you will but pls see your doctor and try to get hrt that will suit and get bloods done. Take some vit d also. Wishing you well and be kind to yourself as our bodies/minds going through so much change losing our hormones and we feel like we are losing the plot, you will get through this ok, big hugs xx

brogueish · 16/04/2024 10:23

OP I could have written your post. Thank you for posting. I'm a few years behind you (but not much) and had my DC at 41. I'm on a different type of HRT but not sure if I need to tweak the HRT, try anti-depressants, or something else entirely. It's a minefield and I am so worried about the impact the my mood might be having on my DC.

Original poster
BooseysMom · 18/04/2024 14:37

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 16/04/2024 04:59

Things will get better, my own doctor would not even give me hrt when I was 48 and again at 52 so got an appointment at a wellwoman clinic/family planning and they were great and she also picked up on why I was so drained, underactive thyroid. Also get your bloods done for thyroid and ask for an antibodies test specifically. Don't be too hard on yourself and you are doing great. I had a few awful years coming out the other side now am 55. Got hrt at 52. After been on it a year doctor changed it to continuous as more balance with the hrt as taking same every day and not a big surge with the 2 weeks on/off which I did not like at all. I also had very heavy bleeding and the pmt was horrendous so got sent to gynae and got a scan and they did ablation and thank god no periods since as was still having them at 54. I have been where you are and thought would never come out the other side but you will but pls see your doctor and try to get hrt that will suit and get bloods done. Take some vit d also. Wishing you well and be kind to yourself as our bodies/minds going through so much change losing our hormones and we feel like we are losing the plot, you will get through this ok, big hugs xx

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants
That's very kind, thank you. Your advice has really helped me see more clearly what to do. Funnily enough, my period started today..4 weeks to the day and the pmt was horrendous too.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooseysMom · 18/04/2024 14:39

brogueish · 16/04/2024 10:23

OP I could have written your post. Thank you for posting. I'm a few years behind you (but not much) and had my DC at 41. I'm on a different type of HRT but not sure if I need to tweak the HRT, try anti-depressants, or something else entirely. It's a minefield and I am so worried about the impact the my mood might be having on my DC.

brogueish
Thanks. I feel exactly the same, I'm really worried about the effect on my DS. I have nearly left DH several times. I just want this all to be over.

OP posts:
JinglingSpringbells · 18/04/2024 16:15

@BooseysMom There is no 'magic hrt' that Davina or other 'slebs' use.

It's all the same stuff and your gp ought to be able to offer variations. The tailored treatment is usually just a variation in cycle length if using a sequential type and, obviously, changing this to get it right.

One thing to consider is the 3 month cycle which means you use estrogen only for 10 weeks then add in Utrogestan for 2 weeks. This is absolutely not just for anyone having private meno HRT. It's in the NICE prescribing guide. It's online and easy to read by your GP and yourself.

I don't know if you are on sequential or continuous hrt. There's a bit of a fashion among GPs to put all women on continuous (progesterone daily) once they are 50 or post meno.

Sadly, this doesn't suit all women but it's the main reason some women give up on hrt.

I am still on sequential after many years as continuous doesn't suit me.

Blood tests for your thyroid and general health are good, but testing estrogen is a waste of time according to my consultant who is a hormone expert.

Also bear in mind that any new regimen needs 3 months to give it a fair trial and the side effects of a higher dose of estrogen may well subside after that time.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 18/04/2024 19:33

To you and the other poster who is worried about your children. I really think you do not have to worry as you sound so caring and just because you are worried shows that you are doing your best. Shocking really what women have to go through but just take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself even if you feel like you are losing the plot, you won't. See the doctor and try a few different things and believe me you will find something that works. Look after yourself ok xx

Original poster
BooseysMom · 25/04/2024 13:58

JinglingSpringbells · 18/04/2024 16:15

@BooseysMom There is no 'magic hrt' that Davina or other 'slebs' use.

It's all the same stuff and your gp ought to be able to offer variations. The tailored treatment is usually just a variation in cycle length if using a sequential type and, obviously, changing this to get it right.

One thing to consider is the 3 month cycle which means you use estrogen only for 10 weeks then add in Utrogestan for 2 weeks. This is absolutely not just for anyone having private meno HRT. It's in the NICE prescribing guide. It's online and easy to read by your GP and yourself.

I don't know if you are on sequential or continuous hrt. There's a bit of a fashion among GPs to put all women on continuous (progesterone daily) once they are 50 or post meno.

Sadly, this doesn't suit all women but it's the main reason some women give up on hrt.

I am still on sequential after many years as continuous doesn't suit me.

Blood tests for your thyroid and general health are good, but testing estrogen is a waste of time according to my consultant who is a hormone expert.

Also bear in mind that any new regimen needs 3 months to give it a fair trial and the side effects of a higher dose of estrogen may well subside after that time.

JinglingSpringbells
Thank you for your advice. I stopped all HRT about 8 months ago. I felt better at first but it's worse again now and I can't see any pattern to it. It's a roller coaster. I tried the Estrogel and when that did nothing, I tried the patches, Evorel Sequi & Conti. They increased the dose from 50 to 75 and I felt appalling! So here we are back to square one.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooseysMom · 25/04/2024 14:00

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 18/04/2024 19:33

To you and the other poster who is worried about your children. I really think you do not have to worry as you sound so caring and just because you are worried shows that you are doing your best. Shocking really what women have to go through but just take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself even if you feel like you are losing the plot, you won't. See the doctor and try a few different things and believe me you will find something that works. Look after yourself ok xx

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants
Thanks for your lovely post. 💐

OP posts:
IncognitoMam · 30/04/2024 13:42

I've booked in to see the GP next week to see about trying hrt again.

Original poster
BooseysMom · 01/05/2024 11:28

IncognitoMam · 30/04/2024 13:42

I've booked in to see the GP next week to see about trying hrt again.

IncognitoMam
I have been contemplating the same thing. I had a really bad attack of crying the other say so much so that my legs were shaking and I couldn't even get the words out! It was highly embarrassing as I was at work ..it just came out of nowhere. I feel better today but for how long?
Good luck with the GP. Let us know how it goes..

OP posts:
IncognitoMam · 03/05/2024 01:34

Thanks @BooseysMom . Are you on any ads? Definitely talk to your GP about the crying. That must feel awful.

IncognitoMam · 03/05/2024 01:36

Sorry I see you've not tried antidepressants. There are alternatives too. Have you tried any CBD?

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 03/05/2024 07:21

I found been on 2 weeks on/ 2 weeks off hrt made me feel awful as a higher dose of progestrone which I am sensitive to and was bleeding so much and could not leave the house for 2 days when got my period. Also the pmt was just awful. Now on continuous feel so much better as hormones more balanced as same dose daily and take utrogestrone vaginally so less side effects. But I was on hrt for over a year and was able to change from 2 weeks on/off to continuous. See your doctor again and before you go write the list of things that are the worst, for me I was like you and it was the emotional, no get up and go, crying, just feeling crap and so low, sometimes you need hrt and antidepressants as it does help and if it gets you through this tough time it is better than feeling crap. Ask for help and pm me any time if you need to. Peri-menopause is hard but once you find hrt that suits you it gets easier, if it does not do anything go back and ask for something else as it can take a few tweaks to get it right. I think the hard thing is we do not expect peri meno to hit us all of a sudden and not prepared and feel we have to put up with it but you don't. It will get easier I promise as felt like giving up and been where you are but believe me you will get through it and it is not perfect as it does change us, think menopause worse for women who had bad pmt/pmdd. Stay strong and you will come out the other side but get the help you need.

Original poster
BooseysMom · 11/05/2024 15:05

IncognitoMam · 03/05/2024 01:34

Thanks @BooseysMom . Are you on any ads? Definitely talk to your GP about the crying. That must feel awful.

IncognitoMam
Thanks for your post. I've just started bleeding 2 weeks early after a rough time emotionally when I broke down in tears at work. My mood has levelled now though so until the next time, I just keep going. I haven't tried CBD.

I have a really bad metallic taste in my mouth which started about 2 weeks ago and not sure if down to increasing BP meds.

OP posts:
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