What does Perimenopause feel like, mentally?

[sidsparrownew]

I keep reading about all the physical symptoms of peri but I would like to hear what it feels like mentally? I don't have many physical symptoms, just shorter cycles, sometimes irregular, libido is not what it used to be, sadly. But mentally I feel I spend half the month lacking energy and motivation. I'm waiting on my progesterone climbing so I can feel good again. I'm not depressed, I feel pretty good about life, but I also feel like part of me is gone. I used to be quite a creative person, it's just gone, apart from about 2 weeks of the month where I feel close to it, but most of the time I feel part of me is missing. My mood can fluctuate a bit as well, from brilliant to everything and every sound is grating me. Really grating me.

What are your experiences, mentally, and did HRT help?

I had anxiety, panic attacks, feelings of doom and fear and extreme and uncontrollable rage. I suffered for 5 years until I went on HRT and it all disappeared within a week.

The lack of motivation came later for me, after menopause. I've upped my HRT dose to maximum but it's only after adding testosterone that I have some motivation back.

@Movinghouseatlast Oh did your GP prescribe testosterone no bother? I'm in Scotland and from what I've read only a specialist Dr will prescribe it.

Some of my friends are talking about having periods of a week or two, not connected to menstruating, of feeling very weepy.

Other people get sudden and sometimes uncharacteristic rage. I don't think I'm feeling anything particularly from it and I'm definitely a few years in, so it does vary.

When did it start? I'm 41 and feel like I'm going on the wildest swings from pits of depression to irritability/rage (that may be the DC pushing boundaries) and fatigue. Lost all motivation. Bored with everything. Normally a cup half full person and adventurous person.

Physically my previously clockwork periods are more erratic and extremely heavy.

Bad-tempered fog. Basically, you are pissed off with anything and everything, and don't know why.

The positive for me was that my bullshit radar began to work at full strength and gave me the hitherto unknown ability to say: No, fuck off.😂

I felt really flat and like there was no joy in life, when I wasn't feeling incredible rage. Libido was OK but really unmotivated in many ways. Lots of UTIs, muscle pain and zero energy.

HRT changed everything - feel like I got myself back.

@DecafBluebell I was about 40/41. I put it all down to stress, 2 kids under 5, the lockdowns. And all of that was shit, but I realise now that there were a few things going on. And now that the other things have eased I'm still left with unexplained symptoms which can only be perimenopause. I've been in denial because I really wanted a 3rd child. Thought this month was it, late period, symptoms. No, just perimenopause, so it's time to face up to facts. 😥☀

For me it was the rage. Really irrational, nonsensical, uncontrollable rage. Usually at inanimate objects. Ie I’ve been known to kick the bin, the fridge, the washing machine - all because they haven’t done what I expected them to do. Thankfully HRT sorted that out PDQ.

@BearlyUp Oh dear that sounds familiar. I have broken things in a fit of rage. 😵‍💫

I haven't noticed anything mentally at all. I've been having hot flushes on and off for about a year, drier skin and hair and my periods have changed - two light days at the beginning that I never used to have - but mentally nothing. I started taking an A-Z vitamin that I wouldn't be without now.

@sidsparrownew I should have edited my post to say ‘I’ve been known in the past’…. as the rage has hugely improved with HRT. It was pretty instantaneously controlled.
I’m on Oestrogel & Utrogestan. Obviously HRT isn’t for everyone, and it’s very personal depending on your other symptoms. But it has worked very well for me. Not only for the rage, I also had horrible day and night sweats (the night ones also led to awful insomnia). All of that has been resolved with HRT.

I was referred to a menopause specialist as my GP doesn't approve of HRT at all!

I had a heightened libido in peri before completely crashing in meno. No other mental symptoms. I was early though so don't know if that manifests differently

Brain fog. Years ago the menopause was called "The List Syndrome". I couldn't even remember to feed our animals, I used to write on a chalk board and tick off. Before that,you could set your watch by me!

Rage, incredibly impatient, anxious, chronic imposter syndrome, tearful, very low mood, and a general sense of both doom and feeling that I was going totally mental.

Within a week of starting HRT I suddenly realised quite how shitty I'd been feeling as it all lifted!! Definitely try it.

Like all my lust for life and resilience had gone. Then about once a month intense rage like I had never, ever experienced before. I didn't even really know why I got angry. I'd have to leave the house and take myself off for a few hours to cool off.
Then anxiety slowly crept in - I'd never had anxiety in my life, it was horrible and i really empathise with people suffering from it now.
Mirena coil and evorel patches sorted it all out - took a few weeks to notice a difference, 4 months to feel just like my old self again.

For me it's feeling sad to very sad and also bored by everything for at least 2/3rds of the time. It's the absolute pits.

I'm 41 and for the last year I've just withdrawn more and more from the company of others. I've always enjoyed my own company but now all I really want to do is sit at home and watch TV.
I'm very social in my role at work and still feel like I do well at that but otherwise I just don't want to know.
Keep wondering if I'm depressed or peri menopausal.

Thanks for this thread. I'm 40 this year and the last few months my cycle has been quite random, so I've had 21 day cycles and 35 day ones. I have horrible anxiety at the moment and relate to the rage also.

I sort of assumed it was all a while off but maybe not.

Can you just go to your GP and ask them to test to see if it's perimenopause?

I’ve been dealing with peri symptoms for a year and a bit now. Have my HRT here but too scared to start taking it (utterly daft I know) but as I’m under 45 I had to wait for full consultant referral to get it.

The official term I agreed with the gynae is “bonkers.” And I don’t realise I’m bonkers until after I’ve hideously overreacted to yet another thing.

• weepy
• angry
• thought my friends and loved ones would be a lot better off without me
• intense feelings (including crazy high libido at times and none at other times)
• lack of confidence
• poor executive function
• heavy periods with pain for first time

I am trying to reset my diet currently as I was told this is key. If I feel no better I will start the HRT.

This is exactly what I had.
with an underlying urge to quit everything I had worked for and lie in bed till I was old enough to die.

HRT really helped but I am still not sure who I am.

My existing traits of not suffering fools gladly and intolerance of virtue signalling and #bekind bullshit turned up to 11, basically. I wouldn’t call it rage, more a sort of contemptuous impatience.

Oh my gosh, this is me. Except libido, which is gone.

I also have a permanent knot of anxiety in my stomach, I wake up with it every day.

In a way I feel better knowing there might be a biological reason for it all and I'm not just losing it.

@Pigwidgeon99 have you spoken to your GP? The consultant gynae I saw was really pleased my GP had referred me. They often prescribe anti-depressants instead of spotting it.

I honestly wouldn’t have said there was anything wrong with me - I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t remember anything and I felt so deeply upset in a kind of tragic “this is my life now” kind of way. I already feel a bit better just changing my diet and looking after myself a bit better.