What does Perimenopause feel like, mentally?

[sidsparrownew]

I keep reading about all the physical symptoms of peri but I would like to hear what it feels like mentally? I don't have many physical symptoms, just shorter cycles, sometimes irregular, libido is not what it used to be, sadly. But mentally I feel I spend half the month lacking energy and motivation. I'm waiting on my progesterone climbing so I can feel good again. I'm not depressed, I feel pretty good about life, but I also feel like part of me is gone. I used to be quite a creative person, it's just gone, apart from about 2 weeks of the month where I feel close to it, but most of the time I feel part of me is missing. My mood can fluctuate a bit as well, from brilliant to everything and every sound is grating me. Really grating me.

What are your experiences, mentally, and did HRT help?

@BigHorseLittleHorse I haven't, but I will.

I feel the same. I also feel like I'm looking at the world in a sort of dream-like fog a lot of the time. Particularly when in social situations. It's really unpleasant.

There's no one answer to this, everyone's experience is different. For every woman who was wracked with anxiety and lack of confidence, there is another who sailed through without any problems. It's not one size fits all.

All you can do is be aware that peri/menopause can affect your mental health. And if you're suddenly having panic attacks, bad anxiety or depression that you haven't had before, then it might be menopause related and best treated with HRT rather than antidepressants.

weepy
angry
thought my friends and loved ones would be a lot better off without me
intense feelings (including crazy high libido at times and none at other times)
lack of confidence
poor executive function
heavy periods with pain for first time

Absolutely exactly what I'm experiencing, plus anxiety. I'm 52, so I guess that's fairly late to be starting all this. My periods started getting really heavy a few years back, and now they've started getting irregular.

Arghghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quite enjoy the rage to be honest as I was such a door mat.
Still have regular periods. But I can’t seem to lose weight and I feel a bit bleurgh. Probably diet related. My get up and go has got up and gone!

I'm too old to be peri any more, but still feel dogged by low mood, low motivation and reduced libido, interspersed with feelings of towering rage at things I probably tolerated before. Oh, and more often than not there's a current of ridiculous anxiety running in the background, hampering my capacity to deal with the shit life chucks at all of us. I just want to hide and wait for it all to be over.

I feel flat and unmotivated at times.

Things that used to interest and excite me now seem like too much hassle and hard work eg planning and booking a european mini break.
I used to have enthusiasm and interest in things now I cant be arsed.

The up side is Ive no problem telling people no and will no tolerate crap from anyone.

@DahliaMacNamara

”a current of ridiculous anxiety running in the background, hampering my capacity to deal with the shit life chucks at all of us. I just want to hide and wait for it all to be over.”

This is spot on. My phrase I say in my head is “Stop the world, I want to get off.”

My GP was horrible. I was all of a sudden suffering from anxiety, insomnia, hot flashes, uncontrollable sweating. All they could do was ask about the wellbeing of my child and if they thought I was a good mother. Then I started suffering vertigo attacks, where I was falling over and couldn’t stop the fall. I literally was terrified I had something worse but felt like I couldn’t go to my GP. I ended up going private with Boots and they prescribed HRT and it all cleared up straightaway. Within the year of starting, I have had to up the dosage twice (the hot flushes came back) and I felt a lot better each time. I also have stopped drinking red wine and really cleaned up my diet. Also, exercise is so important. Not the boring stuff, but try and find a physical activity you enjoy. Wishing you the best. My perimenopause started when I was 45.

I feel like I've got pmt all of the time. So that ranges from upset to irritability with occasional rage.

I upped my protein in take and that helps.

I have no idea because, although I am nearly 3 years into menopause, I was never aware of "being peri" (which was not even a word I knew until I saw it on here). When I was 56, I had my last period. That was it.
The point being that everyone is different so there may not ever be any symptoms, physical or mental. So don't assume anything.

I often feel switched off from my family, like the caring hormones have gone. Yet I also get anxious about them.

People irritate me more. Brain fog gets really frustrating.

I've had rages, but thankfully that has stopped.

And I’m not allowed HRT because I had breast cancer.

Oh yes, and the feeling flat and can’t be bothered.

The point being that everyone is different so there may not ever be any symptoms, physical or mental. So don't assume anything.

I'm not sure anyone is assuming anything, are they? The OP is having some symptoms which may be down to perimenopause and is asking other people about their experiences. You sound rather dismissive.

What is the advice on diet?

I don't want to go on HRT either

I had anxiety, panic attacks, feelings of doom and fear

Very similar to me. I'd always been a laid back, calm sort of person and I suddenly found myself cheerfully chatting to colleagues about random stuff and would be thinking, 'OMG I'm going to cry. I've got a lump in my throat for no reason and I think I'm going to start weeping. For nothing'.

It was terrifying. I also lay awake worrying about stuff. Endless ruminating, going over and over minor things that would never have crossed my mind before. I wasn't full of rage - but I was full of anxiety - and always felt scared that I was out of control. I had a senior role at work and was the calm, practical, capable one - and I suddenly felt useless and hopeless and dithery. Brain fog, loss of memory, unable to confidently make a decision or remember stuff.

It was awful. I went on HRT which massively helped (although I had 2 years on anti depressants which didn't - simply piled 4 stone in weight on before I clicked that I wasn't depressed - I was menopausal and needed hormones, not ADs)

It's horrible. I still don't feel my 'old' self even though periods stopped about 6 years ago, so I'm presumably post menopause. I still don't have the confidence I used to have. And I certainly don't have the energy.

@DecafBluebell basically eating healthily and giving your body plenty of nutrients - avoiding sugar as much as possible. Refined sugar can trigger and exacerbate the lows associated with peri apparently. My GP also suggested trying some of the supplements available to see if it helped - I know a friend felt better taking magnesium.

I had a terrible sugar and Coke Zero addiction so I’ve overhauled my diet and stopped drinking Coke completely. It’s hard though and I’m just hoping I can keep it up!

Does anyone else's mood change dramatically overnight? I've been a mess for over a week, feeling like everything was awful, work a nightmare etc, anxiety, heart racing, achy etc, then bam - one day I woke up and felt absolutely fine! Nothing at work etc changed - same horrendous to-do list etc, but suddenly I was ok with it. I've always been a very even-tempered person. This rollercoaster is a real shock to the system!

It was terrifying. I also lay awake worrying about stuff. Endless ruminating, going over and over minor things that would never have crossed my mind before. I wasn't full of rage - but I was full of anxiety - and always felt scared that I was out of control. I had a senior role at work and was the calm, practical, capable one - and I suddenly felt useless and hopeless and dithery. Brain fog, loss of memory, unable to confidently make a decision or remember stuff.

100% all of this. I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water at work (except I know everyone else thinks I'm doing fine), and then suddenly it lifts for a bit. Presumably it's my hormone levels shifting. I'm beginning to think I should go to the gp.

I was fine until 51, I felt a bit low. I used to spend the weekends on various projects, painting something, stitching something. Can't be arsed anymore. I think, what difference will it make. I am on HRT and have got back into a bit of exercise which has helped a lot. I do still sometimes think, what's the point of x,y or z. But they tend to be smaller things. I still want to stay healthy, eat healthily, save. Maybe it's just perspective shifting.

ps, I overhauled my diet the same time as I went on hrt so it'd be hard to say 100% that it was the hrt making me feel a bit less apathetic and lethargic. Before, even in my late forties, weight management was always the priority so I'd have eaten diet yogurts and other foods which help you get to the next meal but are processed and full of saccharine. I eat better now. SO much better. I think this is it for life now, and that would have depressed me in my forties. what, no more chips, no more danish pastries? no more wine? Now I'm crushing hazelnuts to put into my broccoli, feta and cherry tomato salad. Your taste buds come alive in different ways.

If it weren’t for my children I’d probably be trying to off myself on a regular basis the depression is that bad.

I feel rage, anxiety, depression, can’t sleep, have lost all confidence at work, feel totally detached from everyone including my family.

im on oestrogen patches and progesterone tablets, im still having periods which the GP says I’m not supposed to. They are heavy and sore and I have irregular breakthrough bleeding too. I also have fibromyalgia so the two together are going to be the end of me I’m sure of it. I’m 49 in a few month.

Crippling. Seriously crippling.

i was low, crying, isolating myself from loved ones, couldn’t sleep, concentrate.

tried HRT 2 yrs ago and did absolutely nothing. Been on Sertaline since the start of January and im back to my old self.

i just walked in to my GP and cried my heart out. That in itself was a gamechanger. I had no one I could talk to. Im not lonely but you have to speak to the right person.

i look at myself in the mirror and my spark is back.

Like having everything that you thought you knew about yourself being systematically destroyed. Thought you had a good memory? Not anymore. Generally quite a calm, capable person? Nope. Think of yourself as generally pretty upbeat and positive? No, you now just feel flat. Tend to be someone who can see the funny side of things? Absolutely not. The world just pisses you off…..basically take everything you think of as inherently ‘you’ and turn it upside down. That’s how perimenopause feels mentally.

My debilitating OCD vanished almost immediately once I started on HRT.